Managing

Have I mentioned lately how lucky, lucky, lucky I am? I guess it doesn't have much to do with luck, though. I am truly blessed, and oh-so-grateful for all the love I have in my life.

Let me explain why I feel this way. Last week after my three-day pity party, I woke up Thursday morning and decided to have a PMA (Dad's acronym for Positive Mental Attitude) and just move on to the good in my life. I realized there were some family and friends who didn't know about my lupus diagnosis, so I sent an email out inviting them to read my blog and find out the latest. I can't tell you what a wonderful reaction I got from so many people - professions of faith in my character and strength, encouragement for fighting lupus, and even a few compliments on my blog and my writing abilities. (You have no idea how much that made me glow!) In responding to lots of the comments and emails I got, I decided to make a separate folder on my computer and save some of those emails in a central location. Now when I have another hard day, I can read back over the words and gain strength from them. Thank you, everyone, for making my heart sing.

This week is a new beginning, and a break from last week's shock and despair. I'm back, y'all. I'm learning how to just live with the aches that come with lupus (which I've been learning anyway the last 3 months while symptoms set in). I'm adjusting to what I can and can't do. I'm learning how to manage things. I now know that I have to exercise every morning, to help loosen up my joints. I have realized that I can't skip ibuprofen at lunch time without paying the price in the afternoon (although it's still hard to remember). I'm trying to accept help more often (like letting Beth and Sean watch Katie last week or letting them feed us lunch), and I'm saying yes to the things that I know will inspire and uplift me (church with Jen on Saturday, even when I wanted to stay home and make s'mores). Dan has helped me by giving me all my medicines before he leaves for work in the morning. This has been awesome. He leaves so early and gives me the meds and water, and then I get to go back to sleep and doze while I wait for the meds - ibuprofen, specifically - to take effect. Dan has also helped me undress at night (get your minds out of the gutter!) because the range of motion in my arms and shoulders limits my movements, especially at bedtime. I'm adapting to this new way of life, and can't wait for the Plaquenil to kick in so I don't feel the pain anymore. Think how great that's going to be!

Katie has been a great help the last few days, too. This is her third and last week of cycle break before she returns to school on Monday. My favorite part of cycle break has been sleeping in each morning. She climbs in bed with me and we snuggle. She prays for me each morning, and we stretch and gently wake each other up. She also watches me (try to) clench and unclench my hands as I attempt to get rid of the morning achiness. This morning, she told me to wiggle my hands and "shake that lupus out." She's been helpful with Jackson, too. When he wakes, she goes into his room and reads to him while I slowly ease myself out of bed and get my workout clothes on. She helps me during the day, entertaining him while I make lunches and helping clean up toys. Of course, it could have something to do with my bribes of brownies after dinner. But I'll take what I can get!

So, I'm making progress this week already. Thanks for everyone's prayers and support. I can already feel it working, and I thank God for it.

I'm going to leave you with a quote that my friend Susan emailed me, and one I'm going to post on my bathroom mirror: "Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe." I love that one! May it help me slow down and lessen the stress in my life.

Oh, one more thing! I have to share these two amazing photos I took of Katie last Friday. Have you ever seen a more beautiful child in your life? The one of her hanging with the sun behind her captures her spirit so well - she is glowing, and is full of light.