Monday, October 26, 2009

Thirteen Years

Athlete - Black Swan Song on MUZU.

Today is the 13th anniversary of my brother Jackson's death. I wrote about it here last year, and included a video with photos from his life. There's also a bit of his story here. I'd love for you to go see these links and help me remember him today. When my friends and family remember him with me, it soothes my soul and helps me feel close to him again.

The video above is the music video for the song "Black Swan Song" by Athlete. Please watch it. (You'll have to pause the music on my blog sidebar first.) I saw it on Randall's blog, and had to share it today because it reminds me so much of Jackson. There's the obvious connection because there is a soldier in the video and my brother was a soldier also. But when I heard these specific lyrics, tears flowed down my face:
"Though many battles I have won
I lost too many friends I could count on
And I know they'll be the first to welcome me
When I parachute into eternity"

My dad told me once that when Jackson was sick and death looked like a real possibility for him, he talked to Dad about his fears of dying. I am not sure of the exact details of the conversation since it was between the two of them, but I do know Dad reassured Jackson by reminding him of the first time he ever jumped out of a plane when he was a soldier. He pointed out that jumping was incredibly scary because he had never done it before and didn't know what to expect. But Jackson conquered it and went on to complete many more parachute jumps. Dad told Jackson that death is like that. It's scary because you haven't done it before, but you have to jump with faith and know that you will come through it all okay.

When I heard those song lyrics, I thought of Jackson parachuting into eternity and being welcome into Jesus' open arms. And, one day, the same will happen for me. My heart jumps at the thought of a reunion party. How bittersweet.


Melissa said...

Thinking of you today, sending my love and prayers.

Donna said...

Hey Elizabeth

I read all the back story that you posted about your brother and I just sat here with tears streaming down my face. I am the youngest...and have 3 older brothers so I know exactly what its like growing up the way you did with your brother. I understand how losing someone so close to you often feels so raw even after years have elapsed but that testimony to your love for him and what he meant to you. I will keep you in my prayers this week....and your brother too!

Charity said...

Thinking of you. I love that Parachuting analogy.. Hope you got my quotes I sent you recently and that you liked them too.

Gretchen said...

I'm sorry about the loss of your brother. I've lost far too many people I love far too soon and it never goes away. I hope you have peace knowing he's waiting for you now.


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