Good Morning and Good Night

The last two mornings started off with an awesome new thing. On both days, Jackson woke crying, but I wanted to get Katie up before I went to him. I got about 2 minutes of pillow talk with her, then told her it was time to get up and get dressed. I asked her to meet me in Jackson's room when she was finished.

I went to Jackson and got him from his crib and rocked him in the dark. He snuggles in to me every morning, and we point at things around the room and name them. Yesterday and today, Katie came into the room and asked if she could rock too. So she climbed up on my lap and snuggled in. Ah, bliss: to have both my babies in my arms, in the quiet morning hour, still smelling clean after baths the previous night, and rocking and cuddling. I hope I'm lucky enough to have this become our morning tradition, at least until our combined weight breaks the rocking chair. And even if it does, I'll find an industrial-strength glider that can accomodate us all until they hit their adult years. Ha, ha! Truly - I'll keep rocking them as long as they'll let me.

I've also been blessed enough to end the day on a high note, especially with Jackson. Our bedtime routine is always: dim lights, pacifier, blanket, two books (one is usually Moo, Baa, La La La by Sandra Boynton), then we listen to Goodnight, My Angel by Billy Joel in the dark. Lately while listening, Jackson snuggles in to my chest and does this kind of humming/cooing/gurgling through his pacifier. I've started mimicking him back, and making the same sounds in return. He loves it, and will change his pitch up and down to see if I will follow him. This little copycat game is wonderful, and makes me feel so connected to him.

Katie's also asked me to put her to bed the last two nights, instead of Daddy. It's almost the feeling of getting picked first in middle school P.E. - at least, I imagine it's like that. (I don't think I ever got picked first!) We read two books and say prayers and snuggle while we listen to the same Billy Joel song. This has really helped me the last two nights. I feel like it's filling my tank a bit so that I can get through missing her the next day. And, yes, I have been missing her desperately since she started school. I am actually depressed in the mornings when Jackson and I go out for whatever activity we have planned, and Katie isn't with us. Ugh. My eyes are tearing up even now. I just miss her. So much.

I'm so grateful that I have a good morning and a good night with my kids. These moments are bookends to my days, and help me feel like I'm doing at least something right. Sleep tight, babies.