Family Reunion – Summer Trip Part 3

"With a holy host of others standing 'round me… I'm going to Carolina in my mind." (James Taylor, "Carolina in My Mind")

After we left my hometown in Georgia, we drove on to my sister’s house in North Carolina to attend the reunion of my father’s side of my family. (The same people who skydived at our reunion two years ago.) We are all descendents of my paternal grandmother, who would have turned 97 this weekend. Besides the reunion and Grandmother’s birthday, we gathered to have a surprise party for my Uncle John’s 70th birthday. He’s the oldest surviving child of my grandmother, so he is now the patriarch of our clan.

We lined the road in front of my sister’s house to welcome his arrival.

He pulled up, accepted hugs and a beer, then flashed his Sheriff’s badge. He elected himself sheriff of our family two years ago, and he loves to walk around and remind everyone that he’s “da Sheriff!”

My sister and my aunt planned quite the party. My sister had a tent installed and rented tables and chairs.

She put together cute centerpieces highlighting the birthday boy’s life.

She ordered the cutest Sheriff cake…

…and had the baker make adorable jeweled cupcakes to represent Grandmother’s jewelry that we all “cherished” after her funeral. (*Ahem.* Loooong story there…)

She brought in a bounce house and all kinds of yard games.

She lives on a small lake, so there were canoes to paddle…

…and fish to tease, snakes to shoot, and docks to sit on and ponder life.

As if that weren’t enough, my sister Mary had 20 people spend the night in her four-bedroom home, three people in a tour bus in the front yard, and set sixteen other people up at nearby condos. We had people coming out of the woodwork!

We had amazing food, including hand-picked peaches that tasted like what I *hope* heaven smells like.

I found a new favorite drink. It’s sweet-tea-flavored vodka mixed with lemonade. Yum! (Yes, this photo is out of focus. Which is what happens when you drink sweet-tea flavored-vodka!)

We watched while some family members performed amazing party tricks.

We toasted each other and “the perfect woman…” (“How could I ask for more?”)

I took over 700 photos. My uncle also schooled me on the multiple exposure feature on my camera. (Cool!)

We laughed. A lot!

Someone (I’m not mentioning names!) hit someone else’s car. Oops!

I met a few relatives for the first time.

And I got to watch one of the newest relatives start to explore the world.

I walked away with a sense of belonging and gratitude for the family who came before me and who created this nest of people I love. (Yes, EVEN the crazy ones. Ha!) We had a fantastic summer trip, great visit home, and family reunion!

Katie’s Charm Bracelet

When I was a little girl, one of the things I loved to do was go through Mom’s jewelry box and look at all her treasures. I always loved the silver charm bracelet she had hidden away. I never saw her wear it, and I don’t know much about where it came from or when it was purchased.

When I got older, I started collecting charms for my own charm bracelet. Mom bought me some, I bought myself some, and others were given as gifts from friends or Dan. When Mom died, I inherited her charm bracelet as well as some other jewelry. There were some pieces – including the charm bracelet – that I don’t know anything about. Since I feel that jewelry is a personal statement, I decided I didn’t want stories of my own jewelry to die with me. I decided to photograph each piece, then I made a scrapbook and described the jewelry in my own handwriting. I even included a photo of my original engagement ring (the one I lost!) and the story of how I lost it. I’m glad I documented my jewelry, and one day I hope it’s something my kids will appreciate owning.

When Katie turned one, I started a charm bracelet for her. I decided to buy her a charm each year for her birthday. She hasn’t even seen it yet. I know she’s not ready to wear a piece of" “real” jewelry, but I’ll keep collecting charms until I feel the time is right to give it to her.

There are seven charms on the bracelet. The first is the year “2004”, which signifies her first birthday and her first charm.

The second charm is a butterfly. The day before Mom died, she told Mary and I, “I know I’m not a butterfly, but I feel like I’m in a cocoon.” Mary and I started collecting butterflies as a way to remember Mom. I chose a butterfly for Katie’s second birthday because it reflected the loss of her grandmother (and grandfather) that year.

The third charm is a pickup truck. For Katie’s third birthday, we had a Dodge Ram party. She *loved* Dodge Rams at the time, so her party was all about trucks. The cupcakes had real Matchbox trucks on them, the kids made foam trucks/cars at the party, and we borrowed my friend Catrina’s Dodge Ram so the kids could take a ride in it up and down the street. It was only fitting that the charm that year was a truck!

The fourth charm is a black bead. It is a bead made by a woman named Lisa at Roses2Remember. She uses roses from special events (weddings, funerals, etc.) and makes jewelry from them. For Valentine’s Day 2007, Dan gave Katie her first bouquet of roses. I saved them and sent one to Lisa. She made a bead for Katie’s charm bracelet, so Katie will always have a reminder of how much her dad loved her before she even realized it! (Lisa has also made jewelry out of roses from Dad’s funeral and Grandmother’s funeral. I highly recommend asking her to help commemorate something special for you too.)

The fifth charm is a school bus. It signifies Katie’s entry into Kindergarten that year. The sixth charm is a ruler, which also commemorates school. This is a bit confusing. Katie’s birthday is in June, and school starts in July. So when she turned five, I gave her the bus charm because she would be going to school in a matter of weeks. (She also just had her first ride in a school bus for our district’s Saturday School preparation for Kindergarten.) Then for her sixth birthday, I wanted to commemorate the year that had just passed – her first year of school – so I did the ruler. I know, it wasn’t very original. But it is what it is!

The seventh and last charm is a gymnast. The year between Katie’s sixth and seventh birthdays was the first year she took gymnastics lessons. She went from barely doing a somersault to being able to do cartwheels and handstands by herself. I was so proud of her and wanted to mark the growth and confidence she gained through gymnastics.

I have a while until Katie’s next birthday, but I’m already thinking of the ways she’ll grow this coming year, and how we’ll be able to mark the growth next June!

Two Hundred Vitamins

I opened a new bottle of daily vitamins last night, to add to my repertoire of medicines. It was a big bottle, with 200 vitamins inside. I started wondering when exactly I’ll run out and have to buy more. Two hundred days from March 15 is… October 1. Yes, I did the math. The hard, tedious way – counting the calendar days one by one.

On October 1, 2010, I’ll have a three year old and a seven year old. I will be preparing for another season to turn, just like I am right now. I assume most parts of my life will be the same, but then I realize how much I assume. Any minor (or major) thing could happen in the next 199 days and change my life’s direction. Then again, nothing much could happen, and I might just consume the next 199 days without even stopping to think about it. Like a daily vitamin, swallowed without care, not even noticed until the bottle is empty.

Do we ever stop to count the miniscule ways we use up life every day? The vitamin bottle seems so full right now, with only yesterday’s vitamin missing. Tonight, I’ll take the second of 200 and the bottle will get just slightly lighter. The fullness is lessening before my eyes. Just barely, but it is.

How many more vitamins are in my proverbial bottle? How many more days do I have left? How will I spend those precious days? I hope wisely. With passion, conviction, joy, love for God and my family.

I wonder, do I think about endings more often than most people, because of the tragic endings I’ve had in my life? Or does anyone else think about this kind of stuff too?

23: Write a Recap of This Year

This task on our Christmas Countdown feels a little redundant since I kind of already did a "look back" in this post last September. That focused on a lot of the positive things that happened this year. I glossed over some of the negative, but the truth is there wasn't anything overly devastating that happened this year except for Grandmother's death.

This may sound awful and it's not meant to belittle Grandmother's life, but out of the deaths I've experienced in my immediate family, Grandmother's was the least jarring of all. Maybe because she was 94 and lived such an amazing life, and my other family members died so young or with many years left to live. Grandmother's death is still sad to me and makes me grieve, especially since I've spent 35 years of my life with her alive and always just assumed she'd be there. It's hard to say goodbye to such a large life such as hers. Yet as my sadness flows in, it quickly draws back because I remember the blessing I was given to spend a week with her before she died.

Even the "downs" of this past year still have an "up" to them, if I choose to see them.

When I look back at this year, the overall sense I get is a warm glow. I am blessed to have this feeling, since I know some people's 2009 has been a void of despair. But I know that the years in my past that have been voids of despair were also years of tremendous personal growth. They brought me to where I am today, and gave me the ability to see hope in the midst of deep pain. It doesn't mean I'm putting blinders on and ignoring the negative, it just means that I'm choosing to see the silver lining more than the cloud.

There were some definite joys for me this year, and I want to take those joys and keep running with them in 2010. For example, I connected so deeply with my extended family on my father's side during the week with Grandmother, at her funeral, and also during our family reunion in July. I want 2010 to bring a deeper bond with my family, especially since my original family nucleus is gone. (Well, except for you, Mary. Ha, ha!)

I also want to continue growing my faith in 2010. My leap of faith on Good Friday and my baptism in June were just the beginning. In just the last month, God has shown me in so many ways that I am on the right path. And, more than that, He's shown me that I'm exactly where I need to be right now. He's calming my urge to just jump forward to the end of the story and challenging me to stay in the moment.

At our church's Thanksgiving Experience at the end of November, we were challenged to give a gift to Jesus this Advent season. The gift I decided to give was a promise to speak more openly about my faith to people IN PERSON, which has been a fear for me. The very next day, an opportunity presented itself and I felt God's nudging to speak unabashedly about His new presence in my life. And since then? I've been continually presented with chances to start speaking openly about my relationship with Jesus. At parties. At a girls' weekend away. At our weekly Advent Conspiracy small groups. And for the first time in my life, I haven't felt embarrassed. I've actually felt more like me, like I'm finally claiming my birthright. I get goosebumps just writing about it, y'all!

So, to recap, I am so looking forward to 2010. I think I am on the cusp of some pretty amazing experiences. Last weekend when Dan drove me through a local park to take snow photos, we were talking about our hopes and dreams for our kids. I told him how excited I am for the kids to be old enough to do some new things with us like camping and traveling. There are so many amazing things I can't wait to show my kids. And then I said, "Do you think God feels that way about us? That maybe He thinks, 'Elizabeth, I love you so much and I can't wait to show you what I have in store for you. It is so cool! I have something so big for you just around the corner.'"

I can't wait either, and I'm looking forward with breathless anticipation.

Click here to read about our last tasks.

One in Ten

I want to be one in ten, just like Angie Smith writes about here. She references Luke 17:19 and the ten lepers that Jesus healed. Only one of them came back to thank Him. Only one.

Do I live my life like that? Do I say thank you enough?

Monday night, I came home at 11:15 after getting the last ingredients for my Thanksgiving dish (my mom's fabulous sweet potato casserole). Before I unloaded the trunk, I stood on the driveway in the quiet. The air was cool but not cold, and the wind blew over me. I heard the tree branches rustle, and I saw my neighbors' dark houses, closed up tight. I stood there and let the breeze be a stand in for God's fingers, caressing me and soothing me. I lifted my face, closed my eyes, and let my heart sing for all the ways He fills it. Even though I was tired. And Dan already had two hours' of sleep on me. And the kids would be up early. And I worry. And I never have enough time. And I feel overwhelmed. And my heart grieves. Still.

And yet, the joy crowds out the emptiness.

I am grateful for the pain and loss and sadness. It has taught me to relish the blessings. And, oh! There are so many:

Dan. Katie. Jackson. Mary. My brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law. My nieces and nephew. A roof over our heads. Food in our pantry. Best friends. Hot water. Chick-fil-A. Laughter. Satin pillowcases. Warm clothes. Literacy. Beauty. Healing. Nail polish. Turkey. Sacrifice. Favorite movies. Craftiness. Christmas cards. Computers. Music. Jesus. Building forts. Wrestling and tickling the kids. Loyal people. Passion. Windsor Crossing. Becoming adopted kids and grandkids of extended family. Amazing memories. Being able to get out of bed much easier this Thanksgiving than last year. Knowledge. Creativity. Mercy and grace.

I am one in ten. He has made me well!

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

"The God of Christianity never claims to be fair. He goes beyond fair. The Bible teaches that he decided not to give us what we deserve -- that's mercy. In addition, God decided to give us exactly what we don't deserve -- we call that grace." (Andy Stanley, How Good is Good Enough?)

Need. To. Blog.

I have nothing really to write about. But also, so much to say. I feel like I need to catch y'all up on my life, but there are so many details that I can't pick just one. So I'm just going to write and see what comes out. Feel free to move on to something else if this bores you to tears.

Looked at some old videos tonight. Heard my mom's voice again. Then my dad's. And then my grandmother's. The only voice missing was my brother's.

I've been thinking about all four of them the last few days, listening to music that reminds me of them, wondering how happy they are in heaven. It all got me thinking about a project I want to work on to honor my brother's memory. There are at least 15 kids (that I know of) who were named after him. I'd like to figure out a way to tie those boys together and help them learn more about their namesake, so I'm working on contacting those families and piecing something together.

While looking at those old videos tonight, I came across one of Katie when she was about two and a half. Let's see if I can get it to upload here. (You'll have to pause the music on my blog sidebar to hear this.)


Oh, dear God, can time have passed that quickly? That child is absolutely adorable. There is NO way she is the same sassy pants that lives with us now. Right? Uh... wrong. She's still pretty darn adorable (see the photo below), although she is wiser and knows how to turn it off and on. Ha. (And if THAT sense of payback doesn't make my parents happy in heaven, I don't know what will!)

I never mentioned that I took Katie to the City Museum again while she was on cycle break from school. Oh, boy. It was so much fun. We played with clay and cut snowflakes and climbed and drove a bus off the side of the building and jumped through fountains and dove in ball pits and took more than 300 photos. It. Was. Awesome. I just went and looked through all of the photos so I could decide which ones to share with you here. Turns out I can't decide. And since I don't want to write a separate post solely on the City Museum again, I'll pick just this one. It is a perfect representation of our day.

Also took Katie to a nearby pumpkin patch before her break ended. The best part of the visit was this corn box (like a sandbox). I personally could have stayed there all day just playing with corn. It was like a meditation garden.

Two other recent outings with Katie: apple picking and a day camp (both with her Girl Scout troop). I've had lots of one-on-one time with her, which has been great.

Jackson and I have gotten back into our groove now that Katie is back in school. It started out a little rough, though. He got strep last week and it passed on to Dan, but we are all fine now. I've never had strep (that I can remember), and neither have my kids, so this was a new experience for me. I think Jackson also had an ear infection, but the antibiotics seem to have cleared everything up. He's back to being his squirrelly, wily self.

Grandma is taking Katie to see the movie Where the Wild Things Are tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous for her, because I think it might be a little on the dark and scary side. She gets scared when she watches Scooby Doo sometimes. I made both her and Grandma promise that if she gets scared, they will leave the movie. (I don't want to deal with nightmares.)

I'm working on some craft ideas right now, and experimenting to come up with some good Christmas presents. My brain is kind of scattered as I feel my creative side try to tug the rest of me over to full-time crafting.

So... enough rambling for now. I'll end with a photo we took on Wednesday as we were all snuggling in the LoveSac. Yes, I know it's a little blurry. But when you're operating with a remote control and trying to get all four of us smiling at once, this is the best you get. You should have seen the ones from when Dan had the remote and decided to make goofy faces behind our backs.

Have a good weekend.

And to my sister... happy birthday! I am so glad you are in my life. I wish I could be there to celebrate with you. Maybe we'd even go skydiving again. This photo always makes me smile, because you look so great and so happy. I love you!

Who Needs a Dining Room Anyway?

I've been busy with a new project this week. It's been brewing in my mind since I read this post by Jodie about her atelier. (I have NO IDEA what that fancy word really means, so I'm just gonna call it a craft room.) I decided I am tired of having one-fourth of our first floor living space blocked off because it's full of family heirlooms and breakables. And I was tired of all our craft supplies being stored in a jam-packed kitchen cabinet where we couldn't find anything at all.

Just the other night, Katie had homework to do and I told her to find a pencil in her craft cabinet. She opened it and a stack of papers fell out onto her, and I gave up. I went to Wal-Mart and just bought her a new pack of pencils instead of having to dig through the chaos to find one we already had.

It's time to change, y'all. Who needs a dining room anyway? It's silly to have that entire room gated off just so I can use it once a year IF we host a holiday dinner with my extended in-laws. So I boxed up all the silver and crystal and moved it to the basement. We moved the heirloom dining room chairs to the attic in favor of "trashable" folding chairs. Then I boxed up some other stuff I haven't used in years and donated it. (And, never fear, my friends and family. The awesome portrait of my brother has been moved to the upstairs hallway. It did NOT go into storage. Perish the thought!)

Here's what the room looked like before. I'm kind of embarrassed to show it to you because it looks so messy and junky. But, remember, this was my "safe room" (or my staging area, as my friend Michelle likes to call her dining room too), and I kept things on the table that I didn't want the kids to touch. And then I locked the door and reinforced the baby gate and kept everyone OUT. So... here are the before shots:

Wednesday was a half day of school for Katie. When Jackson went down for his nap, she and I set to work on boxing the heirlooms and clearing out space. We had to take a break at one point so I could explain to her why Grandmama was inside the china cabinet (her cremains, y'all... not "her"). That was a tear-jerker conversation to have with my six-year-old. A tear-jerker for me, not really her. The little girl inside me rebelled at the thought of having to explain loss and cremation to her, hearing, "It's not fair that my mom is gone!" inside my head. And it's also not fair that I have so many examples of death to compare - Steeley or Gran Boot's burials versus Uncle Jackson and Grandmama's cremations. Ugh. But it's a fact of my life, and, therefore, a fact of hers.

So... back to the craft room. We worked at it all day and finally got things moved into the room by my bedtime that night. There are still lots of details for us to tackle: spreading out the rug I bought, moving more craft supplies up from the basement, delivering the LARGE plexiglass that we bought for the dining room table, and assembling a cabinet to go between the windows (which will hold Mommy's craft supplies!). But the craft room is officially functional and ungated and open for little hands.

Jackson was the first to create in the newly-repurposed room. He painted on Thursday, and enjoyed himself immensely.

Maybe I'll show you some more photos once we've broken in the new room and I have everything hanging up, all the drawers labelled, the rug laid and the cabinet assembled. And one day? Oh, yes... I plan to get rid of that grape border and paint the darn room too. But that'll have to wait a bit. Too many other things on my plate! It has felt good to purge, so there are some other projects on the horizon too.

Love Now

I started my day by watching this video this morning. It is inspiring! It makes me want to live fully and deeply and wildly. Note: You'll need to pause the music player on my blog sidebar before you watch this video.



Today, Katie and I are headed to my family reunion. Tomorrow would have been my grandmother's 95th birthday, so my family is celebrating together. I'll post details when I return!

Virginia

The end of our Jamaica trip meant the beginning of an incredibly tense overnight drive to Virginia for Grandmother's funeral. We knew that time was against us, and that we needed to get on the road ASAP in order to make it to Virginia by 11am on Tuesday. It was an estimated 10.5 hour drive, and Virginia is an hour ahead of Missouri. So if our flight landed at 11:04pm and we didn't get on the road until 12am, we wouldn't make the funeral in time. Panic!

We landed in St. Louis on Monday night, May 11. Thank the Lord that our flight was 30 minutes early! Customs took a while, and a suitcase jammed the baggage carousel. I was trying not to implode from the anxiety I was having about getting our drive started, and did very well thankyouverymuch.

We got our bags and ran out of the airport and met Poppy and Katie. Poppy had driven our minivan, which Grandma had loaded it with everything we needed for our drive. We were on Interstate 70 at 11:36pm. Katie was buzzing about seeing us again, and we were happy to see her too. But I also had dread in my gut from the drive ahead of us. Finally we settled down and Katie fell asleep around midnight. I couldn't sleep at first, then finally crashed at 12:30am. Dan woke me at 1:30am and said he couldn't go any farther. We stopped for gas and a potty break, then I drove from 1:50am until about 6am. It. Was. DIFFICULT. I spent the first hour in silence, just praying and talking over my anxieties with God. I laid everything in His hands, and knew that we would make it to the funeral in time if He and I worked as a team.

After the first hour, I put one earbud in and listened to my iPod. I wiggled as quietly as I could to the music, and lip-synced the words. I hit a wall around 4am and told myself if I could just make it 30 more minutes, I'd be alright and Dan would have enough sleep to drive. Once I hit 4:30, the first wisps of sunlight were dawning, and the hope of seeing the sunrise kept me awake with no problem. I got my second wind after the sun rose and made it until we had to refuel after 6am (7am Eastern time now).

We grabbed fast food breakfast, switched drivers and I nestled in to sleep. Katie was awake by now, after only 5.5 hours of sleep. Ouch! As I was finally drifting off to sleep, she announced that she had to THROW UP. Luckily I am a person who takes barf bags from planes to keep in the car, and I had one for her to use. She did her business while I held the bag, then put it at my feet until we stopped again. No, I wasn't going to stop and waste our precious minutes on dumping barf!

Dan hit rush hour traffic in West Virginia and some road closures, but I got another hour of sleep and then gave up. About 50 miles outside of Lexington, I climbed in the back and pulled out our funeral clothes. I got Katie dressed and then myself, and we stopped at a gas station in Lexington so Dan could change. I drove the last few miles to VMI, where Grandmother's funeral was being held at JM Hall.

We pulled up right in front of the church at 10:57am. (!!!) My sister saw us and threw her arms up in the air in joy, and we hopped out of the car and hugged everyone. Dan ran off with the other pallbearers, and we lined up to begin the procession into the church. Can you believe it?! And NOW you know why I say it was in God's hands. He saw us safely through, and we made it when - by all accounts - we shouldn't have.

The funeral was solemn and full of Grandmother's favorite Scripture and hymns. My voice cracked on "How Great Thou Art" because it was a favorite of Mom's too. We left the church and went to Stonewall Jackson Cemetery for the graveside service. I think I was still somewhat jacked up on adrenaline from our road trip, and hadn't fully comprehended everything yet. But it finally came crashing down on me when we sat at the graveside and the preacher spoke about grief and how God comforts us like a mother comforts her child. I choked on that because of the realization that I have no grandmother, mother, father or brother anymore.

Even in the midst of my grief over my immediate family, I always felt comforted by the fact that I wasn't "last in line" because my Grandmother was still alive. But sitting at the graveside and knowing that isn't true anymore hit me like a ton of bricks. When the preacher finished, my uncles pulled roses out of the casket spray and handed them to the ladies. They said Grandmother wanted that. My sister asked for two extra to put on Dad and Jackson's graves.

And my heart seized up. Oh my God. My dad and brother are here too, in the ground. In the midst of all the turmoil and focus on Grandmother at the graveside, it had slipped my mind that Dad and Jackson were buried there too. I asked Katie to come with me and we would put flowers on their graves, which were right above Grandmother's. That's when my tears overflowed and I couldn't see and I started into the "sup-sups." (That's what my aunt used to call the ugly cry.) I was trying to gain control when an uncle told me they were going to open the casket for me and my cousin to see Grandmother. (We had missed the visitation.) Oh, I wasn't prepared for that.

They opened the casket and I saw her. I cringed at first because it wasn't her. I turned away but my sister guided me back over. I started really crying and had to turn away again because I was embarrassed that people could see me. I realized Katie was watching it all too, and it was upsetting her. At this point, I couldn't do much to console her, so Dan held her and then came to me when my cousin comforted Katie. After a few moments, it was time to close the casket so I went to Grandmother one last time. I kissed my fingers and placed them on her cheek and told her I love her. Sometime around then the bagpipes started playing Amazing Grace and it choked me up again. "Too much, too much!" I kept thinking to myself. The casket was closed and it was over.

We left the cemetery and went back to VMI for the reception. After that, we checked in to our hotel and I showered while Dan took a nap. Katie and I rode with my sister to Grandmother's house, where the family gathered for the evening. I entered the house and had another big meltdown as I walked through the rooms, mourning the life that used to fill the house. It reminded me of saying goodbye to my childhood home, which brought up lots of deep emotions. And I could still see Dad dancing in the den, doing this silly Charlie Chaplin routine. I remembered that Frank, Grandmother's third husband (and the one I considered my grandfather), had died in their bedroom. And I saw mementos from my brother. It took me about 20 minutes to regain my composure before I could join the family upstairs. Yes, I know I was tired from the trip and physically exhausted. Those were contributing factors. But all the grief I avoided thinking about in Jamaica was catching up with me too. It was rough.

The silver lining is this: I was with my family (a motley but fun bunch) and got to catch up on their lives, toast to Grandmother, and listen to some hilarious stories and family lore. I told one or two too. I could almost feel Dad's presence in the room, and all those who are no longer with us. Grief is painful, but I've found comfort in my family in times like these.

The night ended and it took us a good 15 minutes to hug each other goodbye.

The next morning, we had breakfast with my sister and nieces and then went to visit the cemetery one last time. When I visit Dad, I always tuck a golden coin into the ground around his grave. I didn't have a chance to find my usual golden coin before the trip, so we had to use a Jamaican coin instead. It had gold banding around a silver center, so I figured it was sufficient. I showed it to Katie and she helped me bury it.

We got in the car and began our 11 hour trip back to Missouri. It was another long drive, but so wonderful to see Jackson again. I could tell he missed us. He kept coming up to us and saying, "Guess what? I missed you."

Home sweet home.

P.S. By the way, I'm not trying to bore the heck out of the 3 blog readers I have. I know I've posted two very long descriptions of my life lately and it might be tedious reading. However, this blog is a way for me to chronicle everything in our family's life. Thanks for sticking with me through all the details!

Jamaica

Here's the short version:
We stayed up late every night. We slept in every morning. We ate three meals a day, and sometimes four. We swam in the pool and the beach. We kayaked and sailed and glass-bottom-boated. We sat a lot. We climbed steps A LOT. We had massages and intimate candlelight dinners. We danced. We sang every night. We exercised. (Yes! Even on vacation! Some more than me.) We napped. We made new friends from all over the world. We got sunburned. We rekindled our passions. We had the time of our lives. And we never stopped smiling. Want the long version? Here you go!
We had no idea where were were going in Jamaica until we arrived at the St. Louis airport. We had signed up for the Couples Resort's "Secret Rendezvous." Couples has four all-inclusive resorts in Jamaica, and we knew we would end up at one of them but didn't know which one. We found out we were going to Couples Sans Souci, which is about a two hour drive (eastwards) from the Montego Bay Airport. I was excited, but kind of a little ho-hum because out of all four resorts, this was ranked last on my list. Our travel agent had told us it was a quiet resort, so I thought maybe it wouldn't be much fun. Then again, I knew that I needed quiet and rest away from the kids. And, besides, I couldn't complain because it IS Jamaica after all!

When we landed in Jamaica, the first time my heart skipped a beat was when a Couples employee found out we had been to Jamaica before. He greeted us with, "Welcome home!" And I finally exhaled.

The sun had already set that Monday night, so we were driven to the resort in the dark. We arrived and were given champagne as we checked in at the front desk. We couldn't see much in the dark, but our rooms seemed pretty nice. We dropped our bags off there and wandered to the beach to try and get some dinner. It was around 9pm and we were hungry! Turns out the late night restaurants weren't open yet, and the other ones had already closed. So we went back to Beth and Sean's room and ordered room service. The guys watched TV in the room while Beth and I sat on the balcony. Our dinner arrived, then we ventured up to the Balloon Bar and found what would become Dan's favorite feature of the entire resort: a piano man! We sang along with him for a little bit, then explored the grounds some more and headed to bed.

Tuesday morning, Dan and I woke and he decided to work out on the treadmill. I did some reading and ordered breakfast to our room for him to share with me when he got back. We ate on our balcony and finally got to see the view from our room. It was lush and green and you could see the ocean down below, peeking through the trees.

We went to the pool, where Beth and Sean had already started their days with a trivia game - led by the Social Director Miguel.
After a few hours of relaxing, we had lunch on the beach and then swam in the ocean. Dan decided to take me on a kayak, with the strict rule that I was not allowed to paddle. My job was just to sit and relax. After our kayak, we went to the lobby to make reservations for the week. The guys took the upper hand and made all our plans for the week, so Beth and I didn't have to bother with a thing. What a treat! Afterwards, we went to the beach and I took a nap while Dan got to know the bartender. I woke at 6:00 when I heard a saxophone starting. I grabbed my camera and captured the saxophonist playing in the sunset. It. Took. My. Breath. Away.

That night was the resort's weekly Beach Party. The food was more local, like jerk pork and roasted sweet potatoes (which were white, not the orange I'm used to) and slaw and fire-roasted peanuts. The entertainment was a fashion show by the social directors and a steel drum band.

We woke Wednesday and BOTH decided to work out. Dan did the treadmill while I took a kickboxing class. I hadn't eaten breakfast (bad idea) and it was very hot and humid already (another bad thing), and the instructor kicked my butt. Halfway through the class, I turned to see Beth and Sean watching me from the comfort of their balcony. Grrrr! The one nice part was the view of the ocean in the exercise mirrors. Who can get angry while seeing that?!

Once class was over and I had regained feeling in my limbs, I went to watch the staff feed Charlie. He's the sea turtle that lives in a grotto at the resort. He's more than 100 years old and he is HUGE. He swam out and ate conch and seaweed and I snapped lots of photos.

Dan and I had breakfast at a restaurant this time, the Palazzina. My favorite was the crispy bacon, French toast, and the omelet bar. Yummy! After stuffing ourselves, we went to the mineral pool to watch Beth and Sean get their butts kicked by the exercise instructor for water aerobics.
The poolside bar served only fruit smoothies (non-alcoholic), and also some canned beer. (Guinness for Dan!) Dan and I found a shady spot under a gazebo with four adirondack chairs, and Beth and Sean joined us when their workout was over. We sat in that gazebo for at least two hours, just watching the ocean and feeling the breeze blow over us. It was heavenly.

Lunch was a late one at the Palazzina again (with a have-it-custom-made-for-you Caesar salad bar!) and then lounging at the pool. We met a great couple from Wales, who are both veterinarians. We played water volleyball, and then Dan and Sean joined in beach volleyball until it was time for us to shower and then watch the sunset at the other beach.

Dan and I had reservations for the “fancy” restaurant called Ristorante Casanova. It was an amazing meal with lobster bisque, a seafood kebab for me and oxtail ravioli for Dan. Between courses, the pianist came to play in the dining room. Dan stood up, extended his hand to me, and, even though there wasn't a dance floor, he waltzed me around the room. You know when someone says they are "drunk on love?" Sounds cheesy, right? Well, it isn't. That man had me head over heels in love with him. All over again. And the icing on the cake? DESSERT! They served my very favorite, creme brulee. Did I mention "heavenly" yet?

We met up with Beth and Sean after dinner and listened to a live reggae band. There was dancing and singing, finished up with karaoke. Dan even sang with me!

Around this time, I was having serious glute and hamstring pain from my kickboxing class, but the bartender's special ("Leighton's Rainbow") helped with that.

Thursday morning, Beth and I had breakfast (bacon and French toast!) while the boys played tennis. We spent the rest of the morning laying under a palm tree on this upper "beach," then swam in the mineral pool again. We had a late lunch at the beach grill, then left for a two-hour shopping trip in Ocho Rios that was planned by the boys. It was just enough time to see the touristy souvenir shops, buy some Cuban cigars and t-shirts, and check out the Burger King advertisements.

When we returned, we went straight to the Balloon Bar to wet our whistles before showering and having another romantic dinner. This one didn't involve dancing and had a much slower waitstaff, but it was still very tasty. We headed back to the Balloon Bar and listened to another live band before our favorite piano man Trevor started performing. Our new Welsh friends joined us for the singalong, and we were up until 1am.

Friday's breakfast was more bacon and French toast (surprise!), then a ride in the resort's glass bottom boat. Dan opted out, so I tagged along with Beth and Sean. We saw lots of coral, fish, and even a sunken ship. And we got to float by Bryan Adams' beach house. Not too shabby!

I met Dan on the beach afterwards and we sat quietly together and read, then swam in the pool. All four of us had couples' massages scheduled for Friday afternoon. Dan and I enjoyed ours immensely. Isn't the inside of the massage hut gorgeous? Imagine laying there, getting a rubdown and hearing the waves crashing below. Heaven!

We had another late lunch at the beach grill, followed by beach volleyball and another visit to sunset beach.

That night was the resort's weekly Starlight Gala. Buffet stations are set up under twinkling lights on the resort lawn by the beach, and we stuffed ourselves with food and danced a bit.

The party continued on the sunset beach that night, where the boys enjoyed their Cubans. We ended up at the Balloon Bar again that night, before bed at 2am.

Saturday morning was our usual breakfast (Bacon! French toast!), then we went in search of Dan's missing sunglasses. We couldn't find them, so we gave up and joined Beth and Sean at the pool. Then I remembered a backup pair I had in the room, so I went to get them. The maid was in our room, and she told me I just missed a call from my sister. My heart dropped into my stomach as it took forever for me to dial the long distance code to call her back. I already knew what the call was about, so Mary answered with tears and "Are you okay?" I made her tell me for sure that Grandmother had died. Mary told me that she was there when it happened, less than 30 minutes earlier. I cried and the maid couldn't quite figure out how to handle me. Mary told me the tentative funeral plans, then we hung up (it cost $2 a minute, so I couldn't cry much to her) and I found the sunglasses, thanked the maid and left the room. I stepped outside to my view of paradise, which was obscured by tears in my eyes. I stumbled down the stairs and got to the pool. Beth knew what had happened the moment she saw me, and I confirmed it. I tried to yell for Dan across the pool, but couldn't. Beth called him for me and he and Sean came over and heard the news.

We spent the next three hours trying to contact the travel agent in the States to change our return flight. It was extremely frustrating, because we found out that toll free numbers don't work on resort phones nor on Beth's cell phone. Finally we got on the Internet and couldn't find any flights that were less than $1,000 per person. We decided to check Mapquest and found that the drive from St. Louis to Lexington, Virginia was 10.5 hours. If we took our original flight that would land in St. Louis at 11:04pm on Monday night, we could drive to Lexington and arrive by the 11am funeral on Tuesday morning. Even though there was a one hour time difference, we figured it was our best bet to get there.

My heart was heavy and it was hard to enjoy the rest of Saturday. At one point, I sat by the pool and the realization hit that Grandmother was finally reunited with her parents, beloved brothers, four husbands, daughter, son, and grandson. I cried while Dan held my hand, and I watched life move on and the palm trees sway in the ocean breeze.

After a while, Dan and Sean decided to go sailing and so I got my camera out as a distraction. I took photos of them and some of the great scenery.

Katie had given us her stuffed bear (Apple Bear) to take on our trip with us. I promised her some photos of him on his wild adventure, so I got him out and took photos for her too.

The boys enjoyed beach volleyball again, then everyone cleaned up and I got to play photographer for a little while. Here are some of my favorites:

We had dinner at Bella Vista on the beach, then singing at the Balloon Bar again. (Have you noticed a pattern yet?) After a late night swim, we were in bed at 2am.

Sunday was our last "real" day in Jamaica, since Monday would be busy with our departure. It was also Mother's Day. After checking email for any funeral updates, we spent the day in our usual way: Bacon! French toast! Pool! Late lunch! Beach volleyball! Sunset! And Dan took me sailing (with the Watersports guide Clayton) too. The boys planned special dinners for us that night. After watching the sun set, Dan walked me to the spa gazebo where a private candlelight dinner was set up for us.

The gazebo is set on a cliff above the ocean, so we could hear the waves crash and the breeze cooled us somewhat. I was still blazing hot, so I stole ice from the champagne bucket and put it on my toes. That helped! Our own personal waiter (with the cool name of Blackstock) brought us water, wine and champagne, then a shrimp appetizer, lobster bisque, salad, and surf and turf entrees. Dessert was a chocolate number that was, of course, heavenly. Dan danced with me under the gazebo, and gave me a Mother's Day card. My heart was peaceful and happy.

We met Beth and Sean in the mineral grotto afterwards, and dipped our feet in to cool off for a while. The evening ended at the Balloon Bar singalong with the piano man, and we squeezed every ounce of joy out of the last night in Jamaica.

I woke Monday morning with anxiety attacks as I started thinking of our arrival back in the US and our drive to Virginia. We had breakfast (last bacon and French toast), then packed our bags. That helped me feel a little better. We walked the beach, hung out in the resort game room and looked at photos, then had our last lunch at the beach grill before one last moment in the hammock.

Our taxi drove us to the airport, where we shopped (it's like an indoor mall!) and got some American fast food before our flight took off. This was our last view from the plane, and we were sad to see our Jamaican vacation end.