Six Golden Coins

Finally

2012-01-24T08:00:00.000-06:00

About two years ago, I started getting this little longing in my heart. I squashed it for a bit, sure that it was totally unattainable and never going to happen. But it didn’t go away. I decided to let it settle in and burrow into my heart. Eventually, I let it become a dream.

I prayed over that little dream, and those prayers became the water and sunlight my dream needed to take root. The longing-turned-dream quickly became a plan I worked out in my heart. I became a little more courageous, and shared the dream with Dan and a close friend. When they didn’t scoff at my dream, I got a little more confidence and realized the dream might one day become a reality.

So I started telling God exactly how I wanted that dream to take shape. In short, I stopped praying and started demanding. All of a sudden my dream was a great idea, and I had the timing all worked out so God could make my dream come true. Then I felt Him pulling the reins a bit, tugging me back and settling me down. “Woah, horsey!” I realized He wasn’t killing my dream; He was simply tempering my passion until it aligned with His purpose.

And finally, today, that purpose and passion are being united. I am starting a new job, working at my church. It’s a longing that has become reality. I feel so humbled – and overwhelmed at the same time – to see how God has taken that little longing and used it to change my life.

I could write a never-ending paragraph full of one-word sentences describing the mix of emotions I feel: excited. Scared. Amazed. Self conscious. Unsure. Awed. But none of those solitary words come close to crystallizing what I am feeling. The only one that slightly does it justice is this:

LOVED.

The fact that God loves me enough to listen to my longings (which I know He placed in my heart to begin with!), soothe my fears, redeem my unworthiness, and make me someone who can be useful in His kingdom… WOW. How do I respond to something like that?

You, my Father, are a prize worthy of every struggle and loss I’ve ever endured. Your love is soothing and tender and covers my insecurities. I think back on all those years I spent not knowing about this kind of love, and wish I hadn’t been such a fool to waste Your precious light. Yet, I know those years were not without purpose. You used them to bring me back home to You. Thank You for pursuing me, for never giving up on me, and for wanting to dance with me. Stay beside me, walk close to me, lead me! …as I start this new chapter of my life. Show me how to worship You in new ways. It’s all for You, Jesus. You make me worthy and lovable and usable. Thank You for making FINALLY happen.

“It’s amazing in the blink of an eye, you finally see the light.” (Aerosmith, “Amazing”)

On My Mind

2012-01-21T23:53:00.001-06:00

I sat down at least three times in the last few days, intending to write and simply catch my blog up on life in our house. For some reason, I don’t know where to start so I just don’t start at all. That’s silly, because it means I might miss the life that takes place every day. So, I’m just gonna start writing and see where it takes me. Here are the things on my mind.

First, my computer is making blogging hard for me lately. I think my memory is getting full, and the computer is slow to respond. I think it’s time for a routine checkup. Ugh.

I decided not to have a new year resolution this year. Instead, I have a goal of taking twelve photos (one a month) that will push me to try new techniques. One of the first tasks on my Photography Bucket List is to take a photo of a snowflake. I was inspired by this post on Candelions that I read last year. When it snowed here a week ago, I had my first attempt at a snowflake photo. I learned a few things and want to try again for a better photo, but so far this isn’t too bad:

These are snowflakes that fell on my car’s bumper. Next time, I have a better plan in mind.

In December each year, my cousin sends a potted amaryllis to me and my sister. It’s something our mom used to do for us, and our cousin has assumed the responsibility of doing it now. My amaryllis has bloomed twice already. I got out my new macro lens filter (isn’t it pretty?)…

…and tried some close up photos of the amaryllis. The white flower looked lovely in the afternoon light.

I also got close to a droplet I spied after watering the plant. It looked like a glass marble to me.

When I bought my first digital SLR camera, I had no idea how much photography would speak to my soul. It still makes me laugh that I can take 37 photos of the same exact water droplet, and get such joy in it.

This next photo gives me lots of joy too. I found this scrap of paper in Katie’s backpack, and it makes me laugh to read it again. It says:

The Secret Snow Day Ceremony:
1. Put your pj's on backward.
2. Put white socks on your hands.
3. Wave your socky hands up high and chant: "Snow, snow do not stop. Pretty please with whip cream on top."
4. Throw your pillow and try to catch it with your head 3 times.
5. Go to sleep upside down.

I love watching Katie’s imagination and pure innocence take shape. When I asked her about the scrap of paper, she said she read about the ceremony in a book. I haven’t caught her doing a “socky hand chant” yet, but you better believe I’m going to try and videotape it if I do!

There are a few other things rolling around in my head, but they’re going to have to wait until I can dedicate an entire blog post to them. Big changes are on the way… and they deserve a devoted post! Let’s hope I can find time to do it right. But for now, it’s late and I have a DANuary commitment to uphold. Good night!

Doubting Myself

2012-01-11T15:27:00.001-06:00

Fantastic news (that I can’t yet share publicly) has brought incredible joy AND FEAR to the last 24 hours. I am so very afraid, and full of doubts about myself and my abilities to perform and be valuable. I could hardly fall asleep last night, trying to work through the logistics in my head. Today, I have spent literally every other minute questioning and wondering and doubting some more.

I am in a constant fight to STOP listening to the voice in my head. Notice I said “stop listening,” not silence. There’s a reason why: I know that voice isn’t going to shut up anytime soon. Call it insecurity or Satan (aren’t they one in the same anyway?), but it’s on continual replay. My job – and my prayer – is to stop listening to it and turn my attention on the One who makes me who I am.

Jesus. I am calling on Him today, saying his name out loud and asking for His protection. And I know for a fact He hears me.

At the breakfast table, I picked up the Our Daily Bread devotional booklet and the day’s reading is about what kind of skill set we bring to the jobs in our lives. This quote was written specifically for me, specifically for TODAY: “If God has something He wants to accomplish and that you feel He is calling you to do, He will provide what you need to complete the task.” (Cindy Hess Kasper)

Trust that, Elizabeth. Know that He is providing for you even when you think you’re at a dead end. You are more than enough, child, because you don’t accomplish anything on your own. When you fall short, He makes the payment for you. Always, ALWAYS. Rejoice in that, rejoice in new beginnings, and trust His will for your life.

Laura’s Wedding

2012-01-05T08:00:00.000-06:00

My friend from church, Laura, got married on New Year’s Eve. She asked me to photograph the wedding and I agreed. Sometimes I question my own judgment, especially when I take on something as momentous as a wedding. I stressed a lot leading up to it, bought a new piece of gear to try and assure success, then prayed before it started and left it in God’s hands.

God was good to me and I was blessed to have Dan as my second shooter. Yippee! Here are some of my favorite photos from the night. Yes, I know there are a lot of diamond ring photos, but I couldn’t get over how gorgeous her ring is!

The bride and groom met on a church mission trip to Russian. This nesting doll with the ring on her head is a nod to that.

I loved Laura’s deep red roses.

They were a beautiful contrast to her white dress and the bridesmaids’ black dresses.

Laura and her husband also have a passion for motorcycles. Like the mini wheel I used under the rings?

This mustache is a sort of inside joke from the team we work on together at our church. I HAD to bring it for Laura to use at her wedding!

The church has beautiful windows and architecture. Laura’s silhouette was perfectly framed.

The sanctuary was stunning with the stained glass windows and Christmas decorations.

My wonderful second shooter captured this from the balcony.

The bride and groom were glowing.

I love a bride and groom who will put on their motorcycle gear for a photo!

Yummy cookies after the wedding! A sweet ending…

DANuary

2012-01-04T15:40:00.001-06:00

The month of Danuary has returned to our house! And, no, that isn’t a typo. It’s really Danuary with a “D” because it’s a month I like to devote to my husband Dan.

As best as I can recollect, this was an idea I started for our anniversary in December 2008. I have always tried to be creative with the anniversary gifts I select for Dan, but it’s hard for two reasons: 1) He’s a guy and guys don’t get typical gifts like diamond anniversary bands, and 2) Our anniversary is two days before Christmas, for Pete’s sake!

In the past, Dan has given me a one-size-fits-all anniversary gift idea. He said I should just buy some lingerie and, well… you know. (This IS a family blog, y’all!) So in 2008, my brilliant idea was to give him thirty days of, well… you know. (I’ve never discussed this on the blog, and probably never will again. But it DOES serve a purpose right now, besides embarrassing my sweet husband.)

We quickly dubbed the thirty days “Danuary,” since it would encompass the month following our anniversary. It stuck, and has become a repeat present four years in a row.

HALT! Before you go getting all “ewww” and all “THIRTY days for FOUR years in a row?!!!”, let me explain. The original Danuary was wonderful and all (that’s the only detail I will ever publish), but we learned a lesson from it the following year: sometimes spontaneous is better. Our goal for 2009 was two weeks, but it didn’t go as well as the first year.

In 2010, I changed it up a bit. I had gotten a laptop and was becoming more attached to it than I was to Dan in the evenings. I would (and often still do) stay up after he went to bed, surfing the Internets and wasting time while the man I loved went to bed alone. For a girl who once looked forward to marriage simply so I could have someone to sleep beside, this routine needed to change. So for our anniversary in December 2010, I promised to spend Danuary 2011 unplugged. That was defined as: 1) Not using the computer when Dan was home (evenings and weekends), and 2) Go to bed when Dan did. It was a hard – but wonderful! – month; hard to get my computer work done when he wasn’t home, but a wonderful way to spend Danuary and to honor our marriage with a sweet anniversary gift.

With all that explanation out of the way, I know you’re wondering what the anniversary gift was this past December. And now I’ll tell you!

Dan and I went to dinner at our new favorite restaurant (The Tavern Kitchen and Bar – if you live in St. Louis, you should GO!), and I gave him three gifts.

The first was a three ring binder, with all the ticket stubs we’ve collected over the years organized into chronological order. I love having a visual reminder of so many fun times we’ve shared. It’s also cool to see the ticket stubs where we started doing things with our kids.

The first ticket in the binder is from the second concert I ever attended: Aerosmith in 1988. Yes, I know this ticket wasn’t from an event I attended WITH Dan. But it’s still part of the fabric of our lives, so every ticket stub I found was included in the binder. (And, yes, those are the ticket stubs from when I saw Rain Man, The Land Before Time, and Dream Team. Ha!)

The second gift I gave him was a book. It’s called Night Light, and it’s a devotional for couples to read together (written by a couple too). I started reading it out loud to Dan at bedtime this week, and it’s been nice to make time for each other. Of course, this means I have to go to bed when he does, so that’s the second part of Danuary.

The last gift I gave him was one I wanted to write about in this post about voice recordings, but couldn’t spoil the surprise for Dan. Now that he’s received it, I can spill the beans! I recorded the entire month of January from Jesus Calling for him on a cassette. I recited each day’s devotion into my cheapo cassette recorder, and personalized it by adding Dan’s name to whatever Jesus is saying to him that day. This gift is a way for Dan to commune with Jesus, as well as hear my voice to encourage him each morning while he commutes to work.

You know our family is 100% invested in the Advent Conspiracy movement, but it’s so much more than a Christmas thing for me. Changing how we do Christmas (especially the gift-giving) has changed how I look at gifts the rest of the year. I want to give gifts of presenCE, even for my anniversary. I hope this inspires you to do something similar. And I hope each of you have a wonderful and blessed DANuary too!

P.S. Feel free to change it up a bit. A friend of mine, whose husband is named Larry, gave the gift of FebruLARRY one year. I’ve also heard of MARKch from another friend. Let me know if you come up with your own!

Looking Back

2012-01-01T15:51:00.001-06:00

It’s impossible for me to start a new year without taking a moment to pause and look back at the path that got me here. In planning for the coming year at Six Golden Coins, I have taken a look back at the changes that I’ve chronicled through this blog. I want to show you a visual representation of those changes.

First, we started the blog with this header in 2008:

This was the header I used through part of 2009 and 2010:

You will recognize this header because it’s the one I used up until today:

And, ta-da! Here’s the new header for 2012:

Since 2005, I’ve started the new year by selecting a verse from scripture. I use that verse to mediate on and guide me throughout the year. Here are the verses from the past years. I underlined the parts that I worked to inscribe on my heart that year.

2005: “God does all these things to a man—twice, even three times— to turn back his soul from the pit, that the light of life may shine on him. Pay attention, Job, and listen to me; be silent, and I will speak. If you have anything to say, answer me; speak up, for I want you to be cleared. But if not, then listen to me; be silent, and I will teach you wisdom.” (Job 33:29-33)
2006: “Look at the fig tree and all the trees. When they sprout leaves, you can see for yourselves and know that summer is near. Even so, when you see these things happening, you know that the kingdom of God is near. I tell you the truth, this generation will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened. Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.”
2007: “I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see him with my own eyes—I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me!” (Job 19:25-27)
2008: “The Lord is my shepherd; I have everything I need. He lets me rest in fields of green grass and leads me to quiet pools of fresh water. He gives me new strength. He guides me in the right paths, as he has promised. Even if I go through the deepest darkness, I will not be afraid, Lord, for you are with me. Your shepherd’s rod and staff protect me. You prepare a banquet for me, where all my enemies can see me; you welcome me as an honored guest and fill my cup to the brim. I know that your goodness and love will be with me all my life; and your house will be my home as long as I live.” (Psalm 23:1, GNT)
2009: “The Lord’s unfailing love and mercy still continue. Fresh as the morning, as sure as the sunrise.” (Lamentations 3:22-23)
2010: “On your feet now - applaud God! Bring a gift of laughter, sing yourselves into his presence. Know this: God is God, and God, God. He made us; we didn't make him. We're his people, his well-tended sheep. Enter with the password: ‘Thank you!’ Make yourselves at home, talking praise. Thank him. Worship him. For God is sheer beauty, all-generous in love, loyal always and ever.” (Psalm 100:1-5, MSG)
2011: “He existed before everything and holds everything together.” (Colossians 1:17)

In selecting my verse for 2012, I wasn’t sure where to start. In years past, it’s been a crap shoot on how I select a verse. In 2005, I challenged God to speak directly to me and flipped through the Bible with my eyes closed. Whatever verse my finger landed on was the verse I knew He wanted me to hold dear that year. I had just completed 2004, the year my mother died, and knew that 2005 might bring my father’s death as well. When my finger fell on Job 33, I knew God was telling me that it wouldn’t be long until Dad died. But I also knew God was telling me He would stay beside me, and His light would shine even when the darkness of grief descended on me. He was faithful, and 2005 was a dark year – full of Light.

This year, I didn’t do the crap shoot of sticking my finger randomly in the Bible. Instead, I went through a list of verses I’ve been texting daily to a group of people, and found 2 Corinthians 5:7. It says, “For we live by faith, not by sight.” After seeing the miracles of baptism that happened in my family’s lives this past year, I felt like this verse was a good guide for 2012. I included it on my blog header, and I am praying God will whisper it to me throughout the year.

When the highs and lows and dark days happen in 2012, I pray He will remind me to live by what my heart believes and not by what my eyes see.

I would *love* for you to take a moment and leave a comment for me. Please tell me what Scripture speaks directly to you and why. Is it a verse that might guide you this year, or one that has guided you in years past? Thanks for sharing it with me.

Dessert Gala

2011-12-27T15:52:00.001-06:00

I participated in something really fun this Christmas season. Last year I was the guest at one of these, and this year I got to be a hostess. It’s a Dessert Gala, and the idea is for hostesses to decorate a table with their Christmas-themed tablescapes. The hostess provides a dessert for the evening, and the church provides a program with entertainment.

When I first heard about the Dessert Gala at a nearby church where I was taking a Bible study class, I asked my friend Michelle if she would host a table with me. She agreed, and we started discussing our theme and dessert ideas. I told Michelle I wanted to have a table that was kind of counter-cultural to the glitz and glamour of the holiday season, and that I’d like to focus it on the Advent Conspiracy movement. Here’s our table turned out.

We kept the design of the table simplified and minimalistic, to remind us how our Savior arrived: not in the flash of glitter, crystal and china, but in the quiet, unobtrusive moments. It’s the same way He seeks us today. He reminds us to glow with His love instead of focusing on the glam and glitter of the world around us.
The single candle in the center of the table represents His one true light, and the solitary way we are invited to spend eternity with our Maker: by letting His light shine in our souls.
A small nativity set in the middle of the table represented His humble arrival in our world.
We chose plates made from palm leaves to remind us how Christmas and Easter are intertwined.

There were seven seats at our table. Two of the seats were for me and Michelle. Two more were reserved for women who were assigned to our table by the event planners. The remaining three seats were for guests Michelle and I could invite. We asked three women from our Bible study class. Each place setting had the guest’s name printed on a white paper bag that sat on top of the palm leaf plates. The lady’s name was imbedded in a line from scripture. Inside the gift bag was a mix of party favors for each woman. Here’s what we included:

A sampling of Advent Conspiracy gift ideas to encourage the ladies to “give presence, not presents this Christmas.”
A blank blank gift certificate that can be filled out for a loved one and given as a gift of time and presence.
A CD of piano music by a friend who is pianist. Music is one of the best ways I know to worship God and praise His holiness.
A vial of water to represent clean water, something we take for granted. So many people in our world do not have clean water, but we can easily give it to them through supporting charities like Living Water International.
A Living Water bracelet that can be worn as the ladies finish Christmas shopping. Let it remind you to spend just a little less this year so you can give more to those who have nothing.
A booklet listing 25 different names of Jesus. “When the holiday season gets stressful and crazy, open this booklet and find one of Jesus’ names that speaks to you. Meditate on it.”
Yahweh Hebrew name cards: God is a personal god, and even goes as far as to invite us into a first-name basis relationship. In the book of Isaiah, God tells us His name is Yahweh. The name Yahweh is both holy and intimate – so holy that we aren’t even sure exactly how to pronounce it. It is as commonplace and revered as the sound it mimics: our very breaths. Scripture tells us that God breathed us into life, so we use that very breath to say His name. Cover your ears and listen to the sound your lungs make as you inhale and then exhale. That’s the closest we can come to knowing the true pronunciation of Yahweh.
The stone coasters under the coffee cups were hand-stamped with clocks. They were gifts to the ladies, and reminders to give gifts of time and self this Christmas.

The desserts we served were chosen to reflect delicacies from ancient times: a traditional honey cake made from a Jewish recipe, fig and goat cheese crostini to represent the Mediterranean diet, and chocolate covered strawberries to satisfy our modern sweet tooth.

I’m sure you’re curious to see how some of the other tables were decorated, so here are some more photos to enjoy!

Here with Us

2011-12-25T08:00:00.002-06:00

It's still a mystery to me

That the hands of God could be so small,

How tiny fingers reaching in the night

Were the very hands that measured the sky

Hallelujah, hallelujah

Heaven's love reaching down to save the world

Hallelujah, hallelujah

Son of God, Servant King,

You're here with us

It's still a mystery to me, oh,

How His infant eyes have seen the dawn of time

How His ears have heard an angel's symphony,

But still Mary had to rock her Savior to sleep

Hallelujah, hallelujah

Heaven's love reaching down to save the world

Hallelujah, hallelujah

Son of God, Servant King

Here with us

You're here with us

Jesus the Christ, born in Bethlehem

A baby born to save, to save the souls of man

Hallelujah, hallelujah

Heaven's love reaching down to save the world

Hallelujah, hallelujah

Son of God, Servant King

You're here with us

(“Here with Us” by Joy Williams)

Sweet Sixteen

2011-12-23T08:00:00.000-06:00

Marriage has certain qualities of contract, in which two people take on the housekeeping tasks of living, together, to enhance life's joy. However, marriage is more than a contract. Marriage is commitment to take that joy deep, deeper than happiness, deep into the discovery of who you most truly are. It is a commitment to a spiritual journey, to a life of becoming—in which joy can comprehend despair, running through rivers of pain into joy again. And thus marriage is even deeper than commitment. It is a covenant—a covenant that says: I love you. I trust you. I will be there for you when you are hurting. And when I am hurting, I will not leave. It is a covenant, not to provide haven from pain or from anger and sorrow. Life offers no such haven. Instead, marriage is intended to provide a sanctuary safe enough to risk loving, to risk living and sharing from the center of oneself. This is worth everything. (Margaret A. Keip)

It is certainly true that every man ought to love and cherish his wife, and every woman should love and cherish her husband: for he is her beginning. (A merchant of Paris “On Love and Marriage” c. 1393)

Marriage is somewhat like undertaking a Lego project without instructions. (Ammunni Bala Subramanian)

Marriage is like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle--all sky. (Cathy Ladman)

One advantage of marriage, it seems to me, is that when you fall out of love with him, or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you maybe fall in love again. (Judith Viorst)

Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated, often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes between them. (Sydney Smith)

A great marriage is not when the "perfect couple" comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences. (Dave Meurer)

Happy 16th anniversary to my soul mate. I love you, Dan! You make me a better person and I still can’t believe that I get to be your wife.

Giving PresenCE – Personalized Devotional Book

2011-12-20T16:08:00.001-06:00

Our family participates in the [Advent Conspiracy]. The four tenants of [AC] are Worship Fully, Spend Less, Give More, and Love All. For the past few years, we’ve been trying to find creative ways to give Christmas gifts that are gifts of presence, not just a present. In the days leading up to Christmas, I’ll be sharing some of these ideas with you.

Each morning, my alarm goes off and the sound of the city’s Christian radio station fills my room. I turn on my bedside lamp then I grab my phone. I read a scripture text that my neighbor sends me every morning, then I turn to my Jesus Calling app and read the day’s devotion from Jesus. The Jesus Calling book and phone app have changed my morning quiet times with God. I feel like He is with me, more tangibly that I’ve ever felt.

When I find something that works so well for me, I can’t help but pass it along to someone else. Recently, I bought a copy of Jesus Calling for a friend of mine. I flipped through the pages, found some of my favorite devotions, and wrote a note to my friend on that day’s page. I also looked up other important days in her life (like her birthday), and wrote a note about my love for her on those days as well. I’ve been doing the same thing for years as a Christmas gift for my sister. I buy her the coming year’s Daily Guideposts, and I write a letter inside the front cover and sometimes add notes on different days throughout the year.

Back to this Christmas… Some mornings, Katie crawls in to bed with me and lays beside me while I read my devotion. Once, she told me she wanted her own Jesus Calling. So for Christmas, guess what’s she getting?

I bought Katie a copy of Jesus Calling for Kids, and did the same thing for her that I did for my friend. I opened the book and wrote notes to my girl, in hopes of encouraging her on her own walk with God.

This gift is a gift of presenCE because it lets Katie know she is thought of and cared for every single day – by me and the God who adores her.

Giving PresenCE – Voice Recordings

2011-12-19T08:00:00.000-06:00

When my nieces were visiting for Thanksgiving this year, we pulled out old photos and home movies to watch together. The girls (who are now 13 and almost 17) got a HUGE kick out of watching themselves when they were toddlers, and listening to the silly things they used to say. As I watched the girls watch themselves, I remembered a box of cassette tapes I have in the basement. Somewhere in that box is a recording of conversations I had with my oldest niece, Hannah, when she was about two years old. Also in that box is a recording of my mom (her grandmother), teaching her to recite the poem Twas the Night Before Christmas. I dug the box out, found the cassettes, and spent some time listening to them. The next time I was at Walmart, I did something I haven’t done in at least a decade: I bought a two-pack of cassettes! I transferred the recordings to a new tape, and I’m sending the cassette to my 17-year-old niece for Christmas. A recording of her talking with her deceased grandmother is a pretty priceless gift, and I hope she enjoys listening to it.

Want some other ideas on how to use your voice to give someone love? Here’s one: in the December 2011 issue of Real Simple magazine, there was a column asking readers the best gift they’ve ever given. One woman wrote this: “I recorded 30 of my favorite recipes onto an audio cassette so my mother, who suffered from macular degeneration, could try them. I included everything from chicken Marsala to cakes and cookies. She used it until her death, a decade later.” What a fantastic idea.

I’ve also used our cassette player to record messages to Dan from the kids. Periodically, we record some sort of silly song, personal interview, or greeting for Dan. We keep adding to this tape, so he has a record of their voices from very young to current times. Dan’s car still has a cassette player, and I leave the cassette on his dashboard sometimes before he leaves for work. He listens to the newest recording during his commute.

Oh, and while we’re talking cool ideas to do with recordings of your voice, how about leaving a voice mail for your loved one at work or on their cell phone? Call when you know they won’t answer, and leave a message about why you love them or what they mean to you. You could call on the day of an important meeting and record a prayer to encourage them. Or for a year-long Christmas gift, make a standing appointment on your calendar every Sunday night in the new year and leave a good morning message to greet your loved one first thing on Monday mornings.

Now back to my nieces and one of the other priceless gifts I’m sending them. They are at the age where they want cash or gift cards for Christmas. I’m sending them envelopes with some cash to satisfy their spending urges a little, but I’m not sending as much as I have in years past. I’m setting some aside so I can send the girls Living Water International gift cards.

These gifts are pretty cool, because the recipient gets to go online and choose how the money is spent. The back of the card says, “When you redeem this gift card, you get to choose what part of the world it changes. Celebrate Christmas the way God did. Redeem!”

And THAT is a pretty awesome way to celebrate Christmas.

Giving PresenCE – Shadow Puppet Kit

2011-12-17T08:00:00.000-06:00

I am so very excited to give this gift to my kids this Christmas!

They really love anything to do with lights: flashlights, glow sticks, night lights, and making shadow puppets on their walls. I decided to make the mega treasure trove of light for them: a shadow puppet kit. It has lots of different elements.

First, it started with this link I saw for a shadow puppet kit. I knew I could make my own inexpensively, so I did. I used craft foam with adhesive on the back, and cut out the shapes I wanted. Two of the shapes are silhouettes of my kids’ heads. I sandwiched a wooden skewer (the kind you use for cooking kabobs) between the two sheets of foam, then stuck them together.

I also found some cool flashlights that have attachments to create shadow projections. This Cars one was about $6 at Walgreens.

This space flashlight was about $5 at Cracker Barrel.

And this Halloween flashlight was $1 when holiday clearance prices were in effect.

I found a pack of fingertip flashlights for $1 at the Dollar Tree. They are cool because the lights attach to your fingers, so you can have a whole light show going on with just one hand!

These flashlights were already in our stash from an event at our church a year or so ago. I corralled them into an empty peanut butter jar.

I found these battery-powered “glow sticks” at my favorite store, Leftovers.

And I found a pack of Celebration Lights at Michaels craft store. I think they are about $6 or more, but I used my 40% off coupon and got them at a discount. They are small enough to fit inside a balloon. I’m sure the kids will enjoy playing with illuminated balloons! (Who wouldn’t?!)

I put everything together in a wicker “treasure” trunk I inherited from my grandmother’s house after she died.

The most exciting piece of this gift is something Santa is bringing the kids. (Yes, he told me this!) They are asking for a Doodle Dome, which is a tent that has glow material on the inside. The kids can get in the tent and draw with lights to make it glow.

I can’t wait to turn off the lights, hang out with the kids, and have some awesome shadow puppet shows. I hope Christmas Day is really dark!

P.S. I apologize for the poor lighting in these photos. I had to take them in the basement near the gift stash, while the kids were occupied somewhere else. It’s hard to be sneaky and hide gifts around Christmas!

Forty Years of Photos

2011-12-15T08:00:00.000-06:00

Six months ago, I bought a Groupon to have 1,000 photos scanned. Actually, I bought TWO of those Groupons, for a total of 2,000 photos to scan. When Mom died in 2004, I inherited the albums she compiled of photos from 1963 to 2003. That’s forty years of photos, which means LOTS of images to scan and a job I didn’t really want to do myself.

It has taken me almost the entire six months to compile the photos I mailed last week for scanning. The 1,400 photos from Mom’s albums were easy to weed out, but the remaining 600 of my own photos were hard to corral from dusty boxes in the basement. The bulk of my time was spent putting them in chronological order, and guessing what year they were taken based on my hairstyle in photos.

When I shipped these two boxes off last week, I said a prayer that they wouldn’t get lost in the mail (perish the thought!) and a prayer of gratitude that my parents left a beautiful monument of memories for their children and grandchildren to enjoy.

Giving PresenCE – Personalized Game Pieces

2011-12-14T08:00:00.000-06:00

I have been wanting to make personalized game pieces since I saw this post at stitch/craft last year. It has taken me all year to do so, but I finally did it! Here are the ones I made with photos of my family members.

I did another set of faces for the kids.

It was really easy to make these. I printed photos onto cardstock and cut them into shapes, with a little bit extra at the bottom to use as a “post.” I glued another of the same photo on the back, to make them double-sided. I cut a slit into a bottle lid (like the kind you use for a water bottle or a plastic Coke bottle), then slid the photo into the slit. That’s it!

I made a second set of game pieces, using photos of LEGO people I found online by Googling LEGO images. I printed these, cut them into rectangular shapes, glued another on the back, then attached a binder clip to the bottom. I removed the binder clip prongs, and now the pieces stand on their own. I think these are good backup pieces in case we have a friend over who plays a board game and we don’t have a photo piece for him to use.

These game pieces are gifts of presence because they encourage us to spend time as a family hanging out and playing board games.

Life in Quotes

2011-12-13T15:20:00.001-06:00

There are some struggles I’ve been having lately… well, more than lately. Some have been going on for a few months, and others go back farther than that. I will never use my blog as a place to air dirty laundry, so I am not going into details. But I cannot gloss over the fact that these situations are changing me as a person, and I feel God calling me to respond in ways I would have never responded in the past. He is teaching me about a new life and about redemption, and mostly about trusting HIM and not the enemy.

I have found some beautiful ways of understanding His will for me, by reading His words in all kinds of different places: in the Bible, in Christian authors’ writings, and in quotes of famous people. Here are some that have been speaking to my heart and hammering me over the head.

“So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper.” (James 4:7 MSG)
“Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you. I've called your name. You're mine.” (Isaiah 43:1 MSG)
“A flattering neighbor is up to no good; he's probably planning to take advantage of you.” (Proverbs 29:5 MSG)
“Do not be surprised by the fiery attacks on your mind. When you struggle to find Me and to live in My Peace, don’t let discouragement set in. You are engaged in massive warfare, spiritually speaking. The evil one abhors your closeness to Me, and his demonic underlings are determined to destroy our intimacy. When you find yourself in the thick of battle, call upon My Name: ‘Jesus, help me!’ At that instant, the battle becomes Mine; your role is simply to trust Me as I fight for you.” (Sarah Young, Jesus Calling, December 3)
“Be willing to go out on a limb with Me. If that is where I am leading you, it is the safest place to be. Your desire to live a risk-free life is a form of unbelief. Your longing to live close to Me is at odds with your attempts to minimize risk. You are approaching a crossroads in your journey. In order to follow Me wholeheartedly, you must relinquish your tendency to play it safe.” (Sarah Young, Jesus Calling, December 9)
“My true brother and sister and mother are those who do what God wants. Mark 3:35 Does Jesus have anything to say about dealing with difficult relatives? You may not be aware that Jesus had brothers and sisters. And it may surprise you to know that his family was less than perfect. Yet he didn't try to control his family's behavior, nor did he let their behavior control his. He didn't demand that they agree with him. He didn't sulk when they insulted him. He didn't make it his mission to try to please them.” (Max Lucado)
“Instead of personalizing the things that happen to us we need to stop and ask a very important question: Is what the other person did a reflection on me or the other person? Etch the answer on your brain: people's actions are always a reflection of who they are. When someone treats you badly (or nicely), that is a statement about who he is as a human being, not a statement about you. People act the way they do because of who they are, not because of who we are.” (Dr. Chris Thurman)
“We can't control the way our family responds to us. When it comes to the behavior of others towards us, our hands are tied. We have to move beyond the naive expectation that if we do good, people will treat us right. The fact is they may and they may not... Let God give you what your family doesn't. If your earthly father doesn't affirm you, then let your heavenly Father take his place... And don't lose heart. God still changes families.” (Max Lucado)
“At some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life.”
“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.” (Winston Churchill)
“I am thankful for the difficult people in my life. They have shown me exactly who I don’t want to be.”

And, lastly, this is a quote from a book I started reading with a Bible study group back in September. The quote STILL sticks with me, months later. “When people are not so easy to love, we depend on the Lord to love them through us. Sometimes God uses the ‘sandpaper people’ in our lives to smooth out some of our own blind spots and help us become a little less self-centered.” (Karol Ladd, A Woman’s Passionate Pursuit of God)

My hope is that these words will help you through some of your own tough times.

An Actual Six Golden Coins Book

2011-12-12T15:36:00.001-06:00

When I come across something that’s really awesome, I really can’t wait to share it with other people. If you know me at all, you know I feel that way about a few things: Jesus, scripture texts, fantastic books, beautiful songs, deep relationships, and nail polish strips. Now I have something else I can’t wait to pass along to you. If you don’t write a blog, this might not excite you quite the way it excited me. Because, OH! It really excited me! Just a few days ago, I received this in the mail:

It’s a book of my blog!!! An old friend of mine sent me an invitation to a website called Blog2Print a while ago, and I decided to treat myself to an early Christmas present. I went to the website, entered my blog address, selected the dates of the posts I wanted to include, and tweaked a few more things. The website then made a document out of my blog posts, and I could choose how I wanted to print it (in full color or black and white, with a soft or hard cover). Then I finalized it all and ordered one for about $25. (The full color version was about $300. Yikes!)

It arrived and I was enthralled with how cool it turned out. I also got to put a photo on the back!

I’ve printed my blog before, but it was seriously labor-intensive. I had to cut and paste each separate blog entry into a Word document, which was printed and bound at Kinko’s. It was a major pain, and the books turned out just okay. These are the 2008 and 2009 books, printed the “old-fashioned” way.

I am WAY more impressed with this new version. And here’s my awesome idea for the rest of you: if you know someone who writes a blog, give them the gift of seeing their blog in print. Or if you personally write your own blog, have your blog printed (or a selection of posts) to give to someone you love, so they can have a physical copy of your labor of love. (Talk about an Advent Conspiracy gift idea of presenCE!!!)

Giving PresenCE – LEGO Necklaces

2011-12-11T08:00:00.000-06:00

My kids *love* LEGOs, just like every other red-blooded American kid I know. When I saw these cute LEGO necklaces at The Long Thread, I couldn’t wait to make one for Katie. And then I decided to make matching mother-daughter LEGO necklaces! Here’s how they turned out.

It really was very easy. I got some LEGOs from the kids’ stash, bought a pack of silver bails at Michaels craft store, and got some E6000 glue. I stuck those bails on the back, and strung them on a ball chain Katie already had, and voila! I’ll be giving the necklaces to Katie in the jewelry box pictured, along with some extra little LEGO pieces so she can change the “jewels” around on her pendant.

How exactly does this necklace set fit into the [Advent Conspiracy] way of gift-giving? First, it’s a gift of a shared interest. (I like playing LEGOs too, you know!) Secondly, it cost me less than $10 to make, so I have money I’ve saved that I can donate to Living Water International. Cheers all around!

Giving PresenCE – Mommy & Me Treats

2011-12-10T15:11:00.001-06:00

One of the most well-known Advent Conspiracy gift ideas around our church involves a bag of coffee. An adult son bought his dad a bag of coffee (fair trade, of course) and gave it to his dad for Christmas. What makes this a gift of presence, you ask? The catch was this: the dad wasn’t allowed to drink the coffee unless it was with his son. The two men spent the next year having coffee regularly, and the son got to know his dad and discuss life with him in a relaxed way.

I’ve always loved that idea, but I couldn’t figure out a way to make it suitable for other ages or relationships. Then I saw this post about making personalized six packs. I decided to tweak it a bit, and came up with this.

It’s an empty cardboard Starbuck’s Frappuccino bottle holder. I covered it with regular white typing paper and glued some strips of red paper on the outside, then added the words “Mommy and Me” and “Treats to eat with me only!” Then I took four empty jelly jars and filled them with four different types of candy (I used Skittles, Mike & Ike, gummy bears, and pretzel M&Ms) and made labels for each jar lid.

I’m giving it to the kids for Christmas, and letting them know it’s only for eating together. Maybe we’ll have a regular game night or a special storytelling afternoon, and gobble up our treats together. The key word in that sentence is (say it with me now): TOGETHER!

Note: I got the jelly jars and cardboard carrier at my favorite place, Leftovers (of course). But it’s easy enough to do on your own with whatever empties you have on hand!

What I’ve Learned

2011-12-06T15:47:00.001-06:00

It’s been one week since my surgery to remove a Morton’s neuroma in my left foot. How am I doing? Much better now, but it was truly an awful week. When I wrote at the end of this post about Jackson barfing in the car, I had NO idea how bad the week was going to get. Jackson got sick at both ends, and I joined him with my own special mixture of medication-induced illness. His lasted much longer than mine: a good five days.

Now that we have come through that trial and on to “relative” health, I am sharing the priceless lessons I learned this week.

I have learned that Zofran (an anti-nausea medication) is a MUST when I take any sort of heavy duty pain medication. Of course, I didn’t learn that until more than 24 hours post surgery. (Ouch.)
Spending the last week off my feet, I learned how fast I speed normally through life. Lately, when I DO walk, I limp along slowly. I realize I need to slow down, although I’d like to walk a *tiny* bit faster than the old ladies at the store.
I learned a lot about friendship. I was homebound and lonely; desperate for companionship. I realized I don’t often give the gift of companionship to my friends when they are down and out. If I don’t give that to others, how can I expect it in return? But, OH! When it was given to me in return by some friends who came to visit, I cherished it and saw it for the true gift it was.
On the sidebar of friendship, I learned how humbling it is to be the receiver of something I can’t possibly pay back. I had three meals delivered, and got a lot of practice saying thank you. My close friends know me well enough to realize I will NOT be making a meal in return, so they know these meals are truly a gift from them. I felt so loved by their cooking!
I already knew this, but just got a refresher on this lesson: I need my husband! He has overextended himself for the last two weeks (Jackson’s surgery, Thanksgiving, and my surgery). He is the only person who will clean up puke with me at 2am, and I am grateful to him for battling in the trenches by my side.
I learned that it is okay to skip a few days of shaving my legs.
And in that same vein, I learned that regular baths don’t cut it for me. I haven’t showered in a week and have had to bathe instead. I can’t wait to shower again!
Watching the sun set on that first night after surgery, while curled up in the recliner, I realized how grateful I am for modern medicine. I am glad I live in a time when ailments can be removed and corrected, medicine can be administered to minimize pain, and sterile environments are available.
Walking around with one foot in a bandage and the other in a regular shoe, I finally have a use for solitary socks who lost their partners in the laundry. I can’t put a sock on the bandaged foot anyway, so matching doesn’t matter!
I know what it’s like to have people stare at me. When I limped through a store or the lobby of the doctor’s office, people broke eye contact as their gaze slid down to my foot. It was an odd feeling to know they were checking me out.
“Next” time I have foot surgery, I should not walk around the house without a shoe on the “healthy” foot. I need to wear a shoe of height equal to the post-surgical boot that’s on the injured foot. Walking crooked can really throw your body off kilter, which makes all kinds of other body parts hurt. My back has been thrown out of whack, and my left leg now has a sciatic ache constantly coursing through it.
I learned that I should polish my toes with a bright color when I have surgery on my foot. Flesh colored polish has a way of making your foot look dead when it’s covered in iodine.
Since this all happened the first week of December, I learned it’s OKAY to let go of some Christmas traditions without the world crashing to a halt. We have less decorations up this year, less daily rituals, and more focus on the traditions that are meaningful. That’s an unexpected byproduct of surgery!
Lastly, I was reminded that I can dig deep when stuff hits the fan. This hasn’t been the hardest struggle I’ve ever faced, but it has been a very trying week. I remembered that the human spirit is resilient, God’s presence never leaves us, and the sunrise can be a reason to rejoice.

All the Last Times

2011-12-05T08:00:00.000-06:00

I have an old Reader’s Digest article on my refrigerator entitled “All the Last Times.” In it, author Sue Diaz writes about how we experience “lasts” without ever realizing it. Firsts are met with big fanfare, like first steps or first potty trips or first teeth. The reason we don’t have fanfare over the Lasts is because we don’t realize it was the last time until later.

I realize I have recently experienced one small Last: Jackson’s last time in the stroller. To understand this, you must realize how often I relied on that darn stroller to corral my son at the zoo, mall, park, and any other event. I buckled him in at ALL times, because he was such a force to be reckoned with. If I didn’t buckle him in, he’d zoom off somewhere before I could blink. The stroller saved my sanity and his life some days!

I haven’t been using the stroller so much lately. Partly because he’s getting a little too big for it, and also because he has gotten a tiny bit more trustworthy at staying by my side. But recently, I had a string of doctor’s appointments he had to attend with me. So I pulled out the stroller again, buckled him in, and contained him for the appointments.

And I think those are the Lasts of which I speak: the last time my son will be in a stroller. I’ve stopped carrying it in the back of my car, which has been soooo nice when I load up after grocery shopping! But it’s a bit weird, to finally have that space back after eight and a half years of being a stroller mama.

And if I’m being honest here, I have to admit I DO miss that darn stroller. Not because it corralled my monkey, but because it provided a place to stash all my odds and ends when we were out and about: the diaper bag, water bottles, lunch box, and snack containers. I can mark the passage of time by the amount of stuff my arms carry on our outings. These days, we’re finally paring back on the packs!

Visual Prayer List

2011-12-03T08:00:00.000-06:00

I saw a link to this idea on Pinterest and was gung ho to make a brand new prayer board too! And then I realized I already have something that will work just fine. We have a framed chalkboard near the back door. Sometimes I write messages on it, or notes to my husband (or he writes to me), or sometimes I write scripture to memorize.

I decided to turn it into our prayer list. I grabbed a pad of Post-It notes, sat down with Katie, and asked her what she prays for. I told her what I pray for, and we added some items to our board. I put a date in the bottom corner of each Post-It note. When each item has answered prayer, I write the answered date on the back and save the Post-It as a visual reminder of how God answers our prayers.

Shower Door into Dry Erase Board

2011-12-02T08:00:00.000-06:00

After Dan took down the old glass shower doors (which I wrote about in this post), I decided to repurpose one of them in the kids’ craft room. I cleaned it really well, mounted it to the wall with some 3M Command Strips, and gave the kids dry erase markers to draw on it.

One of the cool things about it is it isn’t mounted flush against the wall. Since it goes straight to the ground, it has a little gap behind it because of the baseboards at the bottom of our walls. This means there’s enough room between the wall and the glass to put a piece of paper behind it for tracing. In this photo, I used a binder clip to attach a photo of Mickey Mouse from a coloring book.

I traced it, then removed the paper.

The kids have enjoyed drawing on it, wiping it off, and starting over. And I’m glad I got to upcycle something that would have been headed to the dump!

Christmas Countdown

2011-12-01T08:00:00.000-06:00

Today is December 1, which means the start of some annual traditions in our family. Last year was the first time we bought a LEGO Advent calendar. The kids *loved* opening a door every day and putting together a new LEGO creation. When Christmas arrived and all the doors were opened, I had an empty plastic box and decided to hold onto it. I’m glad I did!

I gave it a second life this year by adding some toys to it and making it a new Advent countdown. Katie wrapped the sides and back for me.

Then I took it into hiding and added the toys before covering the holes with two layers of tissue paper. The tissue paper is easy for poking holes in and receiving the countdown toy. I brought it to Katie so I could take a photo of it, and this was the photo I got:

This was the moment she realized (without ANY clues!) what exactly is in each little compartment. She knew just by the sound the box made when she wiggled it. HOW did she get so darn smart?

I’ll let you in on the secret too: each compartment holds a Squinky that I got from a gumball machine. I found a machine that sells the Squinkies (we also call them Squishies) for a quarter each. That means I spent a grand total of $6 for 25 days’ worth of fun. WAY cheaper than the 2011 LEGO Advent calendar! (But don’t worry, I bought the 2011 one as well. I’ll need an extra box for next year, right?!)

November

2011-11-29T21:36:00.001-06:00

Holy schnikes! November has been one jam-packed month. I haven’t updated a lot because I haven’t had TIME to do so! In the interest of keeping my blog up to date (and in trying to NOT bore my three faithful readers to tears!), here’s a recap of my month.

It started on November 2, when Dan demolished the shower in our master bathroom. It was necessary, because the shower tiles had started coming loose a few months ago and we knew water damage was close behind.

After twelve days and LOTS of caulk and time with one of Dan’s best friends, the project was complete and we got to use our new shower! It really looks fantastic and I’m proud of the hard work Dan put into it. And I’m REALLY happy about the money he saved by doing it himself. (Can you believe one of the quotes we received to fix this little shower area was THIRTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS?!!)

And here’s one last shot of the shower, before I move on to another topic. The reason this is important is because it’s typical of DIY projects in our house. Starting way back in 2004, I have been writing messages or quotes underneath and behind the background of projects. This photo shows the wall behind the shower tile, where I wrote scripture about singing (which I often do in the shower!), water, and love. Now when I shower, I remember how Jesus’ blood cleanses my soul while the bath water cleanses my body.

On November 12, I was asked to photograph an event that turned out to be pretty special. My church has a refugee ministry, and they help immigrants who have just arrived in our country and are lost in the new culture and surroundings. Every November, the ministry has a Thanksgiving meal to share our American custom with the refugees. Since most of these families don’t own a nice camera and don’t get family portraits taken, I was asked to photograph the families. At first, I said no because I didn’t have anyone to watch Jackson while I worked the event. The friend who invited me said I should bring Jackson because there were so many kids coming to the dinner too. So I did, and it turned out really well! I got to photograph the multi-national blessing of the meal, which my friend says is what Heaven will look like: so many different people worshiping God together. This photo looks like a bunch of people holding hands around a big room, but it’s so much more than that! It’s Americans and Bhutanese and Burmese and Burundi and Congolese, all asking for blessings from our Creator.

I loved providing a service to the families, but the photographer in me really enjoyed taking photos of so many different ethnic groups, and seeing their inherent beauty.

The very next day, I got another chance to witness worship with my camera. I volunteered to photograph the grand opening of my church’s third location.

The highlight of the day for me – and possibly the closest I’ve ever come to Heaven on Earth – was in taking this photo:

I love God. I love photography. I love Revelation Song. This photo captures all three of those things in one moment. The entire church was worshiping God while the praise band sang Revelation Song and I was capturing it all with my camera. It was a thin spot for me, meaning I felt Heaven in the very air I breathed.

The middle of November brought an end to a Bible study class I’ve been taking since the end of August. I studied a book called A Woman’s Passionate Pursuit of God with about 15 other women. The book is about finding contentment no matter what circumstances you face in life, and was a study of the letter Paul wrote to the Philippians. This class was such a blessing to my life for the 12 weeks I attended. I struggled with some hard things during that time, and met some women who are struggling too. We encouraged each other, helped each other see truth, and I was so moved by the Spirit in this class. I was truly sad to see the class end.

For Dan’s birthday this year, I bought concert tickets to see Chris Tomlin perform. The concert was on November 18, and we had a fantastic date night. Chris Tomlin is an amazing singer, and his songs so beautifully capture God’s heart. Christy Nockels performed with Chris, and a pastor named Louie Giglio spoke too. When it was Louie’s turn to speak, I was kind of bummed because I wanted to hear Chris sing more. But by the time Louie was done, I wished I had a copy of his sermon to hear all over again! He spoke of the Psalms and how God’s creation proclaims His glory: the stars and the creatures join His angels to praise Him. Louie is an astronomy buff and talked about stars emitting unique radio frequencies. He showed us photos of stars and clusters of stars, and let us hear what they sound like. Then he talked about animals, whales specifically. He played clips of the songs whales sing to each other. Then he took the star sounds and whale songs and played them together. The keyboardist came on stage at that point and added a melody, and it turned into the song “How Great is Our God.” The entire crowd stood and sang along with the stars and the whales as we all praised God. It was one of the coolest worship moments I’ve ever witnessed.

Next up in our crazy month of November, my wild little boy had surgery. He has failed five hearing tests since a regular screening in May, and the doctor thinks it’s because of fluid he’s had in his ears for months. The day before Thanksgiving, we took Jackson for surgery to put tubes in his ears. He did very well with the surgery, although we all got pretty impatient since we had to wait two and a half hours for the surgery to start. That’s a long time for a four year old to wait in a sterile environment with an empty stomach! He was his usual goofy self, as you can see in this photo. He was making his favorite face (complete with crossed eyes), and wearing his comfortable Santa costume. As I write this post, it’s been a week since the surgery. We haven’t noticed a huge change in his hearing, except he has covered his ears a few times when there is a loud noise (a child crying or my hair dryer blowing). At bedtime prayers the night of the surgery, he prayed and asked Jesus to “fix my ears.” I told him we already had surgery to fix them, and he responded that he can’t hear anything now. Sometimes he gets his absolutes mixed up, so I think maybe he means he can hear everything now instead of “nothing.”

And then we had Thanksgiving. Dan started brining our turkey and preparing breakfast and dinner casseroles two days in advance, so we had a feast at every meal for four days straight!

However, the best part of Thanksgiving wasn’t the food. More than cheesecake or turkey or leftovers, my favorite part was this:

My sister, brother-in-law, and two nieces arrived the evening of Jackson’s surgery and stayed for four days. The weather was pretty decent on Thursday, so we had their annual family photo shoot. Then we hung out, talked, looked at old photos, watched old family videos (the girls *loved* seeing the videos of themselves when they were two and six), shopped a little, went to church, and ate some MORE. (Ugh!)

The only bad thing about family visiting is when they leave. It makes me so homesick and lonely to say goodbye! Jackson and Katie really miss their cousins and aunt and uncle now too.

The day after Thanksgiving was the culmination of almost three months of work for me and a team of volunteers at my church. We had our annual Thanksgiving Experience event at church, and it was really fantastic this year. The theme was [Worship Fully], which is one of the four tenants of the Advent Conspiracy movement. One of the main doors of the church was turned into a modern “stained glass” panel.

There was a 360 degree video scripture wall.

There was an actual Living Water well pump that pumped video “water” out on a screen, giving participants a chance to feel what it’s like to pump clean water.

We had live musicians, a prayer wall, comic books, an idea station for inexpensive gifts of presence (not presents!) for Christmas, and lots of candles.

It was a really good day, and I was especially happy that my visiting family finally got to go through one of the Experiences that I’ve been telling them about for years now.

Thanksgiving weekend ended with Christmas decorations and Jackson’s first time to put the angel on the tree.

Last but not least, November ended with one more big event. This time, it was surgery for me! I had a Morton’s neuroma removed from my left foot. It happened just earlier today (the day I’m writing this post), and the numbing medicine is just now wearing off, so I haven’t really started getting into the hard part of post-surgery pain. So far, all is well and the worst part was having to sit through TWO blown IVs until the third one finally took. That was extremely agonizing, but the poor nurse felt horrible about it and I know she would have crawled under my bed in shame if she could have.

I am praying for quick healing from the surgery, a chance to get back on my feet without pain once I am released to exercise again, and a quiet and uneventful December!

Oh NO! I was LITERALLY about to hit publish on this post when I heard Dan’s car pull onto our driveway after picking up Jackson from Grandma’s, where he stayed today during my surgery. I heard wailing, then Katie ran into the house and yelled, “Mommy! Jackson barfed!” My poor husband cleaned puke up from all over his car; it was so bad, we decided to just throw the booster seat away and we’ll buy a new one at Walmart tomorrow. I gave the barfy boy a bath, and we’re praying it was just car sickness and nothing worse.

Ten Things Kids Need That Nobody is Trying to Sell

2011-11-29T16:16:00.001-06:00

In October 2005, I attended a class offered by our local Parents As Teachers program. It was called “Ten Things Kids Need That Nobody is Trying to Sell.” I took copious notes and typed them into my computer. I recently came across those notes, and wanted to share them with you here… especially since we are entering the time of year when kids are covered with LOTS of things they don’t need (toys, candy, Christmas presents) and maybe not as much of what they DO need.

1. SLEEP

The average bedtime for kids in America:
- Preschool and primary school-age: 9:30pm
- Middle schoolers: 11pm
- High schoolers: 12-1am
When kids are sleep deprived they are 1) crabby, and 2) have decreased problem-solving abilities. No wonder they get mad and throw a puzzle when they can’t find the right piece! They can’t solve the problem because sleep deprivation prevents you from being able to think from your frontal lobe.
Kids need an 8pm bedtime. If you’re caught out in public with your kids after 8pm, you should be arrested!
Many parents of very young ones say, “She gave up her nap.” If you believe her, you’re saying sleep isn’t important.
There is no study or research that supports the myth that skipping a nap means your child will sleep better at night!

2. GOOD NUTRITION

Obesity is a major problem in America, and in our children.
It’s sad that in America, the top-selling breakfast foods are: Froot Loops, Cocoa Puffs, and Pop Tarts. So bad for you!
We’ve been telling our kids “Eat what tastes good.” Instead, we need to tell them “You have to eat this, it’s good for your body.”
You can’t FORCE your child to eat, but you can give them good options to choose from. Kids can’t go to the store themselves and grocery shop! You do that for them, so do it well.
Watch your child’s portion size, and your own! Your kid is going to want to grow up and eat what Daddy is eating, and you don’t need a double Quarter-Pounder!

3. EXERCISE

Endorphins are good for you and help heal your body. There are only three ways that your body releases them: through a cardiovascular push, belly laughing, and sex.
Your kid isn’t getting endorphins from sex, so you gotta make sure they’re getting them elsewhere!

4. FRESH AIR & SUNSHINE

We’ve raised wimpy kids who don’t go outside because it’s “too hot” or “too cold.” Then take some clothes off, or put some on!
The sun gives your body vitamin D. Vitamin D helps strengthen your kids’ bones.
Sun can be “stored” in your body up to 2 weeks, so even if it’s sunny only one day every 2 weeks, get your kids out there to play in the sun and the effects will last.

5, 6 & 7. DARKNESS, SOLITUDE & SILENCE

It’s good to let your kids be in darkness. If they are afraid of the dark at night time, then you need to empower them to cope with their fears (problem-solving!), don’t just turn on the light for them. Some ideas are making a sign for the bedroom door that says “Monsters Keep Out” or using a magic wand or Monster Spray (hairspray or a spritzer bottle with water inside) to fight off monsters.
It’s okay to let your kids be alone and learn how to entertain themselves. If your child says “I’m bored”, do NOT offer some sort of entertainment as a solution! Say, “Well, you can clean out the basement” or “You can clean your room” as an alternative. Then they’ll find their own entertainment, which makes them increase their creativity levels.
It’s okay to ask for silence in your home or car sometimes. You will not hurt your child’s self-esteem by not answering her questions every time. Children can be told that it’s quiet time!

8. PLAY & LAUGHTER

Kids need play time with adults!
Stanley Greenspan did a study on Floor Time. He found three major things:
- Parents need to get on the floor with their children! Get at their same eye level.
- Let your children direct the play. Men are better at this than women. Women usually say, “Oh, no. The dinosaurs shouldn’t fight. They should be nice to each other.” But that doesn’t let your child learn to resolve his own conflicts and play at his own pace. Dinosaurs can fight, cars can crash! And the rules to Candy Land don’t have to be “right” every time. Let the child change the rules every now and then.
- Have resolution available. Have a dinosaur hospital, a garage or tow truck for wrecked cars. That lets your child develop problem solving and they can shift the play themselves.
Studies show that at least 15-20 minutes a day, five times a week of Floor Time will result in significant changes in a child’s listening abilities. They’ll listen and respond better to you, even in non-play times!
[I found one link about this: http://www.mindspring.com/~dgn/childart.htm]

9. LIMITS

So many parents think limits equal punishment. Not true! Limits just means discipline.
Children shouldn’t just assume they can turn the TV on and veg on the couch. They should ask permission!
Use your humor! Examples (some are not age-appropriate):
- If your child is kicking & screaming in the store, get down and kick with them. That will embarrass them so much that next time, all you’ll have to say is, “I think I feel a tantrum coming on.”
- Or if they’re having a tantrum, talk to people around you. Say, “Anyone else have a day like this? She won’t quit screaming! She’s just yelling and yelling…” and most kids will stop because they’ll be so embarrassed. They think their behavior is a secret and are embarrassed when bad behavior is pointed out.
- If your child won’t make the bed, then take the sheets off. Say, “I decided you were right. You don’t need sheets!”
- If your child won’t get dressed before school or fights it when you try to do it, then you take off your clothes and go naked. Get your purse and start walking to the car (which is in a closed garage, of course!) and the child will be mortified and realize how silly it is not to wear clothes. Or, just take him in his pajamas. It’ll only happen once, and schools see it all the time. Of course, some schools may just make him sit in the front office all day, which he’ll see as punishment.
- If your kid keeps slamming the door, take it off the hinges and put it in the basement.
- One woman had two girls who fought every night about setting the table for dinner. So one night the mom put the spaghetti directly on the table and poured a puddle of milk above it. When the girls came to the table, they said, “Ew! Gross! Where are the plates?” The mom said, “I decided you were right. We don’t need to set the table and we don’t need silverware.” She started eating the spaghetti with her bare hands. The girls were so embarrassed that they never fought about setting the table again.

10. LOVE & TOUCH

We barely touch our babies anymore! We put them in a pumpkin seat to carry them to the car and from the car to the building.
We don’t let strangers touch our babies, even if they are safely complimenting them.
As parents, we need to increase our touching even more! Kids will get deprived.
We also need to SAY loving things like, “I love you” and “You’re special” and “You’re beautiful and cute.” One woman realized she never heard her parents compliment her looks when she was growing up.

*What do all these things have in common? They are all FREE! We don’t need more STUFF in our lives. We have enough. Babies come with more gear these days, and our kids have more than enough toys to use.

*Be the voice that kids need… ALL kids, not just your own. You will be considered a mean parent, and that’s okay. If you don’t hear, “You’re the meanest mom ever!” at least once every week, you’re not doing your job.

*All kids push, but they need a wall to push against. BE THE WALL!

The Best Teacher (May 2007)

2011-11-18T07:00:00.000-06:00

I was president of my mom’s group a few years ago. Every month, our newsletter included a President’s Greeting. It was usually a cheery preview of the month’s upcoming activities. Since I’m not very good at cheery previews, I used the space to write my own personal thoughts on motherhood. I am including these on my blog for my children to read one day.

May 2007: Right now, I’m watching the local news. There are some awful stories of things people have done to each other, animals, their children, and themselves. What is wrong with us today? What in our society is so lacking that such awful crimes are becoming more common? It seems to me there is a hole somewhere that people keep trying to fill with the wrong stuff. What is going on? And is there any way we can change the direction we’re taking?

The only answer I have is the one that’s sleeping upstairs right now in her big girl bed. She, and all the other little answers you have sleeping at your houses, is the place where we as parents get to hopefully start over and try to get the train back on track. It starts with you and with me, and it continues through our children and on to their children. The job of teaching our babies how to become responsible, compassionate, and moral people is not the job of teachers or friends or grandparents. It’s YOURS. The stakes are getting higher and higher with each passing generation.

I don’t expect Katie to change the world (yet I wouldn’t be surprised if she did!), but I do hope and pray that if we all teach our kids – AND OURSELVES – the right path to walk, we can make a difference. On your worst days when you feel too exhausted to show your child (yet again) how to use her manners or how to share toys or how to stop hitting, I hope this will inspire you to keep trying and keep walking that path. You’re the best teacher he’s got, and your contributions will help change our world one child at a time.

Dear Gina

2011-11-14T20:04:00.001-06:00

Happy one year anniversary! Technically, it was yesterday… so I’m a day late.

Oh, you mean you don’t remember what you were doing one year ago yesterday? I didn’t remember either, until breakfast this morning. I have an index card file on our kitchen table, with 365 index cards inside. There’s one for every day of the year. Each morning at breakfast, I pull out the card from the previous day and write one or two sentences about what we did that day. As the days and years pass, I’ll have an instant time capsule to go back and look at our life and the daily minutiae.

Today, I looked at November 13 and it said, “2010: Dan grilled for Second Saturday and Eric came too. Elizabeth took kids for haircuts. Church tonight with first-time visitors Gina, B, and L.” (initials for privacy)

I got tears in my eyes. Katie said, “Why are you crying?” She was in the midst of filling out a leaf for our November Thankful Tree, so I told her, “I’m thankful for friends who go to church with us.” She looked at me with a confused look on her face, so I showed her the card. Then I explained by saying, “You know L’s mommy and daddy? A long time ago, I asked her to go to church with us. She said no. I think it was because she wasn’t so sure about Jesus and God. But I kept asking her and asking her. Finally, after a year of asking, she said yes. She went with us a year ago, and I think since then she has become a follower of Jesus. And I’m so glad for her!”

Oh, Gina! My heart is so full of joy in watching you and your husband and the changes God has brought to your life this past year. I love when you write on your blog about your growing faith, and I LOVE when you text me about the little ways The Crossing has permeated your life. The best was this one you sent me yesterday, after your first day of training in the kids ministry and how much you enjoyed it. You wrote, “I cannot believe it took me a year to agree to come.”

That sentence literally makes me weak and fills my eyes with tears. What a testament! To know you fought it for so long, but God is faithful and He wooed you. Most importantly? He NEVER gave up on you. I am blessed beyond measure to be a witness to that.

I can’t WAIT to see what He continues to do in your life and B’s!

Love,

Elizabeth

P.S. I looked up the first emails you and I sent to each other. In only the second email I ever sent you, I invited you to The Crossing. The date was 6/5/09. It took you until 11/13/2010 to attend, or exactly 526 days. (But who’s counting?!)

How Has Parenthood Changed You? (April 2007)

2011-11-11T07:00:00.000-06:00

April 2007: I just read an advice column for new mothers, and the columnist said, “To state the obvious, a baby changes everything. And he or she does so by magnifying everything, whether it’s love or anxiety, joy or exhaustion.” Yep! Ain’t that the truth?!

That really struck a note with me, because not only did having a baby magnify my external life, but it magnified me internally too. When I became a mother at the ripe old age of 29, I was under the impression that I knew myself inside and out. I thought I was pretty much in control of my life and myself, and I thought I was pretty patient and even-keeled. A little emotional maybe, but a stable person in general. HA! (My husband’s going to get a laugh reading that part!) I have no idea what fantasy world I was living in, but it all crumbled a bit for me when Katie was born. Postpartum depression aside, I found out more about myself in the first year of being a mother than I did during all the other life crises I had experienced up to that point.

I learned that I’m stronger than I give myself credit for, and I also learned that I’m weaker too. I learned that I need people – my husband, my family, my friends. I’m independent, but still dependent. I developed a deeper faith by looking at my choices as a parent and comparing them to the choices that I think God makes for me as my parent. I learned that I need a certain amount of sleep to function, and pulling all-nighters in college was nothing compared to sleep deprivation compounded by breastfeeding and running a household. Becoming a mother made me more compassionate, more aware of the passing of time, more in love with my husband, and more appreciative of life in general. It also made me more aware of my limitations. And as time passes, being a mother has made me more understanding and – my mother would be chuckling to hear me say this – more forgiving of my own parents.

How has parenthood changed you? Look back at the last few years, and give yourself a pat on the back for the great job you’ve done, the growth you’ve accomplished, and the education you’ve received. While some of it might have been painful at the moment, it is pretty amazing to see how much the human spirit can adapt and overcome and grow. You’re doing a beautiful job, Mom! Keep up the good work!

Let Me Worry About That

2011-11-08T14:15:00.001-06:00

All of a sudden, life has gotten a little “overfull” for me. I feel like the moment the calendar page turned to November, more obstacles appeared on my radar and on my To Do List. Blame it on the overzealous stores who are eagerly displaying Christmas decorations, plus Thanksgiving looming just a few weeks away, but my list of tasks has tripled.

The week has been especially hard for my brain to process. In the last six days, my husband has demolished our master bathroom shower, gutted the walls behind it, then built everything back up again (tile, grout, sealant, caulk, doors, faucet). The result is very nice, but I’m still a few days away from showering in the new beauty. Meanwhile, my toiletries are scattered between two bathrooms and a gym bag, and that alone makes me feel torn in opposite directions. On top of that, I made the decision to have surgery on the Morton’s neuroma in my foot on November 29. (Yep, right at the height of the holiday season!) And in case that isn’t enough to focus on, Jackson is having minor surgery to insert ear tubes the day before Thanksgiving (which is also the day my family arrives for the holiday). He has failed five hearing tests since May. We hope the surgery will help drain fluid from his ears and recalibrate the pressure inside so his hearing can be restored.

Yes, this post does have a point, and the point isn’t to bore you with my To Do List and my To Worry List. All of a sudden, I am struggling to focus on TODAY because tomorrow is nagging at my concentration.

Lately, Jackson has been driving me a little bonkers with one incessant question: “What are we doing _____?” Fill in the blank with: today, after breakfast, after lunch, after nap, after dinner, after the gym… He can’t stand to not know what the next few hours holds. I’ve been trying to train him to focus on NOW and every time he asks this question, my answer is, “We’ll talk about it later. Right now your job is to focus on ______.” (Fill in that blank with the task at hand, such as coloring or eating lunch or getting dressed for the day.)

Just before his nap today, we were finishing a puzzle and he wanted to know what we are doing after nap. I answered the usual “focus on the puzzle” and added, “Why don’t you let ME worry about that?”

(You know where this is going, don’t you?)

I literally heard God’s voice whisper in my head, “Just like you do with me.” And then I saw myself doing to God exactly what Jackson does to me: “God, what are we doing tomorrow? Have you seen my To Do List for nap time today? I gotta power through so much stuff! And what food am I going to cook for Thanksgiving? Should I buy a Santa bag for gifts on Christmas morning? Don’t let me forget to measure the chairs for the dessert gala. And, and…”

Yes, God, you are right. I get so far ahead of you and don’t wait for you to show me the way. I can hardly see the blessing of today because I am so focused on the tasks of tomorrow. Forgive me! Help me to trust that you already have it all figured out. Remind me of this: when needs arise, you will give me the strength to fulfill them. Thank you for always being enough for me! Amen.

To Katie (March 2007)

2011-11-04T08:00:00.000-05:00

March 2007:

Dear Katie,

I can’t believe you’re such a big girl now. I remember meeting some of your friends in our mom’s group, and not being able to grasp the idea that one day you might be a year old like them. I thought time was standing still, and that it would be an eternity before you rolled over or crawled or talked. And now you are one of the big kids, and I am so proud of you!

I wish you would be able to remember what it’s like to be three years old. It’s such a shame that adults can’t remember their early childhoods. In 20 or 30 years, I’d love to be able to talk about yours with you. I’d love to find out what you’re really thinking these days. I wish you could tell me the reasons behind so many temper tantrums, and I’d love to hear your reaction to so many of the new things in your life, like carousel rides and your first taste of new foods. As it is, I can only watch with joy as your face explodes in happiness or wonder. At least I’ll always have that: the memories of your happy face, and remembering your gasps of surprise and awe. And I am blessed to be one of the people in your life who get the honor of holding on to those memories until you’re old enough to hear them and remember them for yourself.

I feel so lucky to be able to spend each day with you, watching you learn about the world. I know I am blessed to have the choice to be home with you every day, even the days that are full of tantrums and tears. I love the routine we’re in, and maybe I love it even more because I know it’s going to change in just a few weeks when your baby brother arrives. I can’t wait to see you become a big sister, but I know it will also be bittersweet because you and I will no longer have our days to ourselves. I am excited to watch you grow into a little lady, and watch you teach Jackson all the things you know: how to roll over, crawl, talk, sing, and laugh. Once you were the little one – now you’ve become the experienced leader. And now I know that time stands still for no one. I love you, Katie. You are an amazing little girl!

Mommy

Wordless Wednesday – The Aftermath

2011-11-02T15:28:00.001-05:00

Wordless Wednesday

929 Options

2011-10-29T23:32:00.001-05:00

There are two things you need to know about me right off the bat: 1) I am cheap. 2) I love Christmas cards.

So here it is, not even Halloween, and I’m already working on our Christmas card. Actually, I started thinking about it last spring, when I *finally* figured out how to fold a fitted sheet. Why? Because in our annual Christmas card, I always include a top ten list of things we’ll remember about the past year. I was SO excited to finally learn how to fold a fitted sheet that I decided I wanted to include that in our top ten list.

Uh, yeah. For reals.

I used to send a Christmas letter and sometimes include a photo. In 2005, I started the Top Ten list and turned it into a photo collage postcard. I liked that because it: 1) was short and sweet (there isn’t much room on a postcard), 2) let me send more than one photo, and 3) was cheaper! (Postcard postage is cheaper than a regular letter.)

Last year, I broke from tradition a bit. I sent half of my cards as postcards, and the rest were Shutterfly photo cards. I’ve written before about Shutterfly photo books, but the cards were something I wasn’t as familiar with. I wasn’t sure how they would turn out, but I ended up loving the Shutterfly cards. I found a folded card like this and went to town adding photos to the front.

Then I opened up the inside editing options, and it was like a whole new world to me! Shutterfly cards have the option to add text and photos inside the card as well, so I found a layout that worked and added my Top Ten with photos to illustrate the list. (If you can’t find a layout you like personally, you might get a visit from the Grinch. I just looked at the card options and there are nine hundred twenty nine options just on the page I surfed.)

I liked last year’s card so much that I’m using Shutterfly again this year. I may have started a new tradition! But I’m still not sure about adding “folded a fitted sheet” to my Top Ten list. People might think I lead a very dull life if I add that to the list!

Want some Shutterfly holiday cards for yourself ? Leave a comment by 11:59pm CST on November 6. In your comment, tell me the top three things that you’ll remember most about 2011. I’ll randomly pick one winner to receive a coupon for 25 free cards! (Open to US residents only.)

It Takes a Village (February 2007)

2011-10-28T08:00:00.000-05:00

February 2007: As I write this Shawn Hornbeck and Ben Ownby have been home for exactly one week. The news of their return – especially Shawn’s – was astounding to me. I remember hearing about Shawn’s disappearance right around the time when I found out I was pregnant with Katie. Think about that: in the amount of time that he has been gone, a new life was started and grown – both mine and Katie’s! And I am sure that the news of his disappearance didn’t affect me then like it does now that I have a child of my own.

I watched Shawn’s interview with Oprah, and there are a few parts that I will remember for the rest of my life. One is that when Shawn was captive, he posted a question on his parents’ website, asking them how long they would keep looking for him. That just breaks my heart! He wanted to know that he was still loved and missed enough that he wouldn’t be forgotten. And isn’t that what all our children want, even you? You want to know that you matter and are loved, and that’s what our kids want too. It’s so simple when you break it down like that.

The other part of the interview that haunts me is that Shawn’s aunt mentioned that when he was held captive as Shawn Devlin, people actually asked him if he was Shawn Hornbeck. The aunt asked why nobody got involved in this kid’s life. What a wake up call! Our society is so quick to “mind your own business” – and I understand that privacy is important – but sometimes we lose sight of what brings us together. I, for one, hope that some other adults take an active role in my children’s lives.

I want our mommy community to care enough about all of our kids that we are willing to be a part of their lives – not just their parents’ lives. I love it when other mommies hug my daughter, and I love getting hugs from your kids too. I want you to help me raise my children, and help me learn how to be a better parent. (I get a lot of my parenting cues by watching other moms in our group.) I want you to be involved in our lives, and I want the feedback and support that our group gives each other. And here’s where the cliché comes in – it truly does take a village to raise a child. By being a member of our group, you are agreeing to take up residence in that village. And I hope you see it as an honor and a duty – and spread some of that influence into the lives of all the children you touch, not just the ones that belong to our group.

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

2011-10-26T15:33:00.001-05:00

The moment my brother died fifteen years ago, a new understanding entered my life. I had spent 22 years without this knowledge – and hoped it would be much longer until I acquired it – but it came to me earlier than expected.

On October 26, 1996, I learned what Death is; what it looks like, what it smells like, what it feels like. I learned how someone can go from “here” to “gone” in a matter of moments. I learned how Death permeates every aspect of Life, and how the two can never be divorced from each other. I found out that Death is sneaky and hateful, but it can also be redeeming and a relief. Death broke my heart and fractured my sense of self. Death is a thief; it took the precious away from me. But Death is also a giver, if you’re willing to accept the gift it has to offer.

In the long run, Death saved me. It stripped away the person I thought I was, and I was left with an emptiness I had never known. Death broke me to the core of my soul, and caused me to turn away from the things I loved: my pride, my accomplishments, my history. I also turned away from God, angry at Him because He didn’t save Jackson from cancer. I told Him I didn’t need Him anymore and decided to rely on myself instead.

Fast forward fifteen years, years full of grief and growing and experiencing and trusting. I am ungraciously accepting the “gifts” Death has given me: the impetus to live life with intention, knowing there are no guarantees for tomorrow. Death also gave me a deeper sense of right and wrong, and the drive to live without regrets. Death taught me to say words of love more often. It made my marriage stronger and it gives me more reasons to hug my kids. And after walking through Death’s valley and taking the hand of the only One who can guide me out, I have an unshakable belief in God’s never-ending goodness.

Most of all, Death gives me hope. A hope in the future when God will restore those who follow His Son, and the hope of a glorious reunion with those I so desperately miss and the One who has never left my side.

The hardest part is waiting for that time to come. Reunion sounds pretty awesome on days like today, when I ache with longing to hear Jackson and Mom and Dad’s voices. But I don’t want that reunion quite yet, if it means separation from the loves I am surrounded by in this life.

Hope is what holds me together as I wait for the days to come.

Embroidered Map

2011-10-25T21:58:00.001-05:00

Thanks to Pinterest, I saw this really great idea about embroidering a map. I had supplies already on hand and made my first one last week!

I have a friend who went to visit her oldest child at college for the first time since he left home. The morning she drove away, I put this in her mailbox and told her to check it before she left. I used a map of the United States (that I got from Leftovers), two strands of red thread (doubled over to make it four strands thick), and put it in an inexpensive 4x6 frame.

Next time, I will try to use a map that isn’t a driving map, because the red thread didn’t stand out as well as I would have liked against the red color of the interstate route.

But all in all, I think it turned out pretty well!

New Year’s Resolutions (January 2007)

2011-10-21T08:00:00.000-05:00

January 2007: I love to make New Year resolutions. I don’t know that I’ve ever been successful at keeping them for a long-term period of time, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like having a chance to try.

Since 2001, I’ve written down most of my resolutions. If nothing else, they’re fun to look back at and see what I thought was important or worth improving in my life. Kind of a little time capsule from the past year. I’ve included such gems as stop cussing, take my vitamins, floss more, and, of course, there is always a mention about my eyelashes! (Those of you who know about my OCD will know how well that has been going for me!)

It’s also nice to look back and see how I’ve been trying to comfort my soul. My 2006 resolution to “light more candles” was obviously a hope for more relaxation and meditation. My 2004 resolution to say grace before meals tells me I was lacking a spiritual connection in 2003. That seems pretty logical, considering I had a six-month-old and was lucky enough to sit down and eat, much less connect spiritually to anything.

The changing calendar has always marked a new beginning for me – another chance to get it right. Yes, I get the same chance every morning that I wake up too, but putting the past year to bed has always helped me mentally forgive my shortcomings, extend grace to myself, and re-energize my passions for a brand new beginning. The new year is a physical reminder to me that days pass into weeks and into months and into years. If you don’t take a moment to look at what you’ve left behind, how can you chart your course for the future?

So whether you use January 1 or, like a friend of mine, use your birthday to mark a new beginning, at least promise yourself that you’ll make the time to count your blessings, take stock of the here and now, and chart some ways to grow in the coming year. And let me know if you need someone to encourage you to floss more. I’m always here to help!

Second Baby Jitters (December 2006)

2011-10-14T08:00:00.000-05:00

December 2006: I have a confession to make. I am terrified to have a second child. Well, the terror is tempered with excitement, but I am kinda scared. Just when things are going so well with Katie, what am I doing upsetting the apple cart?!

I know those of you with more than one kid probably think this is funny. And if you have more than two kids, it’s probably hysterical. But I guess I kind of pride myself on getting things squared away in our household, getting Katie to a manageable level of independence, and kind of getting a feeling of control back in my life. And yet I’m going to go flush it all down the drain! And this time I don’t even have the excuse of blissful ignorance – I know what I’m getting myself in to, which is the one thing I didn’t know when I was pregnant with Katie. That sounds to me like the definition of insanity – you keep repeating the same crazy action, expecting a different outcome. And when I think about reliving the first 4 months of Katie’s life… oh, God! How am I going to do that with an almost-four-year-old?! What was I thinking?

But I also know this time it will be different. Maybe I’ll have a peaceful, quiet baby who sleeps through the night at two weeks. And last time, I didn’t have a group of mommies to really lean on – I was involved in our group, but still too new to feel comfortable asking for help. I didn’t know that breastfeeding doesn’t last forever, that the baby will eventually sleep through the night, and that time does, in fact, move on – even when it feels like it’s moving slower than molasses.

So, if I seem a little scatter-brained these days, it’s because I’m fluctuating between terror and excitement, fear and hope. I know one day I’ll look back at this and laugh, because I won’t even remember what it’s like to have a three-person family. I’ll think back to how naïve I used to be, and feel nostalgic for these oh-so-easy days when parenting was all about zone defense (not man-to-man), there were no sibling fights, no soccer games and ballet classes, and no fighting over who gets to use the phone next. Maybe you’ll join me in raising a toast to our younger selves, and help me appreciate all the wisdom I’ve gained in this terrifically terrifying new world into which I’m about to be born. Wish me luck!

Wordless Wednesday – Leaf Maze

2011-10-12T08:00:00.000-05:00

My daughter and her friend raked a maze into the back yard’s leaves.

God’s Creation in a Caterpillar

2011-10-11T08:00:00.000-05:00

I was sitting at my kitchen table during Jackson’s nap on September 20. I looked out the patio door and saw this big green thing moving on the cover of our grill. I went outside and saw the BIGGEST caterpillar I have ever seen.

Of course, I ran back inside to grab my camera. I sidled up to that caterpillar and took lots of photos. I couldn’t get over his big squishiness.

At the same time, I was repelled by his squirmy bugginess. Ewww.

I decided to get the kids’ bug catcher so I could show him to Katie once she got off the bus. With him in the bug catcher, I got some different views and great photos. This one shows his little sucker feet. You can even see the tiny hairs on his legs. My response, again, is “Ewww. But cool!”

Katie came home from school and I showed the caterpillar to the kids. I kept it on the grill in the back yard overnight, kind of forgetting about him. The next morning, I checked on him and saw he had started throwing silk all over the bug catcher. I realized he was starting to build a cocoon! I kind of panicked, afraid to let him go in case his cocooning process would make him vulnerable to predators. I decided to keep him in the bug catcher in hopes of keeping him safe. I threw in a leaf, thinking he could eat it while he prepared to cocoon. As soon as the leaf was inside, I saw him start to grab it and thought he must be very hungry.

By the next morning, here’s how it all looked:

The caterpillar hadn’t eaten the leaf, he had used it for his cocoon! I now realized we had a beautiful example of God’s creation in our midst, and decided to research what kind of caterpillar he might be. That was a pretty hard job. I thought maybe he’s a Cecropia Silkmoth or a Luna Moth (Actias Luna), but then I saw a photo of an Antheraea Polyphemus and decided that’s my guy. (Of course, what do I know? I won’t know for sure until he emerges from his cocoon. And then I’m hoping I’ll be able to tell if it’s a HE or a SHE as well!)

Then I read up on how to grow caterpillar and/or cocoon. I found some good links like this one on raising giant silkmoths and this one on the lifecycle of polyphemus moths. It’s been so cool to learn and watch nature firsthand.

One of the websites I read said you should keep the cocoon outside (or at least in your garage) to protect it from animals. Also, keeping it outside will help it adapt so when it’s time to release, it will be acclimated to the weather. I put our bug catcher and cocoon in our garage on top of the refrigerator. I check it every day in case something changes; I thought I’d have to wait until spring to see it hatch. But last week (Oct. 4), I picked up the bug catcher to look at it and heard this rustling sound coming from inside the cocoon. I think maybe he’ll be ready to hatch soon!

I’ll keep you posted on his/her progress.

LEGOs in the Bath Tub

2011-10-10T22:33:00.001-05:00

Forgive me as I take a moment to toot my own horn. I have happened upon a brilliant idea and want to share it with you! THIS is one of the best ways I know to keep my kids quiet:

LEGOs in the bath tub.

It wasn’t planned, except for the fact that I knew I didn’t want LEGOs in the living room. I had heard too many horror stories of parents puncturing their feet by walking on LEGOs. Somehow, we ended up with LEGOs in our master bathroom. It has been a sanity saver.

Jackson plays quietly while I am in the adjacent shower and then get dressed and ready for the day. On weekends, Katie joins him and they build all kinds of contraptions. When they run out of LEGOs (our collection isn’t huge yet, but I’m hoping Santa will help enhance it this Christmas), I take photos of their creations and then we tear them apart so they kids can start fresh.

My friend Beth let us borrow two green LEGO boards. Now I’m wondering why no one sells ceramic LEGO tiles that we can have installed throughout the bathroom!

Thanks to Daddies (November 2006)

2011-10-07T08:00:00.000-05:00

November 2006: It’s a little cheesy, but I have to admit I’m in love with my husband. Yes, it comes and goes and ebbs and flows; my marriage can sometimes be as cyclical as the seasons. But for all the venting and griping I may do about him, I truly am in love with him. How could I ever be the person I am without him in my life? There is no way, absolutely no way, that I could be the parent, friend, woman or human being I am without his support and friendship. Simply put, he believes in me, and that sustains me.

Just tonight I was so very tired of hearing Katie grump at me for the umpteenth time today. I tagged out with Dan and went to another room to mentally zone out for a moment before trying to tackle the issue of a three-year-old schizophrenic in my house. As I walked out of the room, I caught myself saying, under my breath, “Thank you, God, for my husband.” I truly meant it as a prayer of thanksgiving.

It reminds me of the first few months after Katie’s birth. As most of you know, I had postpartum depression. There were days I was hanging by a thread, and the one thing that helped me was a ritual I made Dan perform every single night. I made him hold my face in his hands and say, “It’s going to be okay. We’re going to get through this.” It was the one thing that kept me grounded during an awful time. Up until that point, I thought marriage was the hardest thing I’d ever done. Then I became a mommy, and the entire dynamic of our marriage changed. I fell in love with Dan on a daily basis, watching him be tender and sweet. It still makes my heart sing to watch him and Katie.

How do single parents do it? For that matter, I know some of you have husbands who travel constantly, and you are raising your children single-handedly some weeks. My hat is off to you. I know that without my husband by my side, I would be ungrounded and floundering. You think I’m crazy now? Ha!

So, this November, the month of Thanksgiving, as a group of mommies let’s say thank you to the daddies in our lives who make our hearts sing. And if your husband isn’t making your heart sing very often these days, if your cyclical marriage is having a little hiccup like they sometimes do, then I hope you invest some time in each other and find the joy and support in the man you chose as your life partner.

Lost & Found

2011-10-04T15:01:00.001-05:00

I did the most epic good deed* yesterday, at this UPS store.

One of our friends was on an airplane and found a Kindle left by the person who was in the seat before her. My friend took it with her and called Amazon when she got home, trying to find the rightful owner. Amazon gave her the run around, so her husband called back and got someone who promised to send him a package so he could ship the Kindle to Amazon. Then Amazon would get it back to the owner. Our friends never received the package, even after months went by.

In mid-September, my friends brought the Kindle to me and asked if I wanted it. I said YES! That would be fantastic! So I kept the Kindle and couldn’t wait to use it once I finished a novel I had borrowed from the library. Even better? There was a book already on the Kindle that I had been wanting to read. So I finished the paper book and jumped into the Kindle book. But as I read, I couldn’t shake the feeling that this Kindle should NOT be mine. I should at least make the same effort that my friends did in trying to return it. So once I finished the book I was reading on the Kindle (I AM selfish after all, and had to read the book!), I contacted Amazon and they emailed me a pre-paid shipping label so I could send it back to them.

I think I was hoping that when I contacted Amazon, a miracle would occur and they might say I didn’t need to return it. Aw, darn. No such luck.

So yesterday, Jackson and I stopped by the UPS store and shipped the Kindle to Amazon. I put a note for the owner inside the Kindle case, asking him/her to email me when it returns home so I know it is safe and sound. I really hope it gets back to its owner, because sending it away really tested my willpower. What if it doesn’t, and I could have just kept it? Ugh. That would stink! But at least I know I did the right thing and my conscience is clear. One day, I hope my kids read this blog and realize even adults have a hard time doing the right thing.

This story should serve as a good reminder to us all: ALWAYS label your expensive electronic items with your name and address! If the Kindle owner had just kept her business card in the pocket of the carrying case, my friends would have mailed it directly back to her. (And I wouldn’t be torn between my good and evil sides!)

*Now don’t go giving me a pat on the back for my good deed. If I were really deserving of it, I wouldn’t have read an entire book on the Kindle before I returned it. I would have contacted Amazon immediately instead of selfishly reading and telling myself, “Finders, keepers; losers, weepers.” Yuck. Sometimes I amaze even myself with my pettiness!

Stop Waiting (October 2006)

2011-09-30T08:00:00.000-05:00

October 2006: What were you doing ten years ago this October? How has your life changed since then? I was just 22 years old, not even married for a year yet. I think I was in the “no kids for me, thanks” phase of my life. I was probably still trying to find myself and hadn’t learned the biggest lessons of my life yet. (Not that I’ve learned them all even now…)

Ten years ago this October, my family was still defined as my parents, sister, brother, and my husband. That definition has changed tremendously in the last 10 years. Not only do I have a daughter, but I have another baby on the way. My family core has changed and has now become the family that I’ve created – the one that I’ve borne, not the one I was born into.

Ten years ago this October, the family I grew up in ceased to exist. My parents had already divorced in 1995, but in October 1996, my brother died. Before this point, I don’t think I stopped to think that my family would ever change that much. I figured my siblings and I would grow old together, and the grandparents would be around for a long time, spoiling and playing with the grandkids. Now, ten years later, the only ones that are left are me and my sister. It’s devastating to feel like the only survivor after a storm.

But the silver lining is I changed my life – or rather, it changed me. I learned just how much I take for granted, and I learned that we will all die one day. I learned that family doesn’t mean shared blood – just shared love. I learned to pare down the frills in my life and relationships, and learned that what I truly need to survive aren’t things and stuff. The hardest lesson I learned was that I have to tell the people I love how I feel. I always thought I’d get another chance to tell my brother I loved him, but I didn’t. That is one of the biggest regrets in my life. And, for the last ten years, I’ve tried not to make that mistake again.

I know you’ve heard this before, and it’s repetitive and maybe a little trite. But let me say it again so you might truly know it: don’t wait another day. Whatever it is you’re waiting for, stop waiting. Say it, do it, undo it, be it, feel it. Tomorrow isn’t always another day, Scarlett. Today is all you have. Make it count!

Missing Socks

2011-09-29T08:00:00.000-05:00

Luckily, one of the latest fads involves mismatched socks – or mitchmatched socks, as Jackson calls them. That might work for the kids, but what’s an adult to do when his sock mate goes missing? Donate it to the kids’ toy stash and play Sock Tag!

How do you play Sock Tag? Each player gets a sock then stuffs it down the waistband of their pants with the foot of the sock hanging out over their behind.

The players start off in a mad dash to try and steal other players’ socks.

When they look out the window and see your kid running around with a sock hanging out of her pants, the neighbors will either think you’ve lost your mind OR decide to join in the fun!

E.T. and Innocence

2011-09-28T08:00:00.000-05:00

Compared to the world’s standards, Katie is living a sheltered life. She isn’t allowed to watch much TV. The TV she does watch is usually an animated cartoon on PBS or maybe on the Disney Channel. Her grandparents let her watch things I wouldn’t allow, but that’s a grandparents’ prerogative (and they aren’t awful things to watch anyway, or else I’m sure Dan and I would intervene). We have friends whose kids – at Katie’s age and younger – have watched movies like Twilight and some with adult storylines about cancer and death.

But Katie is, in a word, innocent. For example, she has watched Scooby Doo episodes at Grandma and Poppy’s, and has had nightmares from them in the past. I think her imagination just runs wild after seeing cartoon zombies and mummies. We requested the grandparents not show Scooby Doo, and they honored our request. Recently, she was allowed to watch another episode and it freaked her out again, but just minimal freakage.

The freakage wasn’t too bad. Also, I’m pretty sure we are on the cusp of new territory. She is starting to care how her hair looks and what clothes she wears (even though she is still okay with wearing her favorite patchwork skirt with crazy color combinations AND polka dot mismatched socks). I keep thinking we need to give her more freedom and allow her to read “older” books and watch “older” shows.

I was lulled into the idea that Katie is ready to learn more about the world. I was at the library and saw the movie E.T. and fondly remembered how much I loved it when I was Katie’s age. I decided to check it out and bring it home for a family movie night. I recalled a few scary scenes in the movie, so I prefaced our movie night by telling the kids the movie ends FINE and everyone is happy and Mommy and Daddy would never show them a movie that doesn’t have a good ending.

Katie and Jackson curled up together and we started watching the movie. This horribly grainy photo shows them mesmerized by E.T.’s story.

When the kids first saw E.T., their eyes were huge and full of wonder. Dan and I shared a misty-eyed glance with each other, so excited to witness another chapter in our kids’ induction into ‘80s pop culture. And then…

AND THEN. E.T. turns white and starts dying. And Katie’s anxiety ratchets up a few notches. In the scene where E.T. is found in the creek bed, literally on death’s doorstep, Katie turned her face from the TV and covered her ears. I held her hand, calmed her, and reminded her that it all turns out okay. (Darn it. I should have turned the TV off right then!) The movie progressed with a little more anxiety from Katie, but I thought all was well when she cheered and hollered as the boys on bikes escaped the alien hunters and took off in flight. Katie was all smiles from then on. E.T. said goodbye to Elliot, the kids were sad to see him leave, and it was over.

NOT SO FAST, you darn extra terrestrial. An hour and a half after bedtime, Katie came to me and Dan with her hair sweated to her scalp, body trembling, and panic in her eyes. She said she kept seeing E.T. dying in the creek bed. I calmed her down, walked her back to bed, and tucked her in with reminders that E.T. isn’t real. Thirty minutes later, Katie was up and crying again. I knelt by her bed, trying to find patience in my soul so I could calm her down again. And that’s when Jackson woke up, screaming from his own night terrors. Oh, for the love! I told Dan, “That’s IT! Our kids will never watch anything higher than a G rated movie until they turn 14!” Sorry, E.T. and the related ‘80s kitsch. You’ll have to wait a few more years to claim our kids.

In a sidebar to this story, Jackson tried on an inflatable alien head and hands that we got at Cracker Barrel as part of his Halloween costume. He ran around the yard, then without prompting, held up his hands and blurted out: “E.T. phone home!” Glad to see he has good memories after all.

Helmet Mohawk

2011-09-27T15:11:00.001-05:00

Last spring, I saw this post on Make about making helmet mohawks. Today, Jackson and I finally got around to turning his bike helmet into a mohawk.

We took a trip to Hobby Lobby, in search of faux fur. The only kind they had was more felty than furry. It wouldn’t stand up enough to evoke a mohawk on Jackson’s helmet. So we browsed the trim aisle and found some funky trim that would work. Jackson picked his favorite color, we had a yard cut and headed home to find my glue gun.

It was very easy to apply the trim to the helmet. I just piped a row of hot glue, an inch at a time, and stuck the trim to it. Jackson was BEYOND excited to have a helmet mohawk, and begged to go outside and take a spin on his bike to try it out.

The smile says it all.

Friendship (September 2006)

2011-09-23T08:00:00.000-05:00

September 2006: Remember when we were girls and friendship meant having the same favorite color or song, or liking the same boy? It was so easy then, wasn’t it? I watch Katie make new friends so easily. She just walks up to them and says, “My name is Katie. What’s your name?” And then they chase each other or go climb or slide. That’s all it takes!

Now that I’m grown-up, it isn’t that easy anymore. Authentic, true friendship takes a lot of work. And, sometimes, if you’re lucky, you find a friend who knows you almost as well as you know you! And if you’re really lucky, you find more than one friend like that.

I feel lucky like that. Yep, sounds a bit cheesy once I write it down! But I feel like ever since I started this new voyage of motherhood, I have been blessed to be a part of this group of mothers. I’ve found women who I normally wouldn’t bond with in the “regular” world, but somehow they are my closest friends in this group. Part of that is because my definition of bonding has changed. It used to be I was friends with the closest cubicle-mate. Now my criteria for a friend and acquaintance is someone who can relate to venting and temper tantrums (both mine and Katie’s!). And I’ve become good friends with people who have seen my breast in public while I so desperately tried nursing those first few times. And my best friends have become people who I see often and who care enough to pick up the phone and call me after a rough day at the park chasing Katie. Those “best” friendships take a little more work, but they are so worth it!

Thank you to each of you for filling those roles, in whatever different way that you do. You feed my soul and each others’ souls by finding ways to relate within our group, even though sometimes it takes a little more work. Thank you for finding ways to become each others’ acquaintances and friends, and, if you’ve been lucky, maybe even best friends.

Homemade Lunchables

2011-09-21T08:00:00.000-05:00

Thanks to this post, Katie and I have found another idea for packing school lunches. I’ve always thought about making homemade Lunchables, but just wasn’t sure about the final product and how to make it work. The post by Nike from Choose to Thrive gave me a kick in the rear and got me going. I showed it to Katie and she was excited to make lunches for the week. Whew!

We dug through our plastic containers and found one that was pre-divided into three sections, and another from Chinese takeout that would also work.

We gathered the food and tools to make the Lunchables, then Katie set to work cutting out ham shapes with a cookie cutter.

I made dividers from an old milk jug, and packed crackers and cheese into the containers. Katie selected fruits and vegetables, and we were done.

It’s easy, and I like being able to choose healthier food (veggies, fruit and even preservative-free meat and cheese!). I think Katie likes the bonus of getting a small treat included in her lunch. (She doesn’t usually get any sweets for lunch.)

I’m hoping it’s an idea we can continue for a while.

Slipping Through My Fingers

2011-09-20T14:41:00.001-05:00

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning,
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile.
I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while.
The feeling that I’m losing her forever
And without really entering her world.
I’m glad whenever I can share her laughter,
That funny little girl.
Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute,
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time.
Do I really see what’s in her mind?
Each time I think I’m close to knowing,
She keeps on growing.
Slipping through my fingers all the time.
Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table,
Barely awake, I let precious time go by.
Then when she’s gone there’s that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I cant deny.
What happened to the wonderful adventures,
The places I had planned for us to go?
Well, some of that we did but most we didn’t
And why I just don’t know.
Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture,
And save it from the funny tricks of time.
Slipping through my fingers all the time.
Schoolbag in hand she leaves home in the early morning,
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile...

by ABBA

Why I Blog

2011-09-19T08:00:00.000-05:00

I started blogging in 2008, with this post. I had a few general ideas in mind for blogging, but didn’t have what I’d consider focused intention. I thought I’d just give it a try and discover what I had to say by saying it.

There are lots of meaningful reasons to blog – it’s fun, I like to write, I like meeting people, I like sharing ideas, I like getting feedback, I like having a place for family & friends to keep tabs on us – but I could find other outlets (besides blogging) to satisfy those reasons. Facebook does a pretty good job with most of those!

No, my main reason for blogging is this: it’s for my kids.

My parents died when Katie was one year old. That means they haven’t been around to guide me or answer questions about the sorts of things I did when I was little. I’ve wanted to ask them dozens of questions like: how old was I when I potty trained? What did you do to break up sibling fights? How did I learn to ride a bike? Were you ever afraid of losing me? What’s the best tip you have for handling nightmares?

But my parents are gone and there are no answers from them. I’m left to fly by the seat of my pants, weigh pros and cons with Dan, ask my sister for advice, and follow my friends’ tips and tricks.

I would LOVE to read my mom and dad’s blog. OH, yeah… that’s right. They didn’t write one. So I’m writing one for my kids.

One day, they may raise kids of their own. I pray I am there to witness that and give them advice, and hopefully get a few chuckles as I watch them get payback for the debts they are incurring now. (I can’t wait to see my grandkids’ tantrums!) But if I’m not around if/when Katie has postpartum depression or Jackson’s child rides a bike without training wheels for the first time, I know they’ll have Six Golden Coins to read so they can understand what my life was like with them. And, mostly, so they can understand they aren’t going through anything I didn’t go through… and we all survived – even the rough spots.

This blog is my gift to Katie and Jackson. I try to be honest but not embarrass them, and I try to chronicle their days, my marriage, my faith, and the joys and sorrows of this beautifully glorious life. I write knowing they will read it some day. And I hope, above all else, they feel the love that comes with each post and feel honored to be at the center of Six Golden Coins.

Not Today

2011-09-18T20:00:00.000-05:00

I did not enjoy being a mom today.

The guilt that comes with that admission is staggering. I’m waiting for DFS to come to my door at any moment and take my kids into custody. I feel horrible admitting that even though I love my children, some days I just don’t like being their mom very much. But if I’m being honest on this blog, I have to include the good AND the bad.

There are lots of reasons why today wasn’t my best day. One of them is because they bicker when they are together. Jackson is a different kid Monday through Friday when his big sister is in school. But when she is home in the evenings and on weekends, the territorial disputes go into overdrive. And their already diminished ability to hear my voice when I try to correct their behavior is further obliterated when they are intent on making the other whine or scream or snort during lunch.

Another reason is a little bit of grayness in my heart. Today would have been Mom’s 70th birthday, which is – plainly put – a sad day regardless of anything else going on in my life.

The weather is rainy and misty. It’s been dreary and somewhat chilly this past week, which means a little more time cooped up in the house with the kids. Dan is working long hours. And I have the same cabin fever feelings I have in mid-February when the ice and snow keep us holed up inside, begging for some sign of spring.

Except this is September, and summer was just here two weeks ago. How can my heart be so fickle and change from optimism to pessimism in mere days? The good news about being fickle is I know the pendulum will swing back the other way in the blink of an eye. I’m holding on for that.

Have patience, my soul!

Who Are You? (August 2006)

2011-09-16T08:00:00.000-05:00

August 2006: Who are you? Don’t just automatically rush ahead and think, “I’m ____’s mom and ____’s wife.” Don’t think about whose daughter, sister or friend you are. And don’t think about what you look like! Think about your core self – your soul, your heart, your passion. When you take away all the roles that you play and all the hats you wear every day, what do you have left? What are your loves?

If you were to ask me, here’s what I’d say: I am Elizabeth. I am God’s child. I am passionate about words and talking and feeling – whether it’s joy or sorrow. I am opinionated. I am a little obsessive-compulsive. (Okay, a LOT.) I am addicted to my husband, my kid and my computer. I love to read and learn new things, stretch my mind to new possibilities. I like to take photographs, make things and write. I love to overindulge in the good things of life: laughter, love, food, drink, friends. I love red and purple, but not together. And I love music.

I ask the question “Who are you?” because it is so important. If you don’t know yourself, then how can anyone else? How can you teach your child to know himself? And how can you fulfill your purpose if you haven’t looked inside yourself to find out what it is?

Once you know who you are and what you love, you have the ability to nurture yourself and become more fully YOU. And when you know who you are, you can show the others in your life who they are too.

This quote from Marianne Williamson is one of my favorites: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God! Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure about you. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us: it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Days of the Week Dial

2011-09-13T08:00:00.000-05:00

I was at my favorite store (Leftovers) and found a wooden clock frame. I dug through a bucket filled with miscellaneous wooden pieces and located a wooden arrow, and decided to make them into a days of the week tool for Jackson.

First, I stretched my brain and figured out how to make a circular days of the week diagram. I had to search deep in my memory to find the math and figure out the circumference of a circle. Then I split the circle into seven equal parts and used the chart application in Microsoft Word to graph a pie chart. I added day labels, and printed out my diagram on regular typing paper. I painted the wooden form with white paint and asked Dan to drill a hole in the wooden arrow. I painted the arrow blue.

I decoupaged the diagram onto the board and waited for it to dry, then assembled the arrow spinner. I had to experiment with different ways to keep the arrow straight without being too lose to flop around. I used a brass brad, a pony bead and a washer on the front of the board.

On the back, I used a washer and a pony bead, then spread the brad prongs apart and tightly folded them over.

Each morning when Jackson wakes up, he loves to turn the arrow to find the correct day.

He reads the word and walks over to his closet to find the bin labeled with the corresponding day, where his pre-selected clothes are waiting.

A Little Reminder

2011-09-12T08:00:00.000-05:00

Remember back when I wrote a post about this one little weekly email that keeps my marriage communication lines open? Did you forget to start this weekly ritual yourself? Lucky for you, I wrote about it at JC’s Loft. Incorporate it into your family’s life and it’ll save your sanity. It has worked well for us!

Why Did You Have Children? (July 2006)

2011-09-09T08:00:00.000-05:00

July 2006: Why did you have children? Was it to cement the bond between you and your husband? Was it to give your parents a grandchild? Was it to see life perpetuate itself? Was it so you’d have someone to take care of you in your old age?

I know it certainly wasn’t because you wanted to clean a messy house. Or because you enjoy saying, “No, please don’t do that” a thousand times a day. And especially not because you wanted to change dirty diapers.

There are thousands of reasons why people have children. And sometimes it’s a combination of all of those reasons. But whatever the reason, I’ll bet you never expected the journey to be like this.

If anyone had told me I’d be up in the middle of the night covered in puke, I’d have laughed. “No, not me! That’s just an urban legend.” Or that I’d be inventing games to entertain my daughter while changing a poopy diaper, or that I’d be so excited when my kid learned to blow her nose.

Luckily, there are lots of joys to go along with the not-so-joyous parts of parenthood. I get to be the Boo Boo Kisser and make it all better. I get to experience all the Firsts (Steps, Tooth, Haircut) of another person’s life. I get to make Katie laugh just by stalking her with my tickling hand. I’m the one she calls when she’s scared. And, best of all, I get to hold her in my arms and rock to her favorite song before sleep.

I’ve developed a lot more empathy for the crises of the world. Before I became a mother, I would hear an awful news story and think, “Oh, how sad.” Then I’d go on with my day. Now I want to cry because I think how awful it would be if that happened to my baby girl.

Becoming a mother has peeled away the layers of insecurity, vanity, pride, and selfishness inside my soul. I’ve found a different person inside, one that I never thought I could be. This was not my reason for having a child, but it’s been the best byproduct I never imagined!

Photo Menagerie

2011-09-06T08:00:00.000-05:00

One thing I love about my photography hobby is the way it makes me stop and look at the world more closely. My zoom lens helps me get up close and personal with God’s creation, and this year has been a great adventure behind the lens. I want to share photos of some of the creatures I’ve gotten to know with my camera.

March: snow bunny

April: ladybug

April: robin

April: hungry bee

April: hawk on fence (photo by Dan)

July: Mohawk the turtle

August: sneaky mouse

August: woodchuck

August: opossum

(I have to show him twice because he was so unique!)

Of course, we can’t have animals on the blog without mentioning Pancake the squirrel. I have LOTS of photos of that silly guy, and even one of him and his “girlfriend.” (The kids named her Waffle.)

I am so thankful for the bay window in my living room! It has given me a front-row seat for spying on the world. Now if I could just figure out how to remove the blue cast in my photos that comes from shooting through a Low-E Argon window!

Sun Damage

2011-09-04T08:00:00.000-05:00

Every morning when Katie gets dressed for the day, I remind her to apply sunscreen to her face. She uses one of those spongy makeup applicators to avoid the mess on her hands, and spreads a squirt of sunscreen around her face. Sometimes she does this grudgingly, sometimes she does it without much fuss.

I decided to show her WHY I ask her to do this every day.

We own a simple black light that we got at Home Depot for this very purpose. It cost maybe $15 or $20.

I asked Katie to sit on the counter close to the mirror, then turned off the lights and held the black light close to her face.

She could see her skin, and laughed at how her teeth glow in the black light. Then I held the black light up to my own face to show her the sun damage I have underneath the top layer of my skin. I can’t believe I’m posting this photo on my blog for the world to see my blotchy skin, but it’s worth it to illustrate the results of the sun on my skin. (Sorry I couldn’t get an even better photo to show the damage!) Can you see the blotches to the left of the corner of my mouth? My skin looks dark in the areas of damage, and lighter around my mouth and nose. The reason it’s lighter around my nose and mouth is because I had already applied my daily sunscreen to my face, and these whiter areas are spots I missed or didn’t rub it in well.

Katie looked at me and said, “Oh, Mommy! Your face looks horrible!” Afraid she hurt my feelings, the sweet girl tried to retract her words but I used the moment to teach her. I told her when I was younger, I thought tan skin looked prettier and healthier than pale, white skin. I described how I used to sit in the sun to get tanned and burned, and how I thought tan lines from my swimsuit looked cool. Then I explained how doing that made my face end up with splotches and wrinkles. She looked shocked and disgusted.

Next, we got her sunscreen (which she hadn’t applied to her face yet) and I asked her to rub a small amount on her cheek. The spot with sunscreen was many shades darker than the rest of her face. This showed her how the sunscreen settles in to her skin and shields it from the sun damage. She thought that was pretty cool, and readily set to covering her entire face with sunscreen.

My last words were: “Now you understand why I want you to use sunscreen every day.” I think this illustration will keep whining to a minimum in the future.

“Nothing is all wrong…” (June 2006)

2011-09-02T08:00:00.000-05:00

June 2006: Who do you compare yourself to? And don’t deny it – I know you do this. I’ve spoken to some of you about it! I know some of you compare yourselves to your own mothers, your friends, and even moms in our group. I do! And sometimes it makes me feel really really bad about myself. I feel less than perfect, or even less than average. I berate myself for being impatient or yelling too much or feeding my daughter “unwholesome” food or for any of the thousands of things that I’ve done. Sometimes I even compare my daughter to the other kids in her age group. (As we all know, Katie is not the child that the books describe as an “angel” baby. She’s the “spirited” one!)

Just when the shame and guilt are about to eat me alive, I remind myself that I am not perfect. I think about how I am doing my best, just like every other mother I know. I remind myself of the things that are going well, like that fact that Katie likes to eat broccoli and she sleeps through the night and has great language skills. My mom used to have a sign posted in her kitchen that said, “Nothing is all wrong. Even a clock that has stopped is right twice a day.” And it’s like that with parenting. Sure, there are values to instill and rules to teach, but I figure I can’t go wrong if I cuddle and hug and love and embrace my child.

I think about how my daughter may not be an “angel” baby, but she is determined and bright and she stands up for herself. She is the child God has blessed me with, and she is the person who has helped me grow up and learn that the world is so much bigger than me. Before Katie was born, I wrote a list called “Things I Want to Teach My Unborn Child.” In my arrogance and selfishness, I never thought she’d be the one who would teach me.

Car Kits

2011-08-31T14:03:00.001-05:00

I was at the park yesterday, and was discussing the “emergency kit” I keep in the back of my car. It has personally saved me countless times, and has saved other moms I know while our kids play together.

It’s a medium-sized plastic bin with a lid.

Inside is a random collection of items that make life with little kids much easier to handle. Here’s a list of the items I keep in mine:

Cereal bars
Applesauce cups
2 packs of peanut butter crackers
Comb
Extra ponytail holders
Socks for each family member
A bathing suit for each kid
One diaper
A shirt, pair of pants/shorts, and underwear for each kid
Sunscreen
Small First Aid kit (I have an additional First Aid kit elsewhere in the car)
Sanitizing wipes

I have a note on my calendar every six months to remind me to rotate new items into the emergency kit. I stash fresh snacks, and change the clothes to suit the upcoming season.

This kit has saved me when I am stranded for an unexpected wait without snacks. It has provided backup clothes when a child (mine or a friend’s) has a potty accident or maybe just plays on a wet slide. It has saved me from having to buy another pair of socks when we go to a play area or bounce house that requires socks. Stock yours with whatever you deem crucial in the pseudo-emergencies of your life!

While we’re on the subject of sanity-saving tips, there are a few other items I keep in the car to make my job a little easier. Besides the prerequisite diaper wipes, tissues, and Goldfish snacks stashed in the car’s console, I have a wonderful restaurant kit in the trunk. Some people call them Busy Bags, which is a better name because they work in places other than restaurants too. Mine is stocked with crayons, a coloring book, stickers, blank paper, a set of Aquadoodle pages with the “magic” water coloring pens, a Thomas the Train take-along play set, dry erase board and markers, and various tiny toys (a Hot Wheels car, a Star Wars figure, and a toy airplane).

I used a zippered plastic bag (the type you buy a comforter or sheets in) and added a dog tag to the zipper with my son’s name and phone number on it. If it gets left behind in a restaurant or doctor’s office, it can be returned to us.

I’ve been visiting a few doctors lately with regular lupus checkups, and I make sure to grab the crayons out of this bag in my trunk. Jackson and I use the crayons to draw all over the paper that covers the exam table, and it makes the wait a little easier. Then when the doctor walks into the room, I break out the big guns and give him the MOST appealing toy I’ve been saving for last: my iPhone!!! It has brought me sanity and allowed me to focus on the doctor’s presence.

“Make It Your Own”

2011-08-20T08:00:00.000-05:00

And I feel like I should follow that title up with a resounding, “Yo, dog!” like the judges on American Idol.

But you know that’s NOT what I mean I say “make it your own.” I’m talking about taking something that’s not quite personal and adding to it so it’s unique to your little family.

This week, I realized back in February I promised to blog about a certain little game I made. (Read that post here.) Did I ever do that? Nope. So, here’s my post, fulfilling my promise six months late!

My kids love playing Cariboo, and it’s one of the few games that doesn’t drive me crazy after three rounds. [NOTE: Go check out the link to Cariboo I included above. It says the game sells for $191 on Amazon. Whah?!] This is how the game looks regularly.

You draw a playing card that has a shape or letter or color on it, and you find a door in the game that has a matching shape/letter/color. Use a little key to open the door and see if there is one of six balls inside the door. If so, put the ball in the vertical blue cache on the right side of the game. When all six balls are placed in the cache, a treasure box opens and the game is over.

I decided to step it up a notch and personalize our Cariboo. First I removed the cards on the door covers. I used photos of our immediate family members and sized them in Microsoft Word, and then tinted the photo one of three colors. I included the person’s name under their photo, then printed them off on white cardstock. I cut the papers into the precise door shape, then slid them in place. Next, I took regular typing paper and printed colors and letters for the playing card pieces.

Once I figured out the door sizes, it was pretty easy to personalize the game for my kids. Now they get to play a game that helps them not only learn family member’s names, but how to spell those names too.

Where Ya Been?

2011-08-19T14:55:00.001-05:00

Oh, just trying to keep up with life!

After we returned from our nine-day road trip, we had one day to pack and prepare for a big milestone for Katie: her first sleepover camp! I grew up going to camps every summer. My parents started sending me to camp when I was SIX years old. (And I was gone for a month!) I can’t imagine doing it that early with my kids, but I know for sure I want them to have some sort of camping experience. I think it’s good for them to be away from their parents and learn about nature and getting along with others and having adventures of their own. My camp memories are priceless and it’s a gift I want to give my kids.

Katie’s first sleepover camp was at a nearby Girl Scout camp. She went with one of our neighbor’s daughters, and they did a special session called “Pair Up.” They pick a buddy to arrive with and spend the three-day, two-night adventure together.

I was nervous about Katie spending her first nights away from us in a platform tent in the woods, and thought there was a 25% chance I might get a call to retrieve her before the session ended. But she was a great sport and I didn’t hear a thing from her until we arrived to collect her. She and her friend were a bundle of energy, telling us about their adventures (“Lots of bugs!”) and singing camp songs (lots of potty humor songs!), and I think it was a successful first try. She says she doesn’t want to go to camp again because of the bugs, but I’ve already got some plans simmering for next summer at a camp that has cabins. Yippee!

After Katie returned from camp, we had one week before the new school year started. We filled the last week of summer with visits to the movie theater, pool and even Chuck E Cheese.

I got to second shoot with my friend Michael and photograph a wedding in there too, which made for some days of exhaustion (the good kind)!

The first day of school arrived…

…and we continued our tradition of treats after school, so we could hear about everyone’s first day.

The adults also enjoyed some treats – my new favorite drink made with Firefly sweet tea vodka. Yum!

Jackson recently hit a milestone: Katie taught him to write his name by himself! He likes to practice on our craft table too, where I stuck a sheet of paper with his name on it under the acrylic table protector. He uses a dry erase marker to write, erase, and write again.

We have some other things that are starting to drive me a little bonkers this summer: our bathroom shower tile is popping off the wall, and the mess and potential for mold behind the tile has me a little tense. Not to mention the idea of spending money to fix it. Ugh! But in a related thought, the idea of money has me already thinking ahead to Christmas spending. I am starting to ponder how I can plan gifts that are meaningful and inexpensive. Hmmm…

We have all kinds of critters that keep popping up in our backyard. Katie previously blogged about our “pet” squirrel Pancake. I’ve spent a few summer hours watching this crazy squirrel hang out in our trees as if he doesn’t have a care in the world.

And the other day I found a dead mouse and then saw two LIVE ones scurrying around our garden. I’m about to declare a full-scale war on varmints!

I think we had a pretty great summer this year. We did lots of activities (VBS, day camps, vacation, camping, amusement parks), celebrated birthdays, swam at the pool, and made some good memories. How did your summer turn out?

Astounding

2011-08-10T16:07:00.001-05:00

I don’t know what today holds, but I do know this, Lord: You are my light. You are the constant through my days. Even when I run off distracted by life and seem to forget You, You never once forget me. You never neglect me.

Your patience in waiting for my return is astounding. Because the moment I finally realize I’ve run off without You, I turn and sense You’ve been with me all along. You never walked away from me; I am the one who did the walking. And the running. And the forgetting.

You are faithful. Loyal. Dependable. Present.

And so very gracious.

The Miracles Turn One

2011-08-09T08:00:00.000-05:00

Remember those little miracles I’ve written about here, here and here? It’s a big milestone for them: they have turned one! Here’s Owen:

And my godson, Finn:

Almost every time I visited this past year, I brought my camera with me to capture their lives. I have quite the portfolio of beautiful babies now! Especially their incredible blue eyes.

Happy birthday, sweet boys!

Back to School Lunches

2011-08-08T08:00:00.000-05:00

It’s that time of year again! We are preparing the back to school routine. Some moms sweat the lunch question every day (What can I pack that my kid will actually eat?!), but I figured out a way to make that question a little less pressing for us. I’ve shared it here before, but it’s worth repeating. Check it out at JC’s Loft today.

Geocaching – Summer Trip Part 4

2011-07-29T08:00:00.000-05:00

I can’t finish the recap of our summer trip without mentioning the geocaching adventures we had. Don’t know what geocaching is? Go check here.

Dan bought a smart phone app for geocaching, and it has totally changed our ability to geocache. While we were on our summer road trip, we stopped in every state and found a cache. We started the trip with only two states under our geocaching belt. We finished with twelve!

Our first cache of the trip was in Metropolis, Illinois. Katie found this one after we searched around and around City Hall.

Our second cache was in a parking lot outside a Toys R Us store in Kentucky. We were stumped, until Katie had the brilliant idea to look under a piece of the light pole. Aha!

The third find was at a rest stop in Tennessee.

The fourth cache was a doozie. It was hidden extremely well in a parking lot near Stone Mountain, Georgia, and our entire family searched for a good 25 minutes in the heat. Three of us gave up, but Dan was determined to find it and went back armed with two extra GPSs, plus his smart phone app. He finally found it when a nice man nearby helped him see “the light.” (Pun intended.)

Dan found our fifth cache of the trip near a Starbucks in Marietta, Georgia. Katie put it back in its secret hiding spot.

All four of us found this sixth cache in the woods near a South Carolina rest stop.

Unfortunately, we don’t have a photo of the seventh cache that Dan and Katie found in North Carolina. (They were out hunting without me and Jackson!)

The eighth cache was Just Off the Exit of Interstate 77 in Chiswell, Virginia.

For the ninth cache, Dan gave me the smart phone compass and told me to find it. I am really bad at orienteering, so I dragged Katie down a muddy hill before he course-corrected me and led us to the cache. It was buried in leaves in West Virginia.

We should have stopped with nine caches, but decided to cross into Ohio for what we thought would be a quick stop to get our Ohio geocache badge. Uh, WRONG! We went a little too far out of the way and ended up selecting a cache that was hidden near some poison ivy. I think we avoided the poison ivy pretty well, but ended up adding at least an hour to our already LONG drive home from North Carolina. But, hey! We EARNED that badge and found the darn thing in a cemetery in Coal Grove, Ohio.

Whew. And THAT is our summer trip, geocache style!

Family Reunion – Summer Trip Part 3

2011-07-28T08:00:00.000-05:00

"With a holy host of others standing 'round me… I'm going to Carolina in my mind." (James Taylor, "Carolina in My Mind")

After we left my hometown in Georgia, we drove on to my sister’s house in North Carolina to attend the reunion of my father’s side of my family. (The same people who skydived at our reunion two years ago.) We are all descendents of my paternal grandmother, who would have turned 97 this weekend. Besides the reunion and Grandmother’s birthday, we gathered to have a surprise party for my Uncle John’s 70th birthday. He’s the oldest surviving child of my grandmother, so he is now the patriarch of our clan.

We lined the road in front of my sister’s house to welcome his arrival.

He pulled up, accepted hugs and a beer, then flashed his Sheriff’s badge. He elected himself sheriff of our family two years ago, and he loves to walk around and remind everyone that he’s “da Sheriff!”

My sister and my aunt planned quite the party. My sister had a tent installed and rented tables and chairs.

She put together cute centerpieces highlighting the birthday boy’s life.

She ordered the cutest Sheriff cake…

…and had the baker make adorable jeweled cupcakes to represent Grandmother’s jewelry that we all “cherished” after her funeral. (*Ahem.* Loooong story there…)

She brought in a bounce house and all kinds of yard games.

She lives on a small lake, so there were canoes to paddle…

…and fish to tease, snakes to shoot, and docks to sit on and ponder life.

As if that weren’t enough, my sister Mary had 20 people spend the night in her four-bedroom home, three people in a tour bus in the front yard, and set sixteen other people up at nearby condos. We had people coming out of the woodwork!

We had amazing food, including hand-picked peaches that tasted like what I *hope* heaven smells like.

I found a new favorite drink. It’s sweet-tea-flavored vodka mixed with lemonade. Yum! (Yes, this photo is out of focus. Which is what happens when you drink sweet-tea flavored-vodka!)

We watched while some family members performed amazing party tricks.

We toasted each other and “the perfect woman…” (“How could I ask for more?”)

I took over 700 photos. My uncle also schooled me on the multiple exposure feature on my camera. (Cool!)

We laughed. A lot!

Someone (I’m not mentioning names!) hit someone else’s car. Oops!

I met a few relatives for the first time.

And I got to watch one of the newest relatives start to explore the world.

I walked away with a sense of belonging and gratitude for the family who came before me and who created this nest of people I love. (Yes, EVEN the crazy ones. Ha!) We had a fantastic summer trip, great visit home, and family reunion!

Home Sweet Home – Summer Trip Part 2

2011-07-27T08:00:00.000-05:00

"In Carolina or in Georgia open arms are waiting for you./Carry on, carry on, sweet southern comfort, carry on." (Buddy Jewell, "Sweet Southern Comfort")

After our big day at Stone Mountain, we spent Tuesday in my hometown of Marietta, Georgia.

We started the day by visiting a landmark I’ve told my kids about and shown them photos of; we even have a bird house in our back yard in the shape of this landmark: the Big Chicken!

It’s actually a Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant in the shape of a triangular chicken. We went inside, bought souvenirs, and took photos.

After the Big Chicken, we headed to my old high school. It is an old building in dire need of updates, and it’s actually being torn down this summer. We walked through the halls where my sister, brother and I spent our formative years. It was such a mix of emotions for me: it made me homesick, made me feel old, and watching my children walk the hallways made me feel like two halves of my life were colliding. Since I live an eight-hours’-drive from my hometown and no immediate family living there, my children have never been to my hometown. The mother part of my life has been separated from my earlier years.

It’s odd to be in a place where ghosts of the past walk with my present and future.

As if that wasn’t weird enough, I watched my son run all over the football field where his namesake spent his glory days. Wow.

Before we left my high school, we stopped at the cafeteria and I signed my name to the wall where other alumni have left their mark. Remember, it’ll all be torn down – but it was fun to leave graffiti!

We moved on to the REAL walk down memory lane: visiting the house where I grew up. And THIS is when the tears finally welled up in my eyes. I pushed my daughter in a swing in my former front yard, thinking of all the things that have changed since I last peeked out my bedroom window and wished my life would just hurry up and start already! (I never realized it already had…)

The kids and I posed for a photo on the front steps. (One day I’ll scan the photo of me and my siblings on those same steps and compare the two here.)

Our last stop was at my hometown church. Dan and I took the kids into the tiny chapel where we were married, and Katie took our photo while we reenacted our first married kiss.

Who would have thought empty buildings could hold so much emotion for me?

It was time for us to head back to our hotel for the fun to begin. We invited some old friends to swim at the hotel pool and visit with us for a while. I especially loved my childhood friends’ kids playing with my kids. So cool!

It was so good to see the faces of those who have known and loved me and my family for so many years.

I loved showing my Home Sweet Home to my kids.

Stone Mountain, GA – Summer Trip Part 1

2011-07-26T08:00:00.000-05:00

Dan, the kids and I left Missouri ten days ago and headed south. We drove all day, stopping a few times for fuel, geocaches (more on that later), Superman…

…and the kids’ current favorite restaurant (there are plenty of these in the South).

We arrived at Stone Mountain, Georgia that evening. We checked in to the Stone Mountain Inn and unloaded our bags quickly so we could make it to the Laser Show on time. Whew… we made it!

I grew up in Marietta, Georgia – not far from Stone Mountain. I can remember going to the Laser Show MANY times as I was growing up. This year’s show is similar to those I remember from my past, with a new “MountainVision” feature, which is basically a video projected on the mountain along with the lasers. My Southern heart stirred as I watched the Civil War heroes march off the mountain to the tune of Elvis’ “American Medley.” It was surreal to do something with my kids that I remember doing as a kid myself.

We spent the night at the hotel then woke up Monday to spend the day at Stone Mountain. Our first activity was to ride a tram up the mountain (1,683 feet above sea level) and get a view of downtown Atlanta.

We started to search for a geocache on top of the mountain, then quickly realized it was a multi-cache (more than one stop on the “tour”) and the kids wouldn’t last long enough to complete it. So we headed down the mountain and went to the Sky Hike, an outdoor ropes course. Dan and Katie got in line while Jackson and I went next door and did the toddler version of the ropes course, called Camp Highland Outpost.

Dan and Katie’s line was really long, so Jackson and I headed to the Great Barn for some air conditioned indoor play.

We had some lunch and went back to watch Dan and Katie work their way through the ropes course. It was really cool. The climbers put on a harness that’s attached with a rope to a metal track that runs the entire length of the three-story structure. The climbers thread their rope through the track and confront obstacles like a balance beam, tightrope, or rope rungs.

Since the course was so high up, I thought Katie would have to fight through some big fears. She surprised me and was a champ! I loved watching her brave the obstacles with nonchalance and confidence.

We ate a little more then took the kids to a short 4D Yogi Bear movie, which was fun and wet! The kids were tired after such an active day, so we finished up at Stone Mountain and skipped some of the other activities (the rock climbing wall, the Scenic Railroad, mini golf, the museum and the antebellum plantation). But before we left, we checked off another geocache in the parking lot. This one was HARD!

We drove back east a few miles to a hotel closer to my hometown, and checked in for the night. Since we were about 15 miles from one of my *favorite* restaurants (BEST. WINGS. EVER.), we drove a bit to Buffalo’s Cafe. OH BABY! It was worth every mile we drove to get there.

I ended the night with a full belly and a heart happy to be back in Georgia.

Beauty Refracted

2011-07-22T08:00:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, unexpected joys pop into my life that can be credited to God alone. My friend Gina is one of those joys.

I met her in an unusual way, a way that is unique to our generation. Past generations of women met through their husband’s jobs or as neighbors or maybe through volunteering in the school PTA or church. Gina and I met online.

She and I regularly commented on a photography blog. I thought she was wry and wise, funny and compassionate. I could tell this simply by reading the comments she posted. She intrigued me enough that I went to check out her blog – Namaste by Day – and started getting to know her there. She did likewise on my blog (leaving 223 comments, to date!), and we quickly realized we actually live in the SAME town. How cool is that? Even better, our sons are the same age. We made plans for a play date and got to know each other in person. In Real Life!

But before I ever met Gina in real life, I started inviting her to church with me. She said no because of a hectic schedule and because “I consider myself very spiritual....just a bit reluctant to get into religion.” (Yes, I still have the email!) Fast forward a year and a half, and she finally brought her family to my church. For the last nine months, I have watched a passion for God unfold in Gina’s heart. I read it on her blog as she describes her excitement about getting to church and worshiping. I hear her talk about how God melts her fears. I know, without a doubt, He is pursuing her and her husband in the same way He has pursued me. It has been an amazingly cool thing to watch.

This weekend at church, Gina gave me a beautiful gift. I knew she was working on something because she kept telling me, “I’m making something for you but it isn’t ready!” She posted something on her blog about it too, but gave a dire written warning before I scrolled down to see the surprise. (She later deleted the post because of possible trademark issues.) So I had a slight idea as to what the gift might be, but wasn’t prepared for this:

Gina hand-painted a canvas for me with Proverbs 31:25, “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” In a card Gina included with the gift, she explained why she picked that verse. She said it describes me!

Now hear this: I am NOT tooting my own horn. If anything, I think Gina is off her rocker, but I am honored by her gesture. Just the fact that someone might look at me and see even a tiny flicker of Scripture reflected in my soul is a HUGE honor to me. That is more precious to me than a gift of jewels or even a massage gift certificate! To think that God is visible in my soul? To think that I glorify Him?

THAT is a testament to His love, His presence in my life. And even more? My friend, who once wasn’t so sure about the church thing, is now quoting Scripture to me. God has His hand on us!

“Receiving a gift is like getting a rare gemstone; any way you look at it, you see beauty refracted.” Proverbs 17:8 MSG

State Songs

2011-07-21T08:00:00.000-05:00

We have a family road trip coming up. In preparation, I’ve been searching for songs about states. It’s been pretty fun trying to compile the list, and I thought I’d share it with you here. Some of these I found on my own, and some I found online and by reading this list here and here too. There are some I’ve never heard, as they are pretty obscure songs.

Feel free to leave a comment and let me know any I might have forgotten or overlooked.

Alabama
- Stars Fell on Alabama (Jimmy Buffett, and others)
- Sweet Home Alabama (Lynyrd Skynrd)
Alaska
- North to Alaska (Johnny Horton)
- The Alaska Song (Lucy J. Dalton)
Arizona
- Arizona (Kings of Leon)
- Oceanfront Property in Arizona (George Strait)
Arkansas
- Mary Queen of Arkansas (Bruce Springsteen)
- Little Rock (Reba McEntire)
- Little Rock (Collin Raye)
California
- California Dreaming (Mamas & Papas)
- California Girls (Beach Boys)
Colorado
- Rocky Mountain High (John Denver)
- Colorado Girl (Townes van Zandt)
Connecticut
- I Live in Connecticut (Aerosmith)
Delaware
- Delaware (Perry Como)
Florida
- Florida (Vic Chesnutt)
- Seminole Wind (John Anderson)
Georgia
- Georgia on My Mind (Ray Charles or Willie Nelson)
- Dixie Land (Elvis)
- Midnight Train to Georgia (Indigo Girls)
- Georgia Peaches (Lynyrd Skynrd)
- Chattahoochee (Alan Jackson)
- Who Wouldn’t Wanna Be Me (Keith Urban)
Hawaii
- Blue Hawaii (Elvis)
Idaho
- Idaho (Josh Ritter)
Illinois
- Sweet Home Chicago (Blues Brothers)
- Chicago (Frank Sinatra)
- Casimir Pulaski Day (Sufjan Stevens)
Indiana
- Gary, Indiana (from The Music Man)
- Back Home Again in Indiana (Louis Armstrong)
Iowa
- Iowa Stubborn (from The Music Man)
Kansas
- Kansas City (from Oklahoma!)
- Wichita Lineman (Glenn Campbell)
Kentucky
- Kentucky Rain (Elvis)
- My Old Kentucky Home (Three Dog Night)
- Blue Moon of Kentucky (Elvis & others)
- Kentucky (Edwin McCain)
- Man of Constant Sorrow
Louisiana
- Johnny B Goode (Chuck Berry)
- Louisiana (Willie Nelson, The Walkmen)
Maine
- Going to Maine (Mountain Goats)
Maryland
- The Lonesome Death of Hattie Carroll (Bob Dylan)
Massachusetts
- Massachusetts (Bee Gees)
- Rock and Roll Band by Boston
Michigan
- Dancing in the Street (Martha and the Vandellas)
Minnesota
- Stuck Between Stations (The Hold Steady)
Mississippi
- Cross Road Blues (Robert Johnson)
Missouri
- Missing Missouri (Sara Evans)
- Missouri (Low)
- Missouri Waltz
Montana
- Montana (Frank Zappa)
Nebraska
- Nebraska (Bruce Springsteen)
Nevada
- Viva Las Vegas (Elvis)
- Waking Up in Vegas (Katy Perry)
- Pretty Vegas (INXS)
New Hampshire
- New Hampshire (Sonic Youth)
New Jersey
- Jersey Girl (Tom Waits)
New Mexico
- New Mexico (Johnny Cash)
New York
- New York New York (Frank Sinatra)
- Empire State of Mind (Alicia Keys)
- New York Minute (Don Henley)
- New York State of Mind (Billy Joel)
North Carolina
- Carolina in My Mind (James Taylor)
North Dakota
- North Dakota (Lyle Lovett)
Ohio
- Ohio (Modest Mouse)
- Ohio Come Back to Texas (Bowling for Soup)
Oklahoma
- Oklahoma (from Oklahoma!)
- Oklahoma Hills (Woody Guthrie)
- Oklahoma-Texas Line (Rascal Flatts)
Oregon
- Portland, Oregon (Loretta Lynn)
Pennsylvania
- The Weight (The Band)
Rhode Island
- Rhode Island is Famous for You (Blossom Dearie)
South Carolina
- From South Carolina (Her Space Holiday)
South Dakota
- South Dakota Morning (Bee Gees)
Tennessee
- Tennessee (Arrested Development)
- Rocky Top (Lynn Anderson and others)
- Graceland (Paul Simon)
Texas
- Deep in the Heart of Texas (Gene Autry and others)
- Yellow Rose of Texas (various)
- Headin for the Texas Border (Flamin Groovies)
- All My Exes Live in Texas (George Strait)
- Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (from the musical)
Utah
- History of Utah (Camper Van Beethoven)
Vermont
- Moonlight in Vermont (Margaret Whiting)
- Long Vermont Roads (Magnetic Fields)
Virginia
- Carry Me Back to Old Virginny (various)
- East Virginia Blues (The Stanley Brothers)
Washington
- Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle (Nirvana)
West Virginia
- Take Me Home Country Roads (John Denver)
- This Protector (The White Stripes)
Wisconsin
- Milwaukee Here I Come (John Prine)
Wyoming
- Song of Wyoming (John Denver)

MISCELLANEOUS
- Everywhere (Tim McGraw)

Gellac Nails

2011-07-19T08:33:00.001-05:00

I have a thing for nice nails. I’m pretty sure it comes from watching my mom sit in front of the TV at night, filing and shaping her nails. I remember falling asleep with my head on her lap while she watched the Atlanta Braves game on TV. Her body would rock as the file moved back and forth across her nails. She wasn’t much for primping, but she always kept her nails in good shape.

I like to keep my nails filed, and polished when possible. So I have a new favorite thing to share. Have you heard of gel nail polish, or shellac? Creative Nail Designs makes the gel polish. OPI makes the shellac.

It’s only available at nail salons. The nail technician applies a clear base coat on my own nails (not acrylics), then sets it with a UV lamp. Then she applies the first of two color coats, setting them each with the UV lamp. Then there’s a final top coat, followed by the lamp. The last step is to rub your nails with plain alcohol to make them shine.

After the rubbing is done, I sit there in amazement and touch my nails and even scratch them. Wonder of all wonders, there isn’t one little dent or ding even though the nails were *just* polished. It’s a weird thing, after spending years of my life having to wait a LONG time after the manicure to make sure the polish isn’t ruined.

But that isn’t even the BEST part! The best part is the polish lasts for at least three weeks AND makes my nails strong with zero chipping. It would last longer if my nails didn’t grow so fast and have space between the polish and my cuticles. Here’s how my nails looked after three weeks:

If I had chosen a color that contrasts more with my skin color, I don’t think I could have worn it for three weeks. The growth would be too obvious.

The second time I had this nail polish applied, I went with the French manicure. Here’s how it looked after a week and a half. (Disregard my ragged cuticles and cuts, please. Focus on the polish, y’all!)

I think I like the color polish better. French is nice, but it’s too perfect and makes me look like a salon rat; as if I am a high maintenance woman who gets her nails done weekly. Which isn’t true. Usually I do my nails myself at home with those nail strips I love so much. Lupus makes the skin on my cuticles very thick and tough, and it hurts badly to push them back. I don’t like a nail technician doing this for me, so I do it at home myself. Besides, this gel/shellac manicure is twice as expensive as a regular manicure - $30 as opposed to $15.

But for a special occasion or a nice treat, I’m definitely going back!

It’s Uncanny

2011-07-15T08:00:00.000-05:00

Retro Video Games

2011-07-14T10:17:00.001-05:00

They say history repeats itself. This photo is proof:

It’s Jackson and his sister, playing their Game Boys from 1989.

I wish I had a photo from 1989 to show the first Jackson and his sister playing these exact same video games. My parents gave them to us for Christmas that year. I was 15 years old, and Jackson was 19. We weren’t quite into handheld video games back then (although we did love our Atari, of course). We were a little old for the Game Boys, but it was the trend that Christmas and Mom wanted to buy them for us. We ended up having a blast with them.

I saved them in a box for years, then came across them recently. Miraculously, they still work! I gave them to my kids, and they beg to play them as much as they beg to play with my iTouch. Our house rule states they cannot play with them unless we are at a restaurant (when we go with friends and the adults want to chat) or waiting at a doctor’s office. They can also earn the privilege of playing when they fill up their marble jars.

In preparation for an upcoming long car ride, we visited Slacker’s and found a treasure trove of game cartridges that will work in my dinosaur Game Boys. Woo hoo! The kids were beside themselves, bouncing with excitement to pick out new games. We bought two (Super Mario 2 and Pac Man), and it’s like Christmas morning in the middle of July!

Girls’ Night Out

2011-07-11T15:01:00.001-05:00

Last Friday, Katie and I went to St. Louis’ outdoor theater to see The Little Mermaid with her Brownie troop. It was Katie’s second time at The Muny, but my first with her. We made a whole night of it.

Before The Muny, we had dinner at Blueberry Hill. It’s a restaurant owned by Chuck Berry, on the Loop in University City.

Katie was thrilled to see a jukebox, and we browsed through the songs for a while. She narrowed it down to two choices, then Aerosmith’s Dream On was chosen over Bob Marley’s No Woman No Cry. (And can I just say how happy it makes me to type that sentence? I think it’s pretty cool that my kids know the Imagination Movers as well as they know classic rock.)

There was a photo booth, which we enjoyed together!

We left the Loop and drove on to Forest Park. I ~~begged~~ asked Katie to let me take her eight-year-old photos, so we took some time before the show started at The Muny. Isn’t she lovely?

We got to The Muny and it was actually a nice night for an outdoor show! We enjoyed the music and acting, then headed home. Katie was in bed a smidge before midnight (yikes!), and our Girls’ Night Out was a success.

My One Original Idea

2011-07-11T08:56:00.001-05:00

I’ve had one original idea in my lifetime; one idea that is solely mine and I know for a fact didn’t come from anywhere else but my little brain.

You can read about it at JC’s Loft today, where I am guest posting.

Anyone else have something original to share?

Pancake the Squirrel: a Guest Post by Katie

2011-07-08T16:02:00.001-05:00

We have a pet! It isn’t an ordinary pet. It’s a squirrel!

He lives in our back yard. We named him Pancake because he lays flat on our patio. He also lays on the base of our tree house.

He is the best pet because he is very silly laying on the ground.

There is another squirrel who lives in the tree above our tree house. We think that is Pancake’s girlfriend!

I Can’t Forget Her

2011-07-03T14:08:00.001-05:00

Dan and I met friends at a restaurant yesterday. I went to the bathroom and was finishing up in the stall when I heard it: gagging and vomiting, coming from the stall next to mine.

Since we were at a restaurant attached to a brewery, my first thought was, “Some poor girl had too much to drink.” I wanted to make sure she was okay, so I took my time finishing in the stall and washing my hands. As I stood at the sink, she came out of her stall. She was young, maybe in her early twenties, wearing a white skirt and a black top. She was very pretty. I looked directly in her eyes. She was not drunk. With the loud noise of the hand dryer to cover me (there were others in the restroom who came in after she vomited), I pointedly said, “Are you okay?” She said, “Yeah.” She washed her hands and we both stood there waiting for the girl at the hand dryer to finish.

Once more, I locked eyes with the woman and it hit me: she was bulimic. I was stunned at the realization in my head, and could barely get my mind wrapped around it. I looked at her once more, dried my hands, then grabbed a tissue as a way to stall for time again. She finished drying her hands, walked to the door, and I followed her. She veered left and I veered right, and that was the last I saw of her.

I joined Dan and our friends at the table, told them what happened, and rejoined the conversation. But I couldn’t relax; the merriment of the day had vanished from my heart. I felt a tremendous pull to go find the girl. This is the conversation I had in my head: “Go find her!” “And do what?!” “Just find her! Tell her she’s beautiful. And loved. And worth more than that.” “And then she’ll think I’m crazy, and what do I know about her life?” “What if she does? Go find her!” “I don’t want to meddle. What if she’s sitting with friends who don’t know anything about this?” “Then tap her on the shoulder and ask her to step aside with you. Or take her a note. Just go find her!”

So I got up from the table again, mid-conversation. I walked through the restaurant and tried to find her. There was a reception in the back room, and I tried to peek in the doors without looking obvious. I didn’t see her on my first scan. I walked away and went through the bar area, then went back to the reception and lingered a little longer at the doors. I still couldn’t find her. I literally had to restrain myself from barging in the room and trying to find this woman. I knew I had to walk away, so I did. And I carried that woman to God’s arms, pleading that He would find some other way to reach her.

I can’t stop thinking about her. This morning in church, I saw her face in my mind again. I replayed the scene over and over, wishing I had a second chance so I could say what I was too stunned to say in the bathroom: You are beautiful. You don’t need to do that. And maybe? Just maybe, I might even say something about God’s grace and love and how she is worthy and priceless.

I am not what you would consider an evangelistic person. I was raised to believe that your faith is a personal thing you didn’t really share with others. It was okay to talk about it, of course, but mainly with people you already knew were believers too. So for me to talk to a total – and hurting – stranger about God’s love? Oooo, my pulse quickens because that idea is SO FAR out of my comfort zone.

BUT… I know that woman needed to hear it. I know I needed to say it, and I’m being prepared to get out of my comfort zone and start saying it more.

So I am praying for her. I am trying to let go of her and put her in God’s hands. I’m also praying for myself.

God, please give me another chance to share your love with others. I am boldly asking: put someone in my path who needs you! Let your Spirit fill my mouth with the words they need to hear. Let me be unafraid to speak your truths, and help me do it gently and with humility. I want to obey your nudges and open my ears to your whispers. And dear God, please don’t let me screw it up. Amen.

“One person standing on the Rock can throw a lifeline to others drowning in the sea.” Francine Rivers, Atonement Child

Mom’s Photo Albums

2011-06-30T15:44:00.001-05:00

I’ve spent the past 18 days looking through a magnifying glass at the last 48 years of my family’s life.

I bought a Groupon that will allow me to have 1,000 photos scanned and turned into digital files. I jumped at the chance, because I am the *lucky* inheritor who received all these albums when Mom died.

Mary and I decided I would take the albums and eventually scan the photos into the computer. Um, yeah. Mom’s been dead almost seven years and I’ve scanned about 30 photos. So having someone else do it for me (and at a discount!) was a blessing…

AND a curse.

Going through my parents’ lives from 1963 to 2003 has been way more upsetting than I expected. Looking at their early years in the albums, it was cute and quaint to see ways their newlywed years mirrored my own newlywed years. Nostalgia set in for the years when babies arrived and grew, and turned into awkward adolescents who hadn’t yet grown into their teeth. (Ahem.)

But once I hit my brother’s high school years, anger began to simmer a bit until it boiled over into, well, pissed off. It makes me mad to see the letters my brother received after his appointment to West Point, and to read all the hope so many people lavished on him. Because now? I have the unwanted hindsight to know he would be dead in eight years.

And that just PLAIN SUCKS. There is no other way to say it.

I look at these photos of graduation parties, weddings, trips to West Point, football games, and holidays. I see smiles and joy. For all anyone knew, our family was perfect and idyllic. Who wouldn’t want to be a Steele? And yet, I knew the dark underbelly of a marriage that had unraveled years before. I was the last of three kids at home and had a front row seat as my parents’ marriage took its last gasping breaths before it, too, died.

In these 1990s photos, we had no idea we were hurtling toward complete destruction. I see images of my high school graduation, and – with hindsight – realize it wasn’t JUST a young girl looking into a bright future. It was the last hurdle before the finish line of my family’s marathon – a marathon that ended badly with a DNF.

This photo is what does me in.

My parents are hugging my brother after his graduation from West Point. At first, I tear up because I imagine the pride my parents felt at their son’s accomplishments. Then the tears prick my eyes a little deeper as I realize that they lost him. They buried their son. How does a parent DO that?!

And then, I look at the photo and get a little glimpse into heaven. Because, to me, this is what I imagine heaven was like on the day three-fifths of my family reunited. Dad must have buried his face in his son’s cheek, while Mom’s arms were finally full again. And at the same time, Jackson welcomed them home with joy. And strength. And love. Most of all, with hope restored. Because this photo shows truth, not some pasted-on smile that comes from years of protecting the underbelly. This photo shows culmination and redemption and unconditional joy.

If I knew then what I know now, I would have walked over to them and wrapped my arms around them and never let go. And one day, I will.

You Say “Potato,” I Say “Gross!”

2011-06-28T11:55:00.001-05:00

Everyone knows that washing your hands is the best way to fight diseases. Ever since Katie was old enough to walk, I started a habit for our whole family. As soon as we enter the door, we do two things before anything else: 1) remove shoes, and 2) wash hands!

Sometimes, the kids grumble about it a bit, but I’m a stickler. They aren’t allowed to enter the rest of the house unless hands have been washed. I’ve been known to ~~force~~ request other kids who are visiting our house to do it too.

A while back, I read about this experiment that will show kids why hand washing is imperative. I wanted to share the results on my blog so y’all would see how disgusting our hands get.

Katie came home from school one day and I wouldn’t let her wash her hands. We followed the experiment instructions and peeled then boiled the potatoes. Once they cooled, one went into a jar without any touching. Another was handled and groped by both Jackson and Katie, then sealed in a jar. The kids washed their hands well, then handled the third potato before it was sealed in the last jar. Here’s how they looked after the first day:

About ten days later, this was the result:

Ewww! I can hardly stand to look at that! The untouched potato was slimy and unappetizing simply due to being an unrefrigerated potato for 10 days. But the dirty-hands-potato is DISGUSTING. Brown and green mold erupted all over. The clean-hands-potato isn’t perfection, of course. It has a nice coating of white fluffy mold, but I think that’s from being sealed in a jar too.

The moral of the story is WASH YOUR HANDS!

Wow

2011-06-21T09:50:00.001-05:00

This past weekend is permanently etched in the granite of my soul. Katie turned eight. We celebrated with friends and family for two days. Then we celebrated Dan on Father’s Day.

And then? To top it all off, we rejoiced that two prodigals have come Home.

First, Dan was baptized.

Then our daughter, Katie. Our world is cynical and jaded when it comes to religion. But seeing the excitement and joy she has for Jesus (notice I didn’t say “religion”) lights a new flame of hope in my heart. After watching Dan’s baptism, I didn’t think my smile could get any bigger. But this photo proves me wrong!

I haven’t written much about it on my blog because I am respecting Dan’s privacy and his tendency to keep his emotions tucked in his heart. (The poor man tolerates my blog so well!) I will try not to embarrass him, but I have to expound a little bit on his journey.

I have been a witness to a transformation – a melting – so profound it is nothing less than a miracle. The love of my life has decided to follow the Love of my life. If you ever doubt the power of God’s presence, the redeeming love of Jesus, or the light of the Holy Spirit, bookmark this blog post and come back to look at this photo often.

I speak the truth: God is real. He is holy, worthy of adoration, alive, shockingly loving, and the BEST giver. (If you want more details on the story, I’d be happy to share them privately.)

To God be the glory. Thank you, Jesus, for the way you love us. Amen!

On Katie’s Eighth Birthday

2011-06-17T08:00:00.000-05:00

Dear Katie,

I feel like I should be saying goodbye to the baby/toddler/little girl version of you, and hello to this all-of-a-sudden grown up kid who has appeared in our lives. I spent many days of your life doubting that we would *ever* make it to this point, because it seemed your growth was taking an excruciatingly slow amount of time. In my mind, if time was going any slower, it would have been going backward.

And now, look at you. I won’t say the dreaded, “They grow up SO fast” cliche that I abhor… but I will say your changes have astounded me. You are a living, breathing contradiction. One moment, you have the poise and elegance that hints at your life as a young lady and – one day – an adult woman. A few blinks later, you resort to the sulking and pouting that transports me back to the Terrible Twos.

Eight is such a contrary age to be!

I am surprised at how your experiences are starting to mirror my own childhood. As I tend to you, I am starting to recover my own memories. This morning, I was brushing your hair and (for the hundredth time) flashed back to when my mom used to brush my hair over breakfast. But this was a different flashback. In that instant, my mother was alive again for me. Your presence connects me to my past in a way I never imagined would happen.

Here’s the thing about eight and memories: I remember being eight, which means you’ll remember things you’re experiencing now too. That’s cool to think you might remember your first summer camp trip, or how your teacher had a habit of laughing out loud at herself. But the idea of you remembering makes me cringe too, because I know this means you’ll remember the hurts your heart might feel or the mistakes we make as parents. You’re going to remember LIFE now, which is scary and exhilarating at the same time.

Despite all my faults and failures (every mother has them, you know; you will too one day, God willing), I hope you remember this above all else: I love you. There is nothing more profound or more simple that I can say to you. I love you in the most broken, imperfect, passionate, adoring way that I know how. Look hard enough and you will find fault and plenty of ways I could love you better, but it’s the best offering I have to give you.

I love being your mommy. I love watching you evolve into the treasured soul God designed you to be. I have no idea how that masterpiece is going to turn out, but I DO know it is breathtakingly beautiful to watch the creation take place.

Happy birthday, sweet Katie. I love you!

Mommy

June 14

2011-06-14T14:14:00.001-05:00

I have loved you with an everlasting Love. Before time began, I knew you. For years you swam around in a sea of meaninglessness, searching for Love, hoping for hope. All that time I was pursuing you, aching to embrace you in My compassionate arms.

When time was right, I revealed Myself to you. I lifted you out of that sea of despair and set you down on a firm foundation. Sometimes you felt naked – exposed to the revealing Light of My Presence. I wrapped an ermine robe around you: My robe of righteousness. I sang you a Love song, whose beginning and end are veiled in eternity. I infused meaning into your mind and harmony into your heart. Join Me in singing My song. Together we will draw others out of darkness into My marvelous Light.

Jeremiah 31:3; Isaiah 61:10; 1 Peter 2:9

[This is the June 14 devotion from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.]

Efficient and Organized

2011-06-13T08:00:00.000-05:00

I have often been accused of being anal retentive and Type A. If the shoe fits… I am not embarrassed to wear it!

Click here to check out JC’s Loft today and find out what tool I use to stay organized and efficient when I go grocery shopping.

The Scooter of Life

2011-06-10T22:07:00.001-05:00

Jackson and I decided to do two errands on foot today. After Katie left for Girl Scout day camp, Jackson and I left the house; me on foot, Jackson on his scooter. Our first stop was the Post Office. Our second stop was Walmart.

I was hypervigilant while we walked to our destinations. I taught Jackson how to stop at crossings and look left and right, then proceed through the intersection (or across a driveway) by walking his scooter instead of riding it. There were a few points where he tired and I carried his scooter while we held hands and walked. At the start of our walk, there was a bit more frustration on both our parts as he learned STOP! really means stop. But as we neared home at the end of our walk, we were both enjoying ourselves. Jackson trusted my guidance, stopping when I asked him and waiting for me to catch up to him so we could move forward together.

We arrived home, ate lunch, and Jackson settled in for naptime. I started my daily devotion time, and here’s what I read in Jesus Calling: “As you gaze anxiously into the distance, you don’t even feel the strong grip of My hand holding yours. How foolish you are, My child!”

Walking with Jesus is just like my walk with Jackson. My son rode his scooter with his eyes on the next corner or the next glide downhill, never looking at his immediate surroundings to watch for cars or potholes that could wreck his scooter. His gaze was in the distance, his focus on the thrill of zooming faster and faster. Jackson was just being the foolish child he was created to be. My presence was barely a blip on his radar screen.

How many times do I ride the Scooter of Life without a second thought to Who is holding my hand or Who is plotting my course?

Thank you, Jesus, for steering me through danger and safety. Thank you for letting me simply enjoy the scooter ride, exploring the world safe in the knowledge that You are looking out for me. Open my eyes to sense your presence, and my ears so I can better hear your warnings AND encouragements. Amen.

Wordless Wednesday – What Friendship Looks Like

2011-06-08T22:10:00.001-05:00

Wordless Wednesday

Holy Yoga Eye Pillows

2011-06-03T08:00:00.000-05:00

My friend Jill is starting a new journey in her life. She is being trained as a Holy Yoga instructor. I am not a yoga lover, but she talked me into taking a Holy Yoga class with one of her friends who is already a trained instructor. It wasn’t nearly as bad as I expected, and I liked the Christ-centered approach to yoga.

At the end of class, there was some meditation/prayer time. Jill’s friend passed out lavender-scented cloths for each participant to use to cover her eyes during meditation. Later, Jill was brainstorming some ideas for these cloths with me, and asked if I could think of way to make some eye pillows that would be hygienic enough for use in class when she becomes a teacher. This is what I came up with:

I found some cheap, white broadcloth fabric. White fabric is key, so it can be bleached. I cut these into 4.5” x 9” rectangles, then sewed them on three sides. I turned them inside out, filled them with Poly Pellets, and sewed them shut. The finished size is about 3” x 8” after a big seam allowance. (I don’t sew incredibly straight.)

I made a sample pillow first, and threw it in the laundry twice to check how well the pellets hold up in a washing machine. I air-dried it after the wash, and the pillow held up just fine.

These are so easy to make, affordable (I figure about $1.20 each for materials), bleachable/hygienic, scent-able (I think she can spritz aromatherapy scents on the outside), and I think they will be a beautiful tool during Holy Yoga prayer time.

Summer Fun Cupcake Decorating Kit

2011-06-02T08:00:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is Katie’s last day of second grade. Today is the class party; my last visit to her class for the year. Katie already delivered one gift to her teacher a few days ago - these hand sanitizers.

I also make Katie’s teachers the same gift every year: a special movie. Every time I volunteer in class, I take photos of the kids and the teacher. Then at the end of the year, I set the photos to music and give the teacher a copy as a memento of her year. This serves a dual purpose: Katie now has a collection of movies too. Each year, the class watches the movie at the end of year party, and the kids enjoy seeing a recap of their year. This year, one of the parents graciously donated 20 blank DVDs for me to burn enough copies for every kid in the class to have one.

Besides the movie, I wanted something special to take to the teacher today when I go to the class party. I saw a cute cupcake decorating kit on Pinterest last week. (LOVE that site, by the way! Thanks, Michelle!) I can’t find the original link to it, so I can’t link to it here. But I took the idea and ran with it, buying some cute items at Joann’s last night.

I found a transparent paint can for $3.50. I found a mix of cupcake liners and picks, spending about $7 for 200 of them. A jar of red glitter sprinkles was on sale for $1.71, and I found a pack of foam cupcake stickers for $1. That brings my total for this teacher gift to $13.21. I added my own ribbon and tag that says “Summer Fun Cupcake Decorating Kit.”

I can’t wait to give it to the teacher and wish her a relaxing summer!

Wordless Wednesday – Sprinkler Fun

2011-06-01T21:27:00.001-05:00

Wordless Wednesday