Surrender Date

Beth told me about a recent Oprah episode where the husband and wife went on a Surrender Date. The thinking behind it is that today's women are in control of every aspect of their lives: work, kids, schedules, groceries, cleaning, and all the details of running a home. That means a lot of our husbands don't have much control, and the wives have infantilized them and treated them like children. Therefore the wives aren't as attracted to their husbands anymore, because it's hard to be attracted to someone who seems powerless. The Surrender Date is a way to shift the control back into the husband's hands. In the Oprah episode, the husband was in charge of planning every aspect of the date: navigating directions, picking out the clothes she wears, finding a place to eat, even ordering food for the wife.

I showed the episode to Dan. We both agreed we're not in extreme need of a Surrender Date because our marriage is pretty healthy. (I don't exert complete control, just partial. Ha, ha.) But we thought a Surrender Date would be fun, and he was up for the challenge. Grandma had already invited the kids to spend the night at her house last night, so we were off on our date.

Dan started the evening by arriving home with a bouquet of pink roses. (He knows I don't like red roses. Good choice on the pink!) After I arranged the roses in a vase, Dan escorted me upstairs and told me to pick out a dress to wear. He didn't go as far as picking it out for me, but told me that it needed to be a dress and I could not wear denim. He then changed into a suit, and that's when I knew we were up for a big night - not a movie and Applebee's like I had imagined. (Have I mentioned how handsome my husband always looks in a suit?! Yowza!)

We left the house in Dan's car, which was a change from the norm and meant I didn't even have my iPod to select music. But I didn't mind: we ended up having a great conversation about his job, future plans, and our friends, among other topics. It was a long drive, and I didn't even once ask him where we were going. We ended up in downtown St. Louis at the Millenium Hotel. Dan said we were a little early, so we had a drink at Martini's Bar. At 7:00, we took the elevator up 27 more floors to a restaurant called Top of the Riverfront. The elevator doors opened and we stepped into the small lobby of St. Louis' only revolving restaurant. I had heard of it, and always wanted to see it. It turned out to be such a great dinner. So romantic and relaxing. Before we even ordered drinks, Dan said, "Let me save you the suspense. Yes, they have creme brulee here." He had called earlier in the day to confirm that my favorite dessert was available. Oh, what a guy!

We had a trio appetizer of pistachio-crusted zucchini, a duck taco, and a crabcake. We ordered wine, ate salad and rolls, then our meals were peppered steak (for him) and salmon (for me). And, no, he didn't order for me. He figured I could take care of that. Dessert was heavenly. It was creme brulee with a raspberry compote on top. Oh. My. Gawd. I literally got goosebumps with my first bite. (I love creme brulee. Love.)

Our dinner conversation was almost as good as the dessert. We dreamed a bit and talked about future vacations (relaxing ones vs. high activity ones), trips we want to take with the kids (camping, Disney, Great Wolf Lodge), and my new goal of a half-marathon next fall (walking, y'all... just walking). I can't tell you how wonderful it was just to sit and enjoy the sensations of good food, attention from my husband, and the amazing view of St. Louis and the Gateway Arch. We decided that this dinner would be our anniversary celebration a month early. It's December 23 and never gets the attention it deserves, so it was nice to have a moment to just be us -without the gifts, without the pressure. After dinner, Dan's plan was to walk the Arch grounds but the rain nixed that. We drove across the street to the Arch and Old Cathedral, and decided to sit in the car instead of walking.

When we got home last night, we both walked into the kitchen. I stayed near the door to take off my heels, and Dan walked over to the the kitchen counter. It is a memory that will be frozen forever in my mind. In the dim light he turned and looked at me and said, "I am in love with you." The look on his face was so tender and full of adoration. It was breathtaking. He is breathtaking.

What a great night! A wonderful dinner, time with my best friend, and a spontaneous anniversary celebration of 12 years and 11 months of marriage. I can't wait to surrender again!