Friendship (September 2006)

I was president of my mom’s group a few years ago. Every month, our newsletter included a President’s Greeting. It was usually a cheery preview of the month’s upcoming activities. Since I’m not very good at cheery previews, I used the space to write my own personal thoughts on motherhood. I am including these on my blog for my children to read one day.

September 2006: Remember when we were girls and friendship meant having the same favorite color or song, or liking the same boy? It was so easy then, wasn’t it? I watch Katie make new friends so easily. She just walks up to them and says, “My name is Katie. What’s your name?” And then they chase each other or go climb or slide. That’s all it takes!

Now that I’m grown-up, it isn’t that easy anymore. Authentic, true friendship takes a lot of work. And, sometimes, if you’re lucky, you find a friend who knows you almost as well as you know you! And if you’re really lucky, you find more than one friend like that.

I feel lucky like that. Yep, sounds a bit cheesy once I write it down! But I feel like ever since I started this new voyage of motherhood, I have been blessed to be a part of this group of mothers. I’ve found women who I normally wouldn’t bond with in the “regular” world, but somehow they are my closest friends in this group. Part of that is because my definition of bonding has changed. It used to be I was friends with the closest cubicle-mate. Now my criteria for a friend and acquaintance is someone who can relate to venting and temper tantrums (both mine and Katie’s!). And I’ve become good friends with people who have seen my breast in public while I so desperately tried nursing those first few times. And my best friends have become people who I see often and who care enough to pick up the phone and call me after a rough day at the park chasing Katie. Those “best” friendships take a little more work, but they are so worth it!

Thank you to each of you for filling those roles, in whatever different way that you do. You feed my soul and each others’ souls by finding ways to relate within our group, even though sometimes it takes a little more work. Thank you for finding ways to become each others’ acquaintances and friends, and, if you’ve been lucky, maybe even best friends.