I opened a new bottle of daily vitamins last night, to add to my repertoire of medicines. It was a big bottle, with 200 vitamins inside. I started wondering when exactly I’ll run out and have to buy more. Two hundred days from March 15 is… October 1. Yes, I did the math. The hard, tedious way – counting the calendar days one by one.
On October 1, 2010, I’ll have a three year old and a seven year old. I will be preparing for another season to turn, just like I am right now. I assume most parts of my life will be the same, but then I realize how much I assume. Any minor (or major) thing could happen in the next 199 days and change my life’s direction. Then again, nothing much could happen, and I might just consume the next 199 days without even stopping to think about it. Like a daily vitamin, swallowed without care, not even noticed until the bottle is empty.
Do we ever stop to count the miniscule ways we use up life every day? The vitamin bottle seems so full right now, with only yesterday’s vitamin missing. Tonight, I’ll take the second of 200 and the bottle will get just slightly lighter. The fullness is lessening before my eyes. Just barely, but it is.
How many more vitamins are in my proverbial bottle? How many more days do I have left? How will I spend those precious days? I hope wisely. With passion, conviction, joy, love for God and my family.
I wonder, do I think about endings more often than most people, because of the tragic endings I’ve had in my life? Or does anyone else think about this kind of stuff too?
2 comments:
I think about them sometimes...especially now, thinking about when I'll find out the gender of the baby, when I will actually give birth...how old I'll be, L will be, etc. It's crazy to think about it.
Yes,Elizabeth I too think these thoughts,all too often.
My life has been a challenging one, more so than most. Yet I have no doubt because of this, I have become a more compassionate, loving woman. One friend once told me,"you can allow this to make you bitter or better." Through grace I believe I am a better person.
with love,
Terri Baker
Post a Comment