Spilled Milk

Last Wednesday morning, Jackson spilled his cup of milk inside the refrigerator as we were walking out the door for the day.

Thursday morning, he spilled his bowl of cereal milk in his lap and on his chair and on the kitchen floor.

This morning (Tuesday), he spilled his milk on a stool and trash can behind his chair.

I sent him to time out so I could clean up the mess and fume about three! days! in! a! row! of spills. Once I calmed down (time out is sometimes more for me than for him), I walked over to talk to him about these recent spills. The first time I tried to talk, he got mad (I think he was ashamed) and rolled away from me and wouldn’t face me. I walked away to give him more time. The second time, he growled at me while I was talking. The third time, he gave me got rigid legs and whining. The fourth time, there was eye rolling but we worked through it eventually.

After 30 minutes of time out (four attempts at trying to parole him), we walked to the kitchen table where I had set up props so he could practice carrying his bowl from the table to the sink without spills. We spent five minutes practicing, and then went back to the morning routine of packing lunches and bags. THIRTY-FIVE MINUTES TOTAL.

As he packed, I rested my forehead on the back door and prayed for patience. I had a moment of clarity and finally realized why I always feel like I never have enough time: it’s because the time I do have is sucked away in attempts to teach my monkeys how to act like civilized human beings.

So when you come to my house and there are crumbs everywhere, and we’re eating microwaved chicken nuggets instead of a real cooked meal, and there are toys strewn about, AND the floor is sticky from all the spilled milk… know it’s because I’ve spent my time raising productive members of society instead of trying to be a housekeeper.

This parenting thing is so exhausting some days. Sheesh.

So Much to Say

It’s been quiet here at Six Golden Coins. Way too quiet for my liking! You must know how very much I dislike that. I can’t tell you how many posts I’ve started on the laptop inside my brain in the last ten weeks. I want to share the day-to-day details of my life (craft projects and cute things the kids say and photos of the beauty around me), as well as the deep and profound changes my soul has undergone lately. There is so much to say and not enough time to say it.

Right now, I am busy simply trying to find balance in my life. My new job is wonderful and challenging and life-changing all at once, but it has thrown my life completely off center. I struggle to find time to do what I used to do in half the time, plus figure out how to still be a wife and mother (the working mother mommy guilt has sharp nails that scratch at my confidence). Throw in the other mundane flotsam of life (laundry, groceries, cooking – ha! – and trying to stay on top of balancing my checkbook), and I’m stretched thin. Oh, and there are these “little” things like a crashed computer and two hugely major events at work in the last ten weeks (one of them being Easter! At! A! Church! Job!). I hardly know which end is up some days.

But I do know this: it will slow down. It gets easier every day. And more than anything, I have learned stronger boundaries and what really shouldn’t make it on my list anyway. Sorry to say that blogging, while it is a true creative outlet for me, isn’t at the top of my list. I love it. I miss it. And I will be back to it. But right now, it’s in line behind these things:

Sumo wrestling on the front lawn.

Pie night.

Watching my boy finally master pumping his own swing.

Getting to know some awesome coworkers.

Standing in the front row, worshiping the One who makes me who I am.

Pink toenails for the birthday boy.

Thirty seconds in the ticket blaster.

Creations by the best amateur balloon guy in town.

An arena full of Girl Scout chaos. (Which, now that I think of it, should have been WAY down on the priority list. Sheesh!)

Stroking this sweet little nose that we are pet sitting.

And doing my tiny little part to make this happen at my church.

For now, blogging will just have to wait. I’ll squeeze it in when I have a few stolen moments (or feel like I’m really gonna burst and MUST. WRITE. NOW.), but this time of my life is a season of boundaries: learning, practicing, and strengthening them.

I’m not very far away, and I’ll be back soon!

Twenty Years

Their courtship was a little tumultuous. There were tears and breakups, then infatuation all over again. I watched her try to mend her heart over and over, and couldn’t understand why she kept going back to him if he kept breaking her heart. I was a teenager and didn’t quite get the concept of love, and how agony can coexist with ecstasy.

The day they got married, I was convinced he was going to break her heart again sometime down the road. I even went up to him and told him (in my most threatening 18-year-old girl’s voice) that I’d kill him if he broke her heart. Then we smiled and walked down the aisle, and I witnessed them make their marriage vows.

In the last twenty years, I’ve watched them grow and learn how to be a husband and wife and then a mother and father. Their marriage has actually become a model for my own in some ways. I have truly enjoyed watching them become new people together. Today, he has grown into someone I admire deeply. Imagine that! A man I thought would do nothing more than scar her heart has become someone whose advice I seek and who makes me laugh more than anyone I’ve ever known.

Twenty years ago today, my sister became a wife. I also gained a brother who has guided me and taught me so many things.

Happy anniversary, Mary and Wally! I am so proud to celebrate with you!