Together Again

Something miraculous happened in my dream last night: my dad came back to me. I don’t remember much besides a few odd details (I was in a cafeteria and didn’t know anyone?), but I do remember feeling alone and out of place. Then from my right side, I heard his voice. And I turned and he was right there, swooping in to hug me. He was in a wheelchair (another odd detail in the dream), but was 100% healthy and looked like he did before cancer emaciated him.

I threw myself into his arms and hugged him, and he hugged me back. We were both laughing and happy. It was a true reunion, in every sense of the word. We were together again.

And that’s all I can remember from the dream. Which is fine, because that’s all I need to remember anyway. The truth is I forgot about the dream until later this morning, as I was emptying the dishwasher and it all flooded back into my mind. It is possible to feel joy and sadness at the same time; I felt so happy to “be” with Dad and then missed him all over again as I remembered I’m not with him physically any longer. But one day, I will be.

This photo was taken by a friend almost exactly seven years ago to this day. It was at a surprise party for my 30th birthday. I was surprised, of course, to see a room full of friends and my in-laws. And then, in the back corner, I saw him. My dad. He had traveled all the way to Missouri to surprise me. I flew into his arms and held on so tight, and cried. For me, this photo gives me a glimpse into heaven, when I’ll be reunited with those I miss Every. Single. Day.

“Now we are free and we shall see you again.  But not yet.  Not yet.” from Gladiator