I was president of my mom’s group a few years ago. Every month, our newsletter included a President’s Greeting. It was usually a cheery preview of the month’s upcoming activities. Since I’m not very good at cheery previews, I used the space to write my own personal thoughts on motherhood. I am including these on my blog for my children to read one day.
November 2006: It’s a little cheesy, but I have to admit I’m in love with my husband. Yes, it comes and goes and ebbs and flows; my marriage can sometimes be as cyclical as the seasons. But for all the venting and griping I may do about him, I truly am in love with him. How could I ever be the person I am without him in my life? There is no way, absolutely no way, that I could be the parent, friend, woman or human being I am without his support and friendship. Simply put, he believes in me, and that sustains me.
Just tonight I was so very tired of hearing Katie grump at me for the umpteenth time today. I tagged out with Dan and went to another room to mentally zone out for a moment before trying to tackle the issue of a three-year-old schizophrenic in my house. As I walked out of the room, I caught myself saying, under my breath, “Thank you, God, for my husband.” I truly meant it as a prayer of thanksgiving.
It reminds me of the first few months after Katie’s birth. As most of you know, I had postpartum depression. There were days I was hanging by a thread, and the one thing that helped me was a ritual I made Dan perform every single night. I made him hold my face in his hands and say, “It’s going to be okay. We’re going to get through this.” It was the one thing that kept me grounded during an awful time. Up until that point, I thought marriage was the hardest thing I’d ever done. Then I became a mommy, and the entire dynamic of our marriage changed. I fell in love with Dan on a daily basis, watching him be tender and sweet. It still makes my heart sing to watch him and Katie.
How do single parents do it? For that matter, I know some of you have husbands who travel constantly, and you are raising your children single-handedly some weeks. My hat is off to you. I know that without my husband by my side, I would be ungrounded and floundering. You think I’m crazy now? Ha!
So, this November, the month of Thanksgiving, as a group of mommies let’s say thank you to the daddies in our lives who make our hearts sing. And if your husband isn’t making your heart sing very often these days, if your cyclical marriage is having a little hiccup like they sometimes do, then I hope you invest some time in each other and find the joy and support in the man you chose as your life partner.